"Wake me up...

...when September ends."
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by PAM


I'm going to take a little "nap" here... my system is asking for a "reboot" - it's kinda reached an overload. And, I've been failing to "de-fragmentalize", too... so it kinda reached a "messy" state now, it just keeps crashing.  Of course, people love napping... but not when somebody else does it instead of them - it doesn't matter the countless sleepless nights one had endured to deserve a few "minutes" of a "nap". But who cares?  I've gone deep enough through life now to care about what insignificant people (who certainly regard themselves as significant... but who am I to shatter their illusions?) think.  When people judge you for the little things that you missed, and forget about how you laid down your very life to help them conquer those big mountains, on the apex of which, they now stand, you know they're not worth a hoot of a bother.  So, carry on... nap away!  💤😏

🎶 "Summer has come and passed

the innocent can never last

wake me up when September ends." 🎶

There is nothing that good rockin' music can't fix, I tell ya!  Aw, man... Green Day, thank God for you and your incredible music!  🎸🎶 🎉 And they sound great live, too.  So, it adds tremendously to the whole wonderful experience of listening to them.  A raging, desperate prayer from a very melancholy soul.

And because they sing from the heart, and from the soul, we take another spin, and a serious one at that...

🎶 "Do you know what's worth fighting for...?

...Did someone break your heart inside?

...you're in ruins.

...when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

your faith walks on broken glass...

...nothing's ever built to last...

...you're in ruins.

One, 21 guns

Lay down your arms

give up the fight." 🎶

Dang, too good!  I'm desperate for a conversation with Billie Joe Armstrong right now... "how d'ya know when it's time to give up 'the fight'... and what happens after that?"  Of course, in all his infamous imperfections (and perversion at times, I must add), I expect an eye-roll around heavily penciled lids, before swinging his guitar and breaking into this...

"...make the best of this test and don't ask why

It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable but in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life."

Aw, gosh... it just evaporates the 'blues', doesn't it? 🎻🎶 It's smart, it's wise, it's rockin' fun... just awesome! 🎉🎉🎉 And y'know, no matter how troubled your life seems to be at the moment, luck will come around...

"...you can't go forcing something if it's just not right.

No time to search the world around

'Cause you know where I'll be found

When I come around."

Man, that drums and percussion beat courtesy of Tre Cool... so awesome! 🎶🏆🎉 It never gets old - NEVER for me, anyway.  It's the perfect pick-me-up on a really annoyingly boring time... made worse by an incredible heap of stupidity around.  It just makes you forget about the dreadful scenario when said heap is about to make a 'landfall' to mess up the whole country.  God help us!  

And, it's best on earphones, too - the music, I mean... seriously!  Too good, man!  

🎶 "I walk this empty street

on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

where the city sleeps

and I'm the only one, and I walk alone...

...Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone." 🎶

Uhm, noise!  Energy. Rage. Frustration. Fear. Hope. Perseverance. Wisdom. More hope.  When you're in the middle of chaos, and nothing seems to make sense - from the small-scale to the large-scale issues, how can one not feel solidarity with this band and their music?  Most especially when there's no one around you who seems to get it... just because they are so full of themselves.  I can just listen to this song all day instead... seriously.  That eloquent bassline that holds the 'noise' into one cohesive tune, courtesy of Mike Dirnt, is worth a million bucks.  And he holds the 'noise off-stage', too.  You gotta give it to the man, he's just great.

So, yeah, I'm just here... "napping" - in peace, hopefully... until the "category 5" stupidity  is dissipated by wind shear.  Hopefully, with less catastrophe than expected.  

And, yeah, do "wake me up... when September ends".


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Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

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Happy birthday, Mama Mary!

"Hail, Mary, full of grace

the Lord is with thee..."

If only all mothers were like you... full of love, lives in humility and selflessness rather than self-centeredness, then this world would be a better place.  

These days, many mothers use their kids as "accessories" - only diamonds, the size of a dice, and poreless face are of higher value.  In this age of social media where people can invent their lives in a parallel on-line world, they flaunt their kids as the kids' very existence is 'just a part' of their personal achievements - making a pretty profile pic on social media... which 'should' be far greater than any 'successful' single woman's around. Single women, or married but childless women, are very poor losers whose existence will never be 'complete' - according to our society. They have no one else to continue pursuing and fulfilling their unfulfilled dreams - according to society.  And that's the way it is, the way it must be in a world where women should 'spawn' kids, in whatever and however way, to become 'complete' - according to them, 'wonderful mothers' in this society anyway.  And yet, do they know their kids at all?  Do they know what makes these kids laugh... or cry?  What just broke their hearts?  What just made them all pink and giggly?  What fascinates them?  What are they passionate about?  What makes their hearts beat fast out of exhilaration and awe?  What sends them breathless in admiration?  What they dream about at night, and what they dream of every single day?  What just offended them and made them lose their cool?  What kind of music they listen to, and whose... and why?  What disappoints them?  What frustrates them?  Who just hurt them... just now?  Do they have time for their kids?  Do they even pay attention?

