Hi, July...

...you're back.  And, I see that you're better than ever - good!
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by PAM


Yep, July is my favorite month... and for a very good reason, too: it's my birth month! :)  As many of my close friends would know, I dislike 'celebrating' my birthday with all that

They call me by a different name these days, so weird.

stressful fun fare, me being a 'mild anti-social' who prefer a quiet gathering with family and very close friends... just being ourselves, enjoying a quiet meal, laughing at our really shallow jokes.  This year, I spent the day... uhm, working - from home!  Nevertheless, a few people insisted on making sure that I felt how special the day was... they sent very nice text messages, e-mails... and some left little mementos on my desk in the Office.  But I had a tough mission on my birthday, that I had to work very hard not to be distracted (translation: emotional) by all the very warm greetings, and go all sappy and sentimental about the whole birthday 'celebration' thing, and how my current circumstance was not allowing me to have a celebration... and I wasn't fighting to have one either!  

Nah, I'm not training to be a heartless hermit or something.  I just feel like I am in that situation where I feel there is so much blessings coming my way that I honestly feel I don't

Now, that's a nice wish that I appreciate.

deserve... just because I didn't pray for any of them!  Therefore, while I try very hard to make the most of all the blessings, turning them to an offering to God, I can't help but feel all paranoid, and asking, "dear Lord, what's the catch?" :)  And then, I remember, it's God... there's no catch.  There never is a catch when He is concerned.  And so, I decided to spend some hours on my birthday... just enjoying the beauty of never having to worry about 'the catch' in quiet contemplation. And, as always, it feels indescribably great... I won't trade it for fancy gifts - ever!

Anyway, on my birthday, in my quiet contemplation, I can't help but think about "Too much Happiness", a compilation of short stories by the great Alice Munro - the latest recipient of the Nobel Prize for Literature.  There was a passage in one of the short stories there that would usually fill my head when I close my eyes to contemplate on something these days:

"Be quiet, be quiet, she wanted to tell them.  It seemed to her that silence was necessary, that everything in  the world outside the boy's body had to concentrate, help it not to lose of its duty to breathe.
"Shy but steady whiffs now, a sweet obedience in the chest.  Keep on, keep on."

It was one of those short stories, where the protagonist, Doree, while on her way to perform a 'routine self-imposed obligation' that effectively rendering her life on unfair stand-still, saw a vehicular accident.  She tried to help the boy in the accident to survive by administering first-aid while they waited for the ambulance.  She didn't realize that

Now, that's a shape and color I prefer. Soon....

the 'distraction' actually took her away from the acceptance of an empty existence - her routine... suddenly realizing the precious gift of life she had all the right to enjoy rather than throw away in favor of an empty routine. 

Sometimes, I feel that way... that I am taking care of "someone" who met an "accident", while we wait for the "real" help, and get the victim regain his health, be back on his feet... and run again.  The only difference is that, in my case, the victim, the accident and the help is one and the same.  The happy thing is it's breathing now, it's helping itself, and it looks as though it will progress steadily to get on its feet soon... and then, I'd be free to disentangle myself from my 'distraction'... and run a 'different race'.  It's only a matter of time now.  :)

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Holidays = rest days...

...it's all I want for Christmas!
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by PAM


I thought I'd never outgrow the child-like feeling of anticipation and excitement, looking forward to unwrapping gifts in this season of gift-giving and merry-making... but I did!  Now, I wish for nothing else but some "me-time" during the holidays... gifts are good, but I prefer quality time for much-needed rest.  

It's been a really, really exhausting year!  I cannot even begin to look back to the past 11 months without cringing over that challenging roller coaster ride of 2013!  I don't think there is a word to describe the exhaustion that I feel right now.  No matter how profound the inspiration to offer one's time and self to meet the challenges, it is unfortunate that the body is not immune to 'wear and tear'.  Since last week, I basically am just languishing through the days, just wishing for the year to be over soon, with the thoughts of the coming holiday and the cheers it brings as my inspiration to keep going.  

Yep, dude, I'm so looking forward to the holidays when I could just sleep in... think of nothing but give my tired bones and 'battered' body and mind some rest.  I'm so looking forward to a few 'slow days' when I could just wake up at 8:00 in the morning and drink my coffee lazily as I watch our furry bundle of cute antics does his thing. I am so looking forward to spending hours in a rocking chair under our mango tree, just

"Me-time" is leisurely reading time.  Oy, what a great time!

reading leisurely as my mind and body recuperate from all the incredible challenges that 2013 so mercilessly hurled in front of me.

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Two months ago, I celebrated Alice Munro's win of the Nobel Prize in Literature.  I've always been a big fan of hers. I love her works - the simple words, crocheted into an alluringly beautiful story that unknowingly draws one into a maze that is the intricacies of human nature, engages one to relate his/her own understanding of himself/herself with Ms. Munro's views as if the story she was telling was the reader's own story, and coming out of it with much amazement.  

Early this year, I bought a 2009 Alice Munro paperback, "Too much happiness", that I meant to read during summer.   It is a compilation of 10 short stories.  Yep, I could get as sentimental as buying paperback even when I maintain a 'relationship' with my iPad. :) Anyway,  summer 2013 passed, and I only managed to read one short story!  Not even Ms. Munro could weave a web of great imagination that could hold me in a momentary blissful trance that only reading literary works could do... that's how extremely busy 2013 had been. :(  Nevertheless, I'm still

Holiday theme:  making quality time
to appreciate this 'borrowed time' more.

thankful.  I feel blessed with so much opportunities to make this borrowed time useful and meaningful.

This holiday season, I have the 'perfect' gift to myself - read the Munro book in its entirety! :)   Of course, I intend to finally 'devour' my Thor comics as well - even get "The Dark world" DVD if it's already available - and, spend time reading those articles on The Economist that I missed during the last three months or so, and feast on a few 'camera tricks' with my photography stuff, too, if I could get some more "bonus" time. :)  Hopefully, the body could recuperate enough to enable the mind and heart to find ways to give more in 2014.

Yep, I am so looking forward to have some much deserved (man, I hope so!) "me-time" during the holidays. Uh-huh, it's feeling a lot like Christmas already! :)

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