...and a great hope for a wonderful future.
======================================================
by Philipina A. Marcelo
Like I said last Sunday, the past week had been a long one... long in silent hope for an affirmative answer for a prayed miracle. But God, indeed, is a
merciful God, I didn't get just one awesome miracle, He showed me many! Today, I got another one to add to that amazing chain of miracles - a great result from my surgical pathology report: zero life threat! :) Therefore, this is a day of great joy, not only for myself but for all my loved ones as well! While I decided to keep my quest for a miracle "private" then, I would be a remiss now if I didn't express my gratitude to those who, together served as channel, through which God sent his incredible love and merciful miracles my way. I felt absolutely loved and will be forever grateful!***
The Knights in white jackets
They wear white jackets rather than shining armors. But they are Knights - the gentle kind. They marched to big battles everyday... and they are relentless in conquering their enemy: illness... and sometimes death itself.
Last week, I entrusted my own life to a band of them "Knights in White", as I let them crush what was threatening to crush me and my
The University of Santo Tomas Hospitalfuture. I was confident that they will see me through it all, because they encouraged me to ask for help, and guidance for them, from Him - the One true and merciful God for whose amazing miracles and grace they valiantly fight... everyday.
It was a normal day for me... waking up early, eating breakfast, and then went through all my "usual" daily stuff, including writing an entry for this blog! :) But I had to make that "planned" trip to the UST hospital with my niece, who is a nurse and volunteered to accompany me - a true angel she is.
Because I love my freedom, I considered my stay in the hospital as a "detention", and my hospital room, my "detention cell". :) But even after a "name tag" was strapped around my right wrist, handed my detainee's kit, and showed to my "detention cell", everything still felt "normal". :) Even my vitals were normal as indicated by my initial check. And then, one of them, Knights - the one who held the scalpel (a.k.a. surgeon) - showed up in my cell to brief me about the "program of activities", especially in the next 24 hours. He has gone through a detailed description of the procedure that will be performed on
My detainee's kit. :) me once before and I felt like a very interested student, so eager to learn... and he was a fine professor, too, clearly responding to my querries. This time though there was a tone of solemnity in his voice, and it kinda intimidated me... and it was then that it felt like quite a "unique" day indeed.
About an hour later, another Knight in White (a.k.a. cardiologist), accompanied by a trio of white armored "mini knights" (a.k.a. interns/residents. Hehe...), came to look at my ECG charts and what not... he tried a few gadgets on me with a serious but very calm face. Later, with a disarming smile, he announced that I was a "medical bore"... and signed my CP clearance! :) What a charming Knight he was! The next few minutes became a lively discussion of the "Reproductive Health Bill" that is being debated on in the Philippine Congress among the six of us. It was wonderful to hear an intelligent argument against the Bill from the obviously intellectual Knight. It was at that moment when I was convinced that it was indeed an "extra-ordinary" day! :)
Another hour, and a mini-knight, sent by another Knight in White (a.k.a. attending physician/endocrinologist), came to take my vitals, which were normal, and ask gazillion of questions. After deciding that I gave excellent answers to her questions, she then wowed me with some professional facts about my AP/Endo... most of it I wasn't aware of before. Hmmm... I knew it, I was really in good hands! :) Not that I ever doubted that either! :)
In the early evening, another Knight in White (a.k.a. anesthesiologist) appeared at my door. After a brief introduction, she went over the "intricate procedure" that she was tasked to perform on me in the operating room. I was mesmerized! Did I have a question, she wanted to know. Hell, yeah! But I was speechless... and let her go. After I recovered, I dicussed the procedure once again with my niece, and she answered my questions. I thought my hearbeat went double time... but a check by a white clad "sub-knight" (a.k.a. nurse) confirmed that I was just imagining it - vitals still normal! :)
Later in the evening, my family arrived and I had dinner with them in my "cell". :) After most of them left, leaving me with my niece, a younger sister, and a lot of confidence and faith that everything will turn out
My comfy "detention cell".well, I took a nice, refreshing shower. Hmmm... it felt normal once again... except that I had to keep combing my hair on a hospital bed... in a hospital patient's gown, too! Ugh!