I remember what Khalil Gibran wrote in "The Prophet", a book I reviewed back in High School - when I didn't know any better: 

"Your children are not your children. 

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.   

They come through you but not from you, 

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. 

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 

For they have their own thoughts.   

You may house their bodies but not their souls, 

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. 

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. 

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.   

You are the bows through which your children as living arrows are set forth.   

The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. 

Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness; 

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."

Some points are worth pondering, some are too tentative in referring to God as the giver of the gift of children, and of life itself.  But I do agree that children must be cherished as the most precious gifts from God as they are... and that Mothers, or parents for that matter, should serve as a 'steady bow', the vessel of love, through which these 'arrows' are sent forth to their mission in God's plan.  Wasn't it the Master Himself who gave Mary to us to be our mother, looking upon us from the cross where he redeemed us all (and I mean, 'all', not just what this society refer to as the 'lucky ones' who have been blessed with children) from the bondage of sins?  If God sees all of us as equally deserving of His love, and the love of a mother, why can't we do the same with one another?

Holy Mary, mother of God... where's your Son?  Did He leave our hearts?  Can He not stand the filth anymore, all that self-centeredness that makes us to look at ourselves to be better than others?  Pray for us, sinners... because we need it. 

Too many wishes - for ourselves... when we should be giving you 'gifts' because it's your birthday.  Accept our love, our imperfect humanity... but the very imperfection that your Son came to mend, so we can be worthy again of the Father's love. Hold our hands, dear mother... and lead us to the way of your Son.  May we learn His ways, may we be one with Him in the Truth... the Truth that is God's Love, the Truth that is God.  Amen.

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The Colourfield...

...reminiscin' because, do you remember, September?
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by PAM


Some say 'time flies when you're having fun'... and yet, when days are lousy and dry, you 'sleep it off'... before you know it, time has ran out, too!  And then you begin again.

Whew, August went fast! I just realized that I only had one post here for the month of August this year... and the first day of September will be over in a few minutes, too.  Where did all the days of August go?  I actually don't remember much... but I am sure many things happened within the month.  I guess, I was just rushing from one 'big plate' to another... and I kind of remember, there were many 'ugly' things around.  In fact, I believe many things were quite intense... and I had very intense reaction to each as well... and yet, I tried to keep the rants, grunts and the sighs of frustration low.  And that reminds me of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands in the '80s: "Thinking of you" by The Colourfield.

🎼🎶 "...so walk where angels fear to thread for everything you've ever wanted...

...I could be the one thing left in your hour of need,

so if you decide to change your views, I'm thinking of you.

...we should take a bus to somewhere else, to something new

thank God we're alive and bite off more than we can chew.

Do the things that just don't matter, laugh while others look in anger, 

stumble over four-leaf clovers, and say goodbye to lonely banners!

If you ever think of me, I'd be thinking of you

through thick and thin, I'd bear it and grin

and never give in.

...so if you decide to change your views,

I'm thinking of you." 🎶🎵

I know, if you watched the video without the sound, it could surely be the most stolid performance you could ever have watched in your whole life! And yet, if you listened to the lyrics of the song, my goodness, how so very profound! I love how their fabulous frontman, Terry Hall, tried so hard to look bored... and yet, he can't seem to help making those cute eye-rolls, and giving hints-of-smile... very charming, indeed!

Yep, back in the days when I was at the height of my teenage cynicism and desperately wishing for profundity from my 'boring' environment and circumstance, I absolutely adored The Colourfield!  I felt an incredible affinity with their 'sadder than sad', skeptical, cynical and bored songs... only because listening to their songs then was the safest and most benign way of expressing rebellion, boredom and angst. 😠🎧🎶 Uh, yeah, teenagers then were quite responsible and considerate even in expressing their anger and dissatisfaction, so why should I deviate? 😂 I guess I was aware then that it was just a phase... and there was no point in creating permanent damage to relationships (and to my image lest I become famous someday 😜) while I went through a phase.

Now, I wish I had that 'teenager's excuse'... that I'm going through 'a phase', therefore, I'd like to be left alone so I could listen to 'my sad songs' in peace!  

🎶 "...I really wanted to share forgotten dreams 

go though the motions of loving from afar

and feel as if I'm reaching for the stars.

But each drop of hopelessness amounts to what could be a raging sea

It could be spring time, I'd meet her at the gates

if beauty ever comes to those who wait.

Castles in the air, 

if only they were there...." 🎶

Oh, oh, oh... oh, how so beautiful!  So sad and yet so 'secretly' hopeful, so cynical and yet so poetic, so angry and yet so lovingly tender.  And that beat...  ah, my goodness, whatever happened to music?  Wherever this sort of beautiful concoction of emotional desperation and intelligent play of words have gone these days?  No wonder, people kill themselves when they're sad these days... they do not have these songs to wallow on... and then, the very same songs to inspire them to embrace the sadness of life... because underneath the sