Saturday Photo

 

I heard that quote in the photo collage above sometime ago.  I'm not sure from which movie but I'm pretty sure it was a Hallmark TV movie. As I said over and over in the past few entries in this blog, my 'film-critique-wannabe' days are over.  I watch movies to relax and be entertained these days... and TV movies are now 'my thing'.  Anyway, I got reminded of that quote because, today, I felt that I saw 'soul and perfection' in what was otherwise 'common and familiar'. 

Today, I spent 12 hours with the elder of my two nephews.  We did what we love doing: long drive, eat good food, talk - a looot, and laugh our hearts out.  We used to do this a lot with his siblings and cousins when he was growing up.  We spent many days and hours going around nearby cities and vacation places - to relax, unwind, learn new things, go on adventure, go on foodie spree and shopping spree, just to be together... just making sweet memories.  The only difference is, we used to be driven around by our family driver.  This time, my nephew did all the driving... especially that when he let me take the steering wheel, our car flew from the street to someone's backyard! 😬😳😅

As I am 'partially' moving to a new little house outside Metro-Manila (for work), he helped me take care of a few chores such as furniture and appliances shopping, supervising and helping out as the builders add finishing touches to the new house.  I think I will need another year or so to get the house in the shape that I need it to be but, for now, given the urgency of the need for me to be working in the new site, the mere essentials are good.  To run errands for the home is merely an 'excuse' for me.  What I really looked forward to doing today was spending time with my nephew... which I hadn't done in such a long time.  So when he sent that one-line message, "I'll see you on Saturday, Tita," without any sort of introduction... I think anyone can hear my smile from ear to ear in my own one-liner: "Alright!"  Well, uhm, I had to play it cool, y'know.

I missed my nephew.  He is more handsome than I remember - very tall and good-looking in a very casual and relaxed way... and very articulate, too. I didn't realize how mature he has become at merely 25 years... he has a good job, a very good relationship with a wonderful young woman that he loves and who loves him, too... and by all the stories he told me, it seems that his heart is still in the right place - despite his success and a sweet young love that turns a new leaf everyday and that so many people of his age can only dream of.  I am a very proud aunt - totally!  

Sometimes, I think of the days that I might have spent for 'my own personal happiness', which were spent in another way in order that every member of my family would realize their dreams. In days like today, I realize that this is my personal happiness... seeing my loved ones, such as my nephew, enjoy the happiness that they so deserved.  I am just too happy and grateful to God that I could feel this incredible feeling of having my heart swell with so much love, joy and pride.  It feels like an ordinary day turns into something special - soulful and just perfect!

***

Image credit:  All photos in the collage above are mine.

***      

'Lighthning in a bottle'...

 ...is 'a thing'.

========================================

by PAM

"'Lightning in a bottle'... it's about you, Class of 2024.  It's your story...

every step is an eloquent sentence in this beautiful narrative that is your story."

Nope, not yet time for 'Saturday Photo'.  It's just that a few days ago, 18 June 2024 to be exact, I had the incredible opportunity to serve as the Presiding Official at the Solemn Investiture of the candidates for degrees of the College of Tourism and Hospitality Management (CTHM) of the University of Santo Tomas (UST) held at the Quadricentennial Pavilion.  That was my second time to have such an incredible opportunity.  The first time was last year at the Solemn Investiture rites for the UST Faculty of Engineering. 

Just like the first time at the Faculty of Engineering, I had so much fun meeting CTHM's Class of 2024 and their parents - on stage. Although, also just like the first time, I had many sleepless nights days before the event.  I was so nervous, I was unable to eat, sleep, or concentrate at all on even the smallest stuff on my plate.  There were instances when I'd freeze just thinking about what to say in my Address of Concession, and whether I'd be able to say the formula correctly in the Degree Conferment part.  I was so stressed out the whole time.  When the moment came, however, it was heavenly.  

The Class of 2024 is a very special cohort of learners in my University.  They started their freshman year in August 2020 - at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.  They came in on a fully online mode of teaching and learning.  Even their 'Freshman Walk' - one of our most important traditions in the University, which is part of the Freshman Orientation activities, was held virtually as well.  After that, they had to go through a couple of years of virtual instruction.  Very fortunately, my University has a very robust e-learning system.  We have been using Blackboard as our learning management system (LMS) twenty years prior.  Despite that, it was still challenging as we needed to ensure that everyone had stable internet connection, and that they had gadgets with sufficient features to enable them to participate in the virtual classes. It's a good thing that the community spirit in the University helped us overcome the challenges.  It wasn't perfect, but we know that we did everything possible to make the experience of our Class of 2024 as good as the more conventional teaching and learning mode that is only balanced by the use of technology through our LMS.  

A daunting duty... but so worth it!

To capture the essence of our Class of 2024's remarkable resilience in enduring the unprecedented challenges of COVID-19 in a seven-minute Concession Address was such a tall order for me.  So much so that so many times, I felt like I was not equal to the task.  I prayed so hard for the Holy Spirit to lend me wisdom and grant me the inspiration to come up with the right words to say that can sum up the Graduating Class's experience as 'the pandemic Class' so that they (and their loved ones) can all relate, and feel that that was truly their very own special day.  