Just when I was about to give my full concentration to a tennis match over at Roland Garros, another mini-knight, sent over by my AP/Endo, arrived to work on my IV - signaling the beginning of fasting for tomorrow's big "Knightly procedure". She couldn't figure my nerveless hands... and she asked a sub-knight to try, which she failed, too. Some winners and unforced errors from Roland Garros later, the first AP/Endo mini-knight who "interrogated" me earlier came back to take a shot at my hand, too. She finally got a "long and straight" nerve on my hand appear! A few minutes later, my right arm was strapped to an IV pad! I was a full-pledged hospital detainee! Ugh!
***
Going through a Knightly procedure
I woke up early the next day and went about my usual morning rituals - except anything that involved food. I was annoyed that my mobility was so restricted by my IV appendages, but my TV morning shows cheered me up. :) A final check on my vitals showed normal results. And then at 9:00 AM, three people came with a wheeled bed to take
me to the operating room! Huh? Nobody explained this to me earlier! The last thing that I would want is to look, or made, helpless! I felt so cheated and infuriated!! I demonstrated to them that I could walk without any problem! They all laughed... and I wondered, did I look all that ridiculous in my hospital gown? I glanced at my niece and she was supressing a laughter. Hmmm... oh, well... maybe I should just travel horizontally then! :) The in-charge among the three explained, after clearing her throat, that it was SOP... sort of reminding me that I was a "detainee" and therefore must abide by the rules of my detaining institution! :) Dang! She was right, of course!A few minutes later, I was counting the flourescent lights above me as I got wheeled to the operating room, trying to memorize the turns that we took. The "wheeling crew" in-charge did some small talks with me - very funny ones - as we boarded the elevator, and I was laughing ridiculously! More wheeling in the upper floor now. We entered a double door into an immaculate corridor, and then we made a right turn to an opened double door, and came to a full stop... no more flourescent lights to count now, just a couple of large round lights - the kind they used in footbal fields - staring back at me from a high ceiling as I was transferred from the wheeled bed to a very narrow bed in the middle of a square room. I looked around and saw that it had all the hospital operating room stuff I usually see on "House"... and on "Trapper John, M.D." and "St. Elsewhere" back in my childhood days. I was so mesmerized that I even let the "wheeling crew" bodily transferred me to the narrow bed without complaints!
I was brought back to the present by the anesthesiologist, greeting me, and going over the procedure once again as she moved about perkily with a band of unrecognizable Knights, hidden in their blue scrubs, complete with hair nets and face masks, humoring me about my sudden
Doctor, doctor, I am sick...silence! Was I nervous, they wanted to know. Was I? Nah, my surrounding and the buzzing Knights around me - moving fast and so sure of themselves - was just too... I think I used the word "surreal" when I responded. They laughed, and I got a bit embarrassed.
And then, I felt like I needed to use the restroom... but they started fixing my arms on the bed's arm rests. Someone attached something on my left arm and warned me that it might hurt when "the thing" grips to get my blood pressure periodically... it sure did! It's like being forcefully gripped by a "jealous violent boyfriend"... not that I've ever experienced it! :) They laughed at my comparison and adjusted the thing a little to ease the pain. A sub-knight attached a number of things on "key points" in my body, just like what they did to me at the Heart Station for my ECG. One lifted my head to gather my hair in a head band and asked, "so, how would you like me to cut your hair today, madam? Would you like to try our new hair color products?" I was amused and replied with a, "you think chestnut brown would be a good choice for me?" She expressed her approval, "excellent, madam!" And then the "ECG sub-knight" commented, "you might want to try our foot paraffin treatment, madam," as she attached something to my ankle. "That sounds great," I said, "make it warm and cozy...." I vaguely heard someone commented on how "damn normal" my vitals were. And then I drifted away, drowning their humorous quips to mere distant murmurs. And then... complete silence.
***
Waking up to a whole new world - healthwise
It felt like only a few minutes later when, something gripped me on my left arm painfully... like a jealous violent boyfriend! And, I winced! From a distance, I heard people debating about who had the tastiest lunch... and what merienda is best for the day. Hmm... weird. The jealous boyfriend gripped my arm again, and I squirmed from my... uh, bed. I tried to remember where I was... and realized that... hmmm, did the narrow bed in the operating room just expanded sideways? I struggled to open my eyes, expecting to see the couple of giant lights above me... but no, what greeted me was a pair of flourescent lights encased in a diffuser box on a low ceiling. I moved to see more closely, trying to lift my head... and that's when I felt some raw tenderness and dull pain on my neck. Dang! That's right, I was supposed to have my neck slashed today! And then, I felt like I really, really needed to pee - badly! So, I called one of the "debaters" if she could help me... but my voice came out as a whisper... and very painfully, too! Dang again! That's right, I was supposed to have something removed inside my throat, and my voice was going to be affected. So, I tried to raise a foot... a "debater" noticed and she rushed to my side. She helped me.... Whew, relief!
After that, I realized what had just happened... I made it! I went through the operation and I made it back to life - a new life! Hopefully, a life with a healthier body. I then closed my eyes and uttered some heartfelt words of thanks to God. It made me feel so much better. :)
A check on my vitals showed normal. And then, a trio of "wheelers" were once again wheeling me through the immaculate corridor... coming out of a room, which I learned later as the recovery room, from the opposite side of the operating room. And then, I was back on "my bed" in my "cell" with my niece greeting me with her encouraging smiling face. She asked, "how was it?" I rolled my eyes exageratedly and replied in a whisper, "how am I supposed to know?" She laughed amusedly. I made face to her, complaining about the weird taste of medicine in my mouth... anesthesia, we both guessed. And then, I fell asleep again.
I was woken up by an arrival of a cousin sister and her husband. She was looking at me with deep concern on her face... but when I asked what did they bring for food, she sighed a sigh of relief! :) She and her husband talked to me about quick recovery, and thanking God and all... and then her phone rang - an emergency with a worker in the family business. I assured them that I'll be fine... and they left, and I fell asleep again.
I woke up with a real need to use the bathroom... my niece helped me. Except for the, growingly terrible pain in my neck, it wasn't so bad, my
balance was perfect... but the IV was a big hassle. I went back to my bed and tried to rest... with a BBC sports newscaster murmuring in the background. Soon, my door opened and my delightfully boisterous family came in... with lots of foods - for themselves! :( I tried to eat a little... actually, I mean I restrained myself from eating a lot! :) A sub-knight and mini-knight came in to check on me, asking questions... how did I feel? Does my neck hurt? Do I feel nauseated? And they gave me my medicines, which were a REAL PAIN to swallow, just because it felt like I have forgotten how to swallow water... or any liquid for that matter! :( But they were impressed that I was up and about with normal vitals... and eating. :)Later, another mini-knight came to clean and change my neck wound dressings... and they kept checking on me every two hours or so. While it was annoying that my sleep got disrupted each time, I was thankful that they kept assuring me that I was doing fine. It assured my family as well, and it gave them courage to leave me the next morning with my niece once more.
***
Armaggedon day!
Early in the morning, just after I said my morning prayers, I washed my face and brushed my teeth... that brought some kind of normalcy in my day. And then my surgeon and his mini-knights walked into my room. Like all valiant Knights, they brought a sense of salvation to me. Their smiling faces were the most reassuring thing for someone like me whose neck has just been slashed! :) They took a peak at my neck, they were satisfied with what they saw. They asked questions, and were happy with my answers. They left me with an air of confidence that I was doing well, and that I may just need 24 more hours of "detention" before I could be granted my "freedom" once again! Hurrah!
I thought that the day would be a great one... but no! A big fat NO! As in NOOOOOO! A few minutes after the Knights in White left my room, a number of things began to bother me. My head hurt like I never knew what hurting actually meant in all of my more than forty years of life! My stomach felt like an acid was burning it and it felt like the worst kind of pain! The whole room seemed to swim and it felt like I was being kicked around like a ball in the air. Dang! So this was how it felt like to be a ball being played by Barҫa... except that I wasn't a ball! *sigh* Whatever I ate, it forced itself out - through my mouth - and the pain in my head and my stomach went to another level of hell each time! I began to be convinced that I was actually in hell already! My niece stood by me all throughout my ordeal... and it lasted the whole daytime - almost all 12 painful hours of it! The sub-knights and mini-knights were all up on their toes, trying to find cure for my pains, making frantic calls to their superior Knights, while I felt like dying right there and then that I already said all the prayers of a dying person! My niece was not agitated though 'cause my vitals were still normal.
Some "miracle drug" momentarily dulled the pain, and I felt some life returning to me in the afternoon. After washing my face and my mouth in the bathroom, I willed my body to hold-off the pain. The fresh beddings helped. And then, like a ray of sunshine in a horribly depressing day, my AP/Endo breezed through my door together with three mini-knights - all wearing the best smiles in the whole wide world! A small touch on my feet, at the foot of my bed, as my AP/Endo walked to my side seemed to have carried all sorts of healing, and I felt wonderful as I answered all his questions, with some humor even! He said if I keep up the good spirit, my surgeon would even send me home tomorrow... depending on my smile tomorrow, he joked. But he solemnly advised me not to fake it though. After they left, I thought I was on my way to redemption! Oooh, I was so wrong!
I woke up from my late afternoon nap with a pulsating killer headache! My stomach did its now familiar inside-out acrobatics, and it seriously felt like Armageddon was here! I so desperately wanted to drink warm water to ease the pain, but my throat felt numb, I can't swallow anything liquid!
A day of twilight... When I tried out of desperation, I coughed so hard I spat blood, and I cringed with fear! Aaaargh... crying was completely useless... and so, I refrained from crying and willed my stomach to settle down! I felt helpless... and hopeless! One sub-knight was alarmed at how pale I looked... and he noted that my blood pressure, while still in the lower limit, dropped. He sounded so firm when he requested a mini-knight to ask for immediate help from the Knights! In the evening, my family arrived and they thought I looked tragic! Who were they kidding, I felt tragically TRAGIC-EST!
With clearance from the Knights, I was given all sorts of medicines to ease the incredible pain that rendered me completely helpless... and hopeless! I tried to sleep through it all... but my stomach kept turning inside-out so violently, even when it was already completely empty! Seriously, helpless... and hopeless! I resigned to my predicament... until I felt lifeless, and finally fell asleep, with one niece massaging my head and another holding a hot compress gently on my stomach. I was almost certain I was going to die that day... and I lamented over my unpublished research papers... and the nice pair of red shoes I was waiting to go on sale!! Dang! =)
***
A day of salvation
I vaguely remembered being whispered something to by mini-knights and sub-knights throughout the nighttime. But I completely ignored all of them. I was beginning to understand my body that day. It was rebelling from its new being - functioning without an important organ. :( But the anesthesia from the operation supressed its revolt. When the power of the anesthesia relented, my body went amok... assaulting all that was foreign to it, including food, and even light through my eyes! I just had to calm it down, convince it that it will function better now that the poisonously defective organ has been removed. I tried to will my stomach and my hurting head to settle through "good old sleep"... whispering prayers in my head the whole time until I drifted to unconsciousness. My niece seemed to understand what I was trying to do, and she stopped everyone from forcing me to wake up.
I woke up kind of refreshed the next day... some energy coming back. All my vitals were back to their normal level. There was less pain! I thanked God with a short prayer. I stood up and walked to the bathroom, and used it with a comforting "success". :) I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and it felt great! As arranged for me by a sub-knight, the Catholic hospital service dropped by to give me a communion... and I savored the closeness to the Holy Spirit with a short prayer.
With the window blinds drawn and only a little light, I tried to eat a little breakfast, chewed slowly... and then took my medicine. I still coughed horrendously, but I tried not to think about how bad it felt. As soon as the coughing subsided, I went back to sleep. Soon, a band of mini-knights sent by my surgeon came to remove the catheter from my neck... but my niece was adamant not to disturb my sleep. And they went away reluctantly. In less than an hour, however, they came back to carry out "doctor's order" - they insisted gently. And they removed the dressing from my neck while I was half asleep. They were all very gentle, I almost didn't feel a thing. Soon, I was fast asleep again.
I woke up at lunchtime... and my stomach seemed to be asking for food - good sign! I once again ate sparingly... and helping my stomach with some tea, which I sipped almost one drop at a time, and it comforted my stomach magically. After another nap, I felt almost normal! I went for a refreshing sponge bath, combed my hair and changed into a fresh hospital gown, which my niece ordered and was promptly delivered. By the time I
Salvation and joy... just behind the clouds.was ready to go back to bed, my beddings were changed again by some invisible beddings changer. I thanked her in my heart and I climbed on the bed with positive feelings... once again sipping tea, and I felt almost good. I went back to my nap.
Just when the sun started its descent in the horizon, my surgeon and his band of mini-knights came. They were happy to find me with the color on my face back to normal. I was feeling good, too... it felt almost odd! :) The Knight checked the work of his mini-knights on my neck and he was satisfied - to the relief of the mini-knights. :) He was also satisfied at how I was healing.... Uh, what??? I had to beg his pardon! Yes, I was healing, he repeated! True enough, I have about 70% of my voice back already... except that it was still a big effort to speak. But he assured me that I will soon be speaking normally. And he gave instructions to his mini-knights for my release the next day. Hah! I listened to my stomach... it was humming normally, and my headache was all gone. I closed my eyes momentarily to whisper a small "thank you" to Him who sent these Knights in White my way... and as I did so, I can feel the clouds dissipating from the sky above!
***
Sweet freedom!
The next day was fantastic! I woke up buzzed up! My niece and my younger sister were looking at me funny... gauging my happy mood. :) When I announced that I was taking a shower, they both
Saying goodbye to my "detention cell".applauded! They knew I was really on my way to claim my freedom... and theirs, too! :)
After taking care of a few practical things... and after one last visit from a mini-knight who gave us last instructions about changing dressings in my neck and taking my medicines, my sister appeared at my door with my "release note"! Woohoo! We packed our stuff and said goodbye to my cell... and all the good spirits in it that helped me through my ordeal! On our way home.... we toasted our freedom with iced tea and celebrated - with a big meal! I looked at my younger sister, and my niece who stayed with me the whole time, and I felt nothing but immeasurable love! They were amazing! They made me want to celebrate my "new life" all the more! :)
While I am aware that when human health problems are involved, no solution is permanent, I am certain that my Knights have just given me a lot of wonderful reasons to hope for great years ahead! Therefore, I hope for great years ahead! :)
***
Post-script
You know what they say about friendship?
Well, time is immaterial in friendship. Sometimes, you are friends with people you've been with since childhood, and you stay friends for the rest of your lives... and that's wonderful! In other cases, you meet people for a short period time, and in most desperate moments, too... and they touch your life in the warmest possible ways! Those Knights in Whites in that old castle along España Blvd. - at the Pontifical University of Asia - are that kind of friends. I barely knew them, and yet they took care of me... as eager as my own family to bring relief when there was pain, and as happy as my family and I when pain was finally conquered and when relief arrived. They inspired me to confront my illness. They educated me about my illness, empowering me and giving me the confidence to conquer it! You know
Awesomeness!when people do this just because it was their job and they enjoyed the money... but you could also tell when they do this out of passion - the passion to help people... and the desire to serve God by serving others. My Knights are a bunch of the latter... and I feel truly fortunate to have them! :)
I know that the hand of God is in all of this... and yet, I feel absolutely indebted to my supercool and absolutely awesome otorhinolaryngologist (whew!)/surgeon, Raymond G. Belmonte, M.D., DPBO-HNS and my super intelligent and "rockstar" (very popular) of an endocrinologist/attending physician Sjoberg A. Kho, M.D., FPCP. I feel A WORLD OF THANKS for both of them... and to their wonderful mini-knights (a.k.a. residents and interns. Hehe...), and the gentle sub-knights (a.k.a. nurses) who worked with them, for helping me through my ordeal! I am also thankful to my anesthesiologist, the youthful and dynamic Dr. Sheri Ann Liquete, as well as the kind and humorous cardiologist, Dr. Rodelio S. De Sagun, who gave me my CP clearance with a seal of being a "medical bore" (o, yah!) and some words of wisdom on RH Bill. I am also thankful to the wonderful minions (a.k.a. office staffs) of Dr. Belmonte and Dr. Kho for all their personalized service and endearing sense of humor... and the UST Hospital Cashier and Philhealth staff for their efficiency and admirable work ethic that paying our bills was a breeze! :)
I wish all of them great things ahead, and an abundant source of passion to keep doing what they do! May our good Lord bless them and their loved ones always. :)
Thank you! Gracias! Tack! Grazie! Xièxiè! Arigatogozaimasu! Obrigado! Gràcies! Je vous remercie! Terima kasih! MARAMING SALAMAT! :)
-Philip
8th of June 2011
***
Photo credit: The UST Hospital photo was grabbed from the UST Hospital website. - Thanks! All other photos are mine.
