Saturday evening music...

...because a sweet inspiration came rushing in.
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by PAM


It's that wonderful season again... a season that comes only after every four years: FIFA World Cup!  Naturally, my days and nights (mostly, nights and wee hours of mornings) are full of World Cup 2018 (WC18) thoughts... and musings. 😊  It's exhilarating... disappointing sometimes, surprising most of the time, but overall, it's too beautiful!  I just love it!

But tonight, my heart is totally devoid of WC18 excitement... but I'm excited just the same. One person reminded me of my inclination towards love songs, and the beautiful feelings that they evoke. 💓 Some songs are sappy and oozing with  cheesiness... and yet, for a heart beating devotedly for someone special, only the beauty of the melody, which beats in synch with one's loving heart, is all that matters.  It's like being surrounded by all that refreshing fragrance in a magical garden where flowers bloom in unison with one's love for someone special, and fill the air with scents that match our loving feeling... and it's beautiful, indeed!

When the same person wanted to know what comes to mind when asked about a favorite love song, my mind automatically pointed to "Feels like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk, after scanning years and years of avid fandom of love songs in my head... and heart.

🎶 "If you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought I'd love anyone so much.

It feels like home to me... 

...it feels like I'm all the way back where I come from." 🎶

I absolutely love the lyric!  That sweet realization of how incredibly joyful it is to find 'that one perfect match' whose heart beats in unison with yours... in contrast to the edgy feeling of restrained desperation as one waits for 'the one' with much anticipation... a perfect metaphor for 'home'.  This song captures a multitude of intense emotions... but, they all converge to a peaceful, blissful feeling of loving... and being loved. Beautiful!

But my 'love song buddy' pressed for more!  And, at the very bottom of my heart, I found this one song that has been sitting there for three decades now, burning quietly a light of persistent hope... for a love that will burn an 'eternal flame'.

🎶 "I used to have a wish

one day I'd feel like this

Now I know love exists

'Cause it's standing right next to me." 🎶

It's "Standing right next to me" by Karla Bonoff.  It's too beautiful, it just melts the heart in sweet surrender... to love, isn't it?  While the lyric does not match the passionate tapestry of emotions conveyed by "Feels like home", KB's voice has that hypnotic quality about it that surrounds one with that incredible bliss of being in love, and getting one's strong feelings reciprocated in equal intensity.  It conveys the beginning of a union made in heaven... with a promise that it will last - forever. 💕😍   

So, yes... it is a beautiful evening, indeed - a time well-spent with a kindred spirit who never fails to inspire heartfelt reflection... with lots of humor, and shared interests and beliefs, on the side.  I am absolutely grateful for my 'love song buddy'! 😇💖

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Video credits:  Thanks, YouTube ("Feels like Home") and Daily Motion ("Standing right next to me"), for the video links.

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Sunday morning music...

...to soothe an aching soul.

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by PAM

"Take my hand and gently close your eyes so you could understand

that there's no greater love tonight than what I've for you.

So, if you feel the same way then let go...

...life is short, my darlin', tell me that you love me...

...I'll be by your side, forever by your side."

Those days when things get 'too much', and I just need a 'safe and quiet place' to 'rest'... a place where I can try to find meaning in all the chaos around... those are difficult days.  And, well, today is one of those days.  So, here I am, in my 'safe place'... may God keep me company.

It has been an extremely difficult 45 days.  I felt like getting caught up in a whirlwind... and feeling really helpless and out of breath.  I was just moving back and forth from sadness to happiness in an eye-blinding speed.  The emotions swing from extremes, so far apart and contrasting... but mostly sadness.  Yesterday, sadness just tipped the scale in ferocious 'violence'... and I got thrown off track. It was like hitting a hard wall while moving on great momentum, and flying off the ground like a weightless feather, helpless, desperately trying to find something to cling to, and finding nothing... nothing at all!  It was 'painful'... it felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest, getting smashed against a solid curtain of high-pressure air, and shattering to small pieces - so extremely painful!  No amount of tears can bring and hold the pieces together.  Now, my head aches so badly... and my heart 'bleeds'... gushing 'blood' of extreme, convulsive sadness... and it hurts so badly.  I cling to hope, holding on desperately... but I am slowly being overcome by sadness, I feel like letting go.

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Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video link.

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Word of the day...

'Sadness or displeasure'....

Hmmm... in my case now, it's 'sadness'. Definitely, 'sadness'!  

'Hopes or expectations'....

Hmmm... in this current case of mine, it's 'hopes'.  It's definitely 'hopes'!  I had very little expectations... but I was hoping from the depth of my soul and from the bottom of my heart that, one day, these 'little dragons' under my care who see themselves as mere 'bugs' in a fragrant garden of intellectual haven will finally realize that they can soar up in the sky, and not just hover around a little garden patch... and that they can magically 'spit fire', too!  It's been a grueling endeavor to mend their battle scars and get them to a point when I can finally say that they are ready to own their gift of dragonesque greatness.  I was hoping that that day was today! 

I did my best. I truly, truly did... and I thought I had enough reason to hope for something, uhm, 'reasonable' - a reasonable outcome. No, I wasn't even hoping for anything 'grand', nothing extraordinary, just the most minimal. A sense of responsibility... a little effort to show that the tremendous support received was well-deserved. That this faith that I have in these lovely 'little dragons' is not unfounded... and that the purest of love that I so painstakingly distilled and packed in great density - just for them, was given not in vain.

But no... they chose to be 'small'... little unremarkable creatures with wings flip-flapping miserably like bugs instead... and it's heart-breaking!  

'Sadness'... sadness is what I am feeling right now.  'Sadness', most definitely!

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Image credit:  Thanks, Google Dictionary.

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