And then, one night, as I was re-watching the footages of their Baccalaureate Mass in bed, I saw something that sparked inspiration.  It was an image of a group of graduates smiling so happily amid all the lights from their candles and the fireworks above them... their faces seemed to radiate from the light of the candles that they held.  More images later... something 'clicked' in my heart and in my head.  I whispered, "Lord, what are they holding?  It's so radiant... like 'lightning in a bottle'?"  I opened the Notes App on my smart phone... and before I knew it, I had paragraphs after paragraphs of write-up, all revolving around the 'lightning in a bottle' idea.

I started with: "With how your faces shone in the illuminating light from your candles, you appeared like you were holding a 'bottle of lightning'.  Ever heard of that expression, 'catching a lightning in a bottle'?  It's an idiomatic expression that means, 'accomplishing something that is extraordinarily difficult'.  Look it up, it's a thing!  It's a thing because... it's about you.  It's about the Class of 2024.  You all caught lightning and bottled it.  It's your story... and an extraordinary story, indeed!  Because... how does one catch lightning and bottle it, too?  Lightning is a product of electrical discharge between two regions.  It carries a powerful force that strikes in a split of a second with such lethal intensity... much like COVID-19."

And then I proceeded to likening the the light of their candles with 'that Light' that illuminates... the Light that is the Truth, the Light that is God's Love, the Light that is Christ Himself.  The grace they received in their experience as the 'pandemic Class' enabled them to endure that difficult but glorious journey of finding the Truth in all their ordeals.  And in the end, the Truth revealed itself... in the Love that guided them throughout their journey:  The Love from their family, from their teachers and the Thomasian Community as a whole... the Love that is the gift from God... the Love that is Christ Himself.  That Love is the Light that illuminated their faces and hearts in happiness as they celebrated the culmination of their journey at the Baccalaureate Mass.  That illuminating light borne out of that 'lightning' that they caught and bottled, and that they now hold in their hands.  In the future, when they meet challenges in their professional and personal journey, they should not be afraid.  All they have to do is to hold out their hand... open, look down on their palm, and be heartened and inspired by that lightning in a bottle: their own contribution in that beautiful narrative of human courage and the astounding triumph against all odds through love. 

The same is true for us in the University... Class of 2024 is our very own 'lightning in a bottle'.  Their triumph is a reminder that as we did what we did for them - out of love... we, too, caught a lightning in a bottle.  And it shall illuminate our hearts... especially in the darkest of days.

***

Image credit:  All images in the collage above are owned by The Varsitarian - the official student publication of the University of Santo Tomas in Manila, Philippines - thank you for the loan.  The other photo is mine.

***

Friday Night Music with JK and Train...

 ...drops of tears in Jupiter.

===============================

by PAM

Train:  "Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken...?" 

Me:  Yeah, I can... and 

JK:  ..."it's a hard pill to swallow...." 

***

The Grammy award-winning "Drops of Jupiter (Tell me)" is one my favorite songs by Train (of the "Marry Me" fame)... maybe, one of my favorite songs ever, too.  I just love the lyrics... the melancholy that it imparts but sang so beautifully in masked sadness by the brilliant Pat Monahan in a backdrop of easy, uncomplicated, and yet, terrific music that has everything - from dramatic piano to romantic violin to a thumping rhythm section. Here, have a listen...

"Now that she's back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair...
she listens like spring and she talks like June..."

These days, listening to "Shot Glass of Tears" (SGOT) from Jung Kook's debut solo album, "Golden"... I have these nostalgic feels that take me back to 14 years ago when "Drops of Jupiter (Tell me)" (DOJTM) was released. Although the songs are completely different in terms of music, tempo and general appeal... lyrically, there are similarities.  The lyrics of SGOT and the way JK interprets it is in-your-face melancholic.  And it's amazing how JK can make even the lowest register of his voice can sound so melodic... and beautiful, even when he is singing live.  So gifted!  His singing is quite different from Monahan's powered and nicely controlled screeches in DOJTM that show his mastery of his craft.  Here, have a listen...

"She got some dangerous hobbies like chasin' after the sun
and making me fall in love."

Both songs talk about one's fascination... and love... for an incredible woman.  And it's beautiful... both.  The lyrical genius of DOJTM is subtle and sweet, "And tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find? And did you miss me while you're looking for yourself out there?"  So loving and indulging of one's subject of affection... and yet so tenderly longing for some affection, too. It's like a precarious balancing act between selfless love and the quiet desperation for just the smallest hint of reciprocation of one's deep affection.  One can tell that whoever wrote the lyrics (and I'm quite sure it was Monahan), possesses a love that is tamed by maturity.  

SGOT is a bit more juvenile in its hurried desire to let the subject of his affection know of his desperation to be healed by being loved, too: "Need something strong for the sorrow, something strong for the pain so I can wash it away.  I was cold, now I'm freezin'.  Stuck in permanent season, and we both know you're the reason.  I'm not the same as before, I don't feel anymore." 

Both songs are worth spending a Friday Night of music... lovely music - a "soul vacation".  

***

Video credit:  The owners of the videos are indicated in the video themselves.  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

A 'personal tradition' ...

 ...as life goes full circle.

==============================================

by PAM

I think that I already established the fact of my 'shallowness' in happiness.  Simple little things make me happy... the simpler, the bigger the happiness.

Six years ago, 2017, on the same day as today, June 27, I found this wonderfully heartwarming TV movie by Hallmark Movies and Mysteries.  It is titled "Christmas with Holly", and it starred one of my fave Hallmark actors of all time, Sean Faris, who played the character of Mark Nagle, and that versatile actress, Eloise Mumford, who portrayed Maggie. The movie came out in 2012 as a 'Hallmark Hall of Fame' movie but I only got to discover it on YouTube in 2017 while recuperating from a terribly  'jealous of a flu'.  For some reason, that seemingly simple TV movie had an incredible impact on me, and I began watching it every year on the same day that I found it on YouTube.  I never talked about this favorite 'personal tradition' of mine though... until today.

Mark:  "I didn't know anything about raising a kid.

She said you just start

by loving her.

The rest will follow."

It's amazing that, after six years, I still found the movie engaging, touching, beautiful... magical!   

To me, that long-haired Sean Faris in the movie is still one of the prettiest men in the universe, from whichever angle you look at him... uhm, including his back. 🤭😅😂  He also did well portraying Mark - the single guy who lived in Friday Harbor that became an instant Dad when his elder sister, Victoria, who was a single Mom was killed in a vehicular accident in Seattle. He had to stand in as parent for his orphaned niece because he was listed as legal guardian by his sister.  I still think that the twin child actresses (well, child then, that is), Lucy and Josie Gallina, who played the role of six-year old Holly - Mark's niece, were superb.  They conveyed so much emotion even without speaking a single word - amazing acting there! The same is true with the actors who played the role of Mark's brothers, Scott (Dana Watkins) and Alex (Daniel Eric Gold).  It wasn't exactly that Hallmark 'formulaic' TV movie as it did have a wonderful story line that deviated a bit (or, a lot?) from the Hallmark 'cookie cutter' of movie production, and it's great.  This is probably because it was based on the novel, "Christmas Eve at Friday Harbor" by Lisa Kleypas. It is the first book in the Friday Harbor four-book series of the New York Times bestseller author. 

The movie counterpart had all the 'cuteness Hallmark armada': grown-up brothers who all lived in a huge dilapidated house by the water who bantered so comically on a daily basis because that was their way of preventing a deluge of love for each other lest they embarrass each other if they showed emotion; a beautifully vulnerable woman, Maggie, whose heartbreaks made her believe that she wasn't as amazing as she was... until a very good-looking guy with a heart of gold, Mark, came along to give her back her faith in herself by letting her show him how to find his own confidence in himself in raising this child who was thrown off by fate and was groping around, looking for true love to hold on to that only he can give; the cutest of all little girls who was so emotionally broken but spiritually whole because of true and unwavering love from his uncle; and a dog that knows what it wants and knows how to get it!  Simple plot, simple scenes, no deep intellectual points to ponder, no pretentions... uhm, yeah... I know, I've mellowed... and I love it!   

These days, it amazes me that one of my favorite BTS songs, "Magic Shop", which was partly produced by Jungkook, has an almost the same name as the toy shop owned by Maggie,

Magic Mirror Toy Shop. The new shop that Maggie built in Friday Harbor was pivotal in the story because that was where Holly found her inner strength to speak again after her Mom's death confused her so badly it afflicted her with temporary muteness.  She just shut down, and only trusted her uncle Mark, and later, her two other uncles.  When Mark and Holly met Maggie at the ferry, on their way to Friday Harbor from Holly's home in Seattle, Holly seemed to have opened up to Maggie.  It was a slow process of gaining trust and giving trust between Maggie and Holly... until that day when Holly fully gave her trust to Maggie... and to life itself again. Holly spoke again, and her first word was her mother's name, 'Victoria'. The safe and magical environment that Maggie created in her toy shop that encouraged Holly to hold on to the love she was offered was quite similar to the 'magic shop' of BTS for their ARMY... and it's amazing! 

Indeed, this is all that we need in life... nah, not magic. It's love.  It is central to the story... love in many forms... but in whichever form, love's effect is the same - beauty and happiness in life - in all forms.

So, yeah... this is a sweet tradition that I intend to keep for the rest of my life.  

***

Video credit:  Thanks, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, for the video and photos.  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

***

Love begets love...

 ...always.

======================================================

by PAM

It's been more than two years since my kiddos from Class of 2019 in the Faculty of Engineering of my University graduated.  Four of them have taken and passed their licensure examination in the same year.  So, they are now registered engineers under the Professional Regulation Commission (PRC) of the Republic of the Philippines.  As such, they are now employed in various industries, and it is always delightful to hear their updates.  The others who graduated in 2020 have yet to take the licensure examination, but most of them are already working as well.

When I was still in the Philippines, we usually get together virtually as the pandemic prevented us from seeing one another in-person.  I did not expect that, while I'm here in the US where there is 15-hour difference between our time zones (at least, where I am currently located), I would get the chance to see them even just virtually.  In fact, we have not gotten together virtually ever since I arrived in the US.  I am happy though that they did not let 2021 ended without us getting together.  Yesterday (evening of Dec. 30 for me, and afternoon of Dec. 31 for them), one of them organized a virtual get-together via Zoom.  Needless to say, I was very happy to see them.  They have grown... the pandemic sped up their professional and individual growth process, but they seemed to have adapted well.  They remain happy, optimistic and fun people!

In between big news, updates and laughter without restraint, I felt the familiar coziness of friendship and love from all of them despite the great physical distance between us.  It felt good and beautiful, and I thank God once again for these gifts of "spiritual kids" who warmed up cold days with their sincere care and affection, and lit up dark skies with their happy smiles and laughter!  I just love them, and I do believe they love me, too!

***

Photo credit:  I own the three winter photos in the collage while the Zoom photos belong to Keizer Bihasa.

Saturday photo

 

Friendship assures, laughter heals... love begets love.  God is good!

It's been a while since I last saw these kids, given the pandemic.  And, although I often talk to them via online communication platforms - almost everyday with others, it's been a while since I last spoke with them altogether.  So, it was a real treat to meet all of them, albeit only virtually via Zoom meet.  

My kids all looked good.  They sounded happy despite the pandemic, and seemed very excited to talk to one another altogether, too.  Given the week-long high stress level at my (virtual) workplace, and the nerve-racking first two weeks of classes just waiting for emotional explosions here and there due to the challenging situation of holding classes online, given the pandemic and the very limited connectivity of most students, I was so ready for the weekend!  It finally came... and it started with a "Fridate" with these kids.  

It was a very long catching up session. There were a lot of happy pieces of news that everyone shared, and a little not-so-happy news, too.  But there was enough stories to laugh about with all our hearts, and there was enough good things to hinge our high hopes on for better things in the coming days. There was a lot of reminiscing, too.  I didn't realize we have made so much memories together over the short period of time that we became a family.  That sort of warmed our hearts... and it felt very nice.  I was happiest for the longest time, thanks to these kids!  And, thanks be to God for these kids!    

***

Life is good...

...indeed, it is!
===================================================================
by PAM

No, it isn't perfect... but, yes, life is good! And that is so much better!  

The blessings received and lessons learned in the past two weeks had been another huge testaments of how good life is - no matter what!  It can be very challenging and extremely harsh, too, sometimes especially when a blessing is on its way and cleansing is needed to make a room for the blessing, or when a lesson is to be learned - as a source of wisdom to draw confidence from when an important event is about to unfold. The important thing is to hang in there... to cling steadfastly to our faith while hoping for the very best outcome... believing that the best outcome, under the circumstances, shall come our way. 

I know, I know... how dare I 'preach' when I get frustrated so often from all the trying circumstances that come from trying to achieve the 'impossible'.  I get physically tired... I complain, er, vent, a lot, I admit!  I guess that that is alright - I become alright after ridding my system of the urge to scream.  It is the easiest way for me to cope with the pressure, deal with frustration.  But thank goodness that there is enough love around me... to help me through the day, no matter how hard. I have enough. With God, and the gifts of family and true friends that He gave me, I have enough.  And with God's grace, we are bathed in optimism.  Our sorrows are drowned in a flood of blessings.  The cheerful fingers of sun's rays find us, even in the darkest and farthest corner of despair.  And the sun shines, no matter what - even only on TV...

🎶 "I reached inside myself and found

nothing there to ease the pressure off my ever worrying mind...

Touch me. How can it be? Believe me, the sun always shines on TV..." 🎶

What a blessing to have lived in an era of very good music - classic in quality and message, they never get old... and they see you through the hardest of times - to bring a smile to your lips. It's a bonus that the singers/musicians get more beautiful with age... such as this Norwegian band, A-ha - one of my favorite bands in the '80s. When they play, they remind you how good life is... rather than singing melancholy songs or upbeat ones with nonchalant lyrics that underscores emptiness, pushing one farther down the consuming abyss of despair.  

Thank goodness for good music!  Thanks be to God for everything that makes life worth living for.

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the beautiful music.

***

Saturday photo

Happy, and lucky... that's what we are.

It has been a very tough week.  The work was heavy, and the target was challenging... but the results were satisfying... and good.  Well, at least, it felt good - for me, and these kids who also went through the same experience of accomplishing a challenging task this whole week.  And, it felt good that, at the end of it all, I have them to celebrate the week that was... and that they were looking forward to spend some quality time with their Mother #2 the way I was looking forward to catching up with them as well.  

God is good... and so is life.

***

About the photo:  This was taken at the Fisher Mall Cinema in Quezon City after catching up over casual dinner and just before watching the film, "Joker". 

***

Singing...

...from the soul.
==================================================================
by PAM

Yeah, it's been one of those days when the situation is pushing you to sprint, take off... and fly... but your tank is empty, and you're just off 'on a wing and a prayer'.  What to do?  Just keep... soaring, perhaps?  After all, you've got all that you need - a wing... and a prayer.

"Take these broken wings

And learn to fly again

And learn to live so free..."

When did it all start?  Why do people wish to clip your wings... prevent you from flying, keep you from soaring, undermine your courage, put off your fire and feed you to the ashes?  Jealousy?  Nah... they have more than anyone else, especially the ones they wish pinned on the ground with broken wings.  Human nature?  But why... isn't man good by nature... because its Maker is good, and the breath breathed to it by his Maker is one of boundless kindness and love?  As such, isn't it easier to be happy for someone than to be wishing ill of someone because we all are good by nature?  Isn't it easier to be generous and indulgent than being bitter of others' happiness and success?  Love... why not just give love... and kindness - the pair of wings that make the giver and the receiver soar freely and happily?  Ah, perhaps, it's love, too... but sometimes, 'love hurts'.  Perhaps, it is kindness, too... it's just that 'you gotta be cruel to be kind - in the right measure'.

"Today's another day to find you

Shying away

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take on me

Take me on..."

Hmmm... a sweet invitation to love, to be kind - some sincerity, lots of truthfulness, tons of consistency in love and in wanting the same love - over and over again... amid all the trendy impermanence that the world these days embraces and espouses.  

And this song by that wonderful Norwegian band, A-ha, "Take on me"... aah, so timeless - even in this slow rendition rather than the original danceable tune.  And so, I'm totally 'smashed' again! It will take a while - I'd be 'hunting high and low' for some brilliance like this these days, but I am quite sure that the search would be in vain.

"So, I guess I'll be hunting high and low

There's no end to the length I'll go to...

Hunting High and low

Do you know what it means to love?"

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

***

Saturday photo

PROMISE

Love appears

like a beautifully wrapped gift

under the tree on a Christmas morn –

hoped for... yet still surprising, unexpected.

I said it will last.

You said you’re glad.

And it did feel like it would – last, promise...

until the bow worn out, the colors faded. 

The excitement subsided, the feeling waned.

Questions arose, answers ran out

doubts lingered, assurance retreated...

‘beauty’ disappeared.

Should love, in whatever form, be 'a gift'?

Should its value depend on how beautifully it’s wrapped?

Should its attraction be hinged on such visibly awesome beauty?

Should a promise be made?

Doesn’t promise make love an obligation?

Is it, indeed – an obligation? Should it be?

Really?

Promise?

***

Dedication:  To a friend, and this friend's loss.  May coping be bearable.

***

Hello, July!

Good to see you again!
==================================================================
by PAM

My 'birthmonth' started out with a very promising endeavor, in which God blessed me with the incredible opportunity to lead the Faculty of Engineering of the University of Santo Tomas (UST) in reaching a milestone.  On 01 July 2019 (East Coast time), our 'Team Engineering' submitted our Self-Study Reports (SSR) for our six Engineering Programs to the Accreditation Board for Engineering and Technology (ABET) of the United States of America (USA).  The UST Faculty of Engineering is the first Engineering School in the Philippines, and as such, it is a highly storied and historical School.  Therefore, it is incredibly special to be at the helm while the Faculty surpasses this milestone.

But that's work.  Yes, it does make the heart beat double time feeling God's love, and the soul sing with enormous gratitude, but it is still work.  So, let me talk about something else that made me want to sing praises to God because of the happiness that made my heart swell.  While the root from which these gems blossom from is still work, the joyful feeling that they invoke does not resemble the mere feeling of fulfillment from a job done well at work.

***
Being their second Mom...

Let me talk about this instead... because I'd rather talk about this, actually...

"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken

Your best friend always sticking up for you

Even when I know you're wrong?

Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance

Five-hour phone conversation

The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?"

I spent the last two days of the first week of my 'birthmonth' with 'my kids', and it was incredible!  The happiness was real... it was like being lifted up through the air to sit on the cottony softness of 'cloud 9' to watch the stars twinkle happily, and be overwhelmed by the awesomeness of it all.  It felt so good... so good that I just had to post something here - in this little corner of mine - to create a happy place to retreat to whenever life's challenges become too much to bear.  

Last July 5-6, my kids (thesis advisees and future business partners) and I went on Teambuilding/break/mini vacation at the Green Canyon Leisure Farms in Bamban, Tarlac, Philippines.  It was a celebration of the graduation from chemical engineering of five of them, the moving up to the next level towards graduation from the same Program of four of them, and the celebration of my 51st birthday.  The private atmosphere of the beautiful leisure farms was very apt for the bonding moment that we wish to have... to make good memories, and strengthen the bond of friendship and love that brought and hold us together.  The little memento of a video - a small compilation of photos and vide clips from our mini vacation - captured a fraction of the enjoyment and happiness that we felt while spending time together.  I just had to post it here for easy access whenever needed.

I may not have been lucky enough to be chosen by God to bear these kids in my own womb, to give life to them, and bring them into this world, but I feel fortunate that God entrusted them to me - all together - at a time when they are going through this critical transformation, enabling them to fulfill what God plans for them.  It is still very much less than being their mother, but it is enough to make my heart swell from true love.

***

Video and songs credit:  I made the video. Thanks, YouTube, for providing the online platform for the video. Thanks, too, to Train and Simple Minds for the loan of the songs.

***

"Maybe we'll learn to be kind."

"Noah"... a film for the Holy Week.

===========================================================

by PAM

It took five years before I finally mustered the will to watch this two-hour saga of a film from 2014.  I wanted to see it when it was first shown, but the moment I learned about how grim and dark it was, both in storyline and film making techniques, from film critics reviews, I retreated.  I was not ready yet those past years to taint the Holy Week memories I had as a little child with my siblings and our deceased mother, huddled in our little sala, eating home-cooked merienda - mother's concoctions - watching biblical films,

The epic saga that was anything but...
...uhm, biblical?

such as "Noah's Ark", "Jesus of Nazareth" and other children's films, such as those depicting the lives of children saints in Lourdes and in Fatima who witnessed the apparition of the Virgin Mary. I was not ready to blemish those memories with a grim film that could ruin Holy Week traditions for me.

This year, it's been different.  I am trying to decide on something big... and I have been torn between love... and mighty annoyance (hahaha...); several years of inspired service that is begging to be continued until the 'time is right' to pass on the baton to God's chosen successor vs. a barren do-as-you're-told situation, in which I am coerced to abandon dreams and aspirations as a leader and follow instructions without much thinking - for the sake of uniformity just because one believes that uniformity is achieving order, and order leads to success; and sealing a meaningful legacy with a 'sweet kiss', so to speak vs. resuming an 'old affair' with intellectually stimulating pursuits that grow irresistible by the day because of a potentially life-changing experience that will benefit many... plus it leaves time for the self and loved ones.  Yes, it is truly tough... and it is, indeed, requiring deep contemplation.  And yet, it isn't up to me... it all depends on God's plans.  I am a mere servant, and so, I submit myself fully and completely to His will - as before, as now... as always. 

As such, I needed another perspective... while I actively pursued our usual family Holy Week tradition and practice, I thought I'd mix it up with something else - watching a Holy Week-themed film.  And I thought of "Noah" - the film by Darren Aronofsky that starred the fine, fine actor, Russell Crowe in the title role, with Jennifer Connelly (Naameh), Emma Watson (Ila), Ray Winstone (Tubal-Cain), Logan Lerman (as Ham), Douglas Booth (as Shem), Leo McHugh Carroll (as Japheth), and the brilliant Anthony Hopkins (as Methuselah).  But, I was wrong... I did not find utter enlightenment in the film.  I should have listened to film critics, religious and evangelists.  It was a lovely film, yes... if it did not claim anything related to the The Creation in the bible, that is.  The critics, and even Aronofsky himself, are correct - it was the 'least biblical' film there was!  I thought it was merely seeking to make a statement about taking care of planet earth, which was once destroyed because of man's folly, and was made to thrive again by 'The Creator', as referred to in the film, in a 'second chance' covenant sealed with a rainbow.

And yet, the film had its moments.  I particularly like the conversation between Naameh and Methuselah, in which Methuselah justified the impending destruction of all, including Noah's decision to make sure that the existence of man ceases with his family as the last men to live, as part of his obedience to the will of 'The Creator'.  The world must be given a second chance to flourish without the wickedness of man, Noah thought, and which 

Duty vs. love... what is greater? 
Why can't it be duty AND love?  Can they be one and the same?

Methuselah supported.  Therefore, Noah and Naameh's two other sons - Ham and Japeth, must not seek wives to reproduce; and that Shem, who was with Ila, must not be allowed to reproduce either.  Naameh was incredulous.  She said, "I can't believe that's true.  Not when I look at my sons.  All they desire is love.  Isn't that all their hearts need to be good?"

When Ham was visibly distraught for losing the girl he meant to make his wife, and whose death Noah allowed, adhering to his belief that man's existence must cease, Noah explained to Ham, "I'm very sorry about that girl.  And I am sorry for you.  But we have been entrusted with a task much greater than our own desires."  

Father and mother... we see the contrast in this case.  The mother seeks what will and can make her brood happy and good while the father remains steadfast in obedience and adherence to duties - no matter the consequence.  Ah, how we must all be wishing that duty and love are one and the same!

But I do think that the highlight of the film was the conversation between Ila and Noah, when Noah explained why he did not kill the twin daughters of Ila and Shem even when he believed before their birth that he was duty-bound to do so, "I looked down at those two little girls, and all I had in my heart was love."  And so, there it is... duty vs. love, love won!  But with 'The Creator' allowing Noah's decision to keep the twin girls alive, He must

"...it begins again with you."

have meant duty AND love can be one and the same, too.  It was a beautiful moment in the film... and a beautiful realization for the audience... well, at least, this audience.

The treasure of the film poured out in that scene, and it continued to pour out when, after Noah humbly admitted his failure to obey God by allowing Ila's twin girls to live, "I failed Him", he said; and Ila said, "Did you?  He chose you for a reason, Noah.  He showed you the wickedness of man and knew you would not look away.  But then, you saw goodness, too.  The choice was put in your hands because he put it there.  He asked you to decide if we were worth saving.  And you chose mercy.  You chose love."

Ah, there it is... my clue! 

And yet, the biggest moral of the film, I think, is what the emotionally tortured son, Ham, said to Ila as he bid her farewell, leaving the family to live on his own. "For all it's worth," he said, "I'm glad that it begins again with you. Maybe we'll learn to be kind."

So, yes, no matter what we decide to do in this life... we can't go wrong by going for, and going with kindness - true kindness, not self-righteousness or quickness to judge without truly knowing and clearly understanding, or worse, deciding that one's self is kinder than the rest without 'looking in the mirror' first.  True kindness... goodness from the heart that bears positive outcome that is love... and not merely for show nor feeding the ego by being widely liked and being popular.

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Image credits:  All mages above were borrowed from Rotten Tomatoes - thank you.

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Tuesday night movie...

...because the night calls for mindless entertainment.
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by PAM

The last five days have been quite a 'roller coaster ride', wherein health kept getting in the way in getting things done... and it was impossible to avoid annoying individuals who refuse to be team players because their personal agenda is bigger than the Institution's thrust. And what is worst is that when you try to pull them back on track, they 'yelp' loudly and play the 'victim'... and just like that, they divide the Team - the Team built for a long time with tears, joy and common vision... thriving in camaraderie and love.  While

Smiling in optimism regardless of odds.

it is true that the strength of a true Team should not be undermined by one annoying individual, when one's agenda is venomous enough, one strike can 'kill'!  And so, it's been a very toxic five days.

There were saving graces, so many of them, actually, thank goodness! I do love the commitment, and the innocent and sincere thirst for knowledge of my undergraduate students, especially my research students.  They cling to their vision of contributing something substantial to the body of knowledge in our area of research, and they maintain optimism as they look forward for this contribution to be making positive impact on the lives of farmers and other workers in the grassroots.  Yes, they subscribe to the wisdom of bringing Science & Technology to the grassroots... and it simply is inspiring to experience their dedication, optimism and unwavering perseverance no matter how challenging their circumstances are, and no matter how the odds seem to be against them most of the time.  Ah, to be young, idealistic and pure of heart - essential in a beautiful and rewarding life!

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See a feel-good movie, and feel truly good 

But, yes, the staggering 'ups and downs' of the past five days have been emotionally taxing, no matter how huge the happiness dosage that my students provide.  Therefore, time to whip up some mindless entertainment to rid the thoughts of negative elements. So, I went for my trusty feel-good Hallmark TV Movies, and I found this...

"Manhattan is the best, but you gotta manage it.

Move faster, push harder, talk louder.  It's the survival of the fittest here... 

You're cool, Ohio. Just remember, just be yourself." 

The tv movie is called, "Summer in the City", and it stars two actors that I'm not too familiar of: Julianna Guill (Taylor Morgan) and Marc Bendavid (Philip Bartell), with support from the trusty actress, Vivica A. Fox (Alyssa Stone).  Taylor is this talented and smart gal from a small town in Ohio with a lovely personality.  She dreamt of becoming a big player in the fashion industry of New York City (NYC).  While she waited for that dream to become a reality, she worked in a women's clothes store in her town... until this NYC high fashion store owner, Alyssa, walked in.  Impressed by the apparent 'fashion psychic' in Taylor, Alyssa offered her to become the manager of her NYC store, A Line.  Hoping to expand her business, Alyssa pinned her hopes on Taylor to come up with a 'game changing' plan to bring in more customers and investors to A Line.  It was all going good... so much so that Taylor's honest and lovely 'small town' Ohio gal personality was not only winning new customers but also won the attention of Philip, a young realtor who was set to inherit his family's business... although his heart was somewhere else: to own a chain of food trucks, with a menu of his own creations. Being both kind and of lovely personalities, the two clicked right away, encouraging one another to pursue each other's dreams.  It was all going good until Taylor had a falling out with Alyssa, and she decided to go back to Ohio.

After realizing how Taylor was right in her assessment of A Line, and how it should move forward - carrying Alyssa's own designs - Alyssa went to Ohio to offer Taylor partnership in A Line.  Later, with encouragement from Philip, Taylor proposed a business plan to Alyssa that made the latter drop a pending big money agreement with an investor that was about to completely change A Line from a high fashion icon to a store of mass produced cheap clothes but with huge return of investment. Alyssa favored Taylor's proposal over the investor's, and they both work towards the attainment of their common goal.  With Alyssa's encouragement, Taylor sought Philip to admit her feelings for him and accept Philip's offer to bring their relationship to the next level.  She didn't find him in the Realty Office.  Disappointed, she turned away... only to be stopped by a call from the driver of a food truck - Philip!  And they lived happily ever after.

Hmmm... it was a simple feel-good movie, but it was special in that it was well-acted.  The characters are very good people with real concerns, making one realize that one can be in challenging situations and still retain good nature and kindness - a lesson for me, actually.  Taylor's looks, voice and kindness also reminded me of a very good friend of mine back in my days in Cornell University, Julia Fritsch from Brazil... who even have similar name as Julianna!  So, it inspired very good and warm memories... I love it, if only for that!

The verdict:  Instead of being idle and broody, go for it... it'll be worth your while.

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Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video link.

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Saturday photo(s)...

...and love.

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by PAM

Love...
...the antidote to frustration and hopelessness. 

It feels great that when things are not all that good, we have our "go-to" gang to ease the pain from our current circumstances: family and good friends - loved ones... them who give unconditional love... tough love sometimes, but true love nevertheless.

I am so glad I have enough of those. Around them, I do not have to pretend to be someone else, or be desperate to beg for their attention, or to belong to their circle... they welcome me with loving arms. I can bare my soul without reservation, and they accept me - not for whatever title I have or whatever my professional or social status is, just me... simply me.  I can talk to them in the middle of the night... until we are all exhausted and sleep overcomes us. If I need to speak again when we wake up in the morning, they are all ears again...and they know exactly how to make me feel better, even when I don't sometimes.  Of course, I do the same to them when any of them are in a rough spot, too. Together we pray for better times... together we hope and wait for better times... and they hold my hand as we do, and it feels incredibly reassuring.  That's why I know they are God's gifts to me - their touch, their words, their gaze... are manifestations of what I hope and wish to feel from God's answers to our prayers.  They embody my hopes and wishes... and they bring nothing but joy - even in the worst of times.  And, I love them so... I thank God for them every single day. 🙏💖

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Fulfilling a promise...

...because some promises are worth-keeping.
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by PAM

For many years, my heart had been peacefully 'dormant'.  It did some flip-flopping when my youngest nephew, Lucas Antonio, was born more than three years ago, and it felt very good.  He literally lit up my world... well, our family's world, actually. And yet, for some reason, my heart still felt 'tired and old' from beating as steadily as an efficient clock's monotonic tik-tok. The familiar warmth from the love of family that envelopes the heart is comforting and reassuring, but it does not bring the world in a sweet 'chaos', sending the heart a-fluttering as thousands of colors burst before one's very eyes.  The fascination of God's gifts manifested in a rewarding life, both personal and professional, had been heartwarming, too... but it was miles away from the sweet dizziness that one feels as one's world swirls fast, getting thrown off in breathtaking spins that only being in love can bring about.    

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And love came around...

Almost two years ago, something caused the gears to click in my heart... they just did.  And before I could even figure out what sparked that lovely sound of churning 'engine' underneath my chest, there I was, being spun around by a whirlwind of a variety of emotions, mostly sweet and exciting kinds - and it felt good.  Ah, the world - my world - was alive again.  The dark skies were suddenly bursting with colorful a-twinkling lights... so cheerful and lovely, my heart raced like a frenzied llama. A realization struck me, I knew what it was... it can't be anything else. I was in love!   

About two years ago, I fell 'in love' again - with these kind, sweet and extremely lovely kids...

...those lovely faces and, oh-so-pleasant personalities - just irresistible.

After four-and-a-half years of hard toil and stressful daily grind in the Office that made my world oh-so-incredibly-dull, the sun finally shone again in my sky!  These kids brought sunshine into my world... with their kindness and sweet nature, the sincerity of most of them, and their desire to do well whatever the circumstance.  As I get to know many of them... and as they shyly share their thoughts, the more endeared they become to me.  Their sense of humor is irresistible, it just brightens up my day. Their sense of community and solidarity is impressive and inspiring. Some of them are trusting and sincere enough to allow me to take a peek at their souls... those beautiful, beautiful souls! They 'push' me to the 'edge' each time... helped me to see the beauty beyond the four walls of the Office that enslaved me for so long now... and I jumped - fell... fallen... in love.     

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This, I promise you...

One of the highlights of a graduating Class's final year in the University is their week-long International Educational Tour in a country of their choice.  As a show of solidarity with them, last year, I promised to join them, and be a part of this important milestone in their college journey. They chose to go to S. Korea, and they chose to go last week.  Even when I was totally harassed by so many pressing issues in Office that week, I endeavored to free up three days in my calendar - their last three days in S. Korea - but without them knowing it.  They left the country without me, and many of them, including the parents of some, were very disappointed.  

On their third day in S. Korea, after a full work schedule in Office, I went on a 'red eye' flight, which I booked merely 36 hours prior to departure, from Manila to Incheon.  I Arrived in Incheon International Airport at 4:40 am the next day, and travelled for an-hour-and-a-half by bus to Seoul to catch them there on their fourth day in SoKor.  I arrived in Seoul at 7:00 a.m., walked to their hotel from the bus stop with luggage in tow.  I barely caught breakfast in the hotel... and I missed their 8:00 a.m. departure for a tour of Nami Island that morning.   Having been up for about 30 hours straight at that point, traveling for five hours on a fully-booked flight with a budget airline, I was totally exhausted... and was hesitating what to do.  But I had a promise to keep. So, after freshening up, I hailed a taxi, and travelled solo to catch them at Nami Island.  After an-hour-and-a-half, my taxi got to the ferry station, going to the island, just 10 minutes before their scheduled return to the ferry station in the main land.  Moving in a flash, I bought my ferry ticket, and rushed to board the next ferry!

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Promise fulfilled...

They were on their way back when I took the ferry to the island, but their ferry was delayed.  And so, I caught them all at the platform of the ferry station of Nami island!  The moment I got out of my ferry, they were waving, cheering, screaming... just very happy to see me.  But no one was happier that moment than I when I saw them at the gate of Nami Island... fate was very kind to me, it allowed me to fulfill my promise.

These kids are love - the sweetest of all!

The next 36 hours after that were spent exploring soulful Seoul - with my kids.  It was truly special, I've never been happier in years!

A year ago, I made a promise... a week ago, I fulfilled that promise - no matter the circumstance.  And, it felt absolutely good!  I thought it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in so many years.  Love?  There cannot be another reason.  Of course, it is love!

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Photo credits: 
Photo 1:  Loaned by Miss Alyssa Tadeo of UST ChemE Class of 2019.
Photo 2:  Loaned by Mr. Jethero Abesamis of UST ChemE Class of 2019.

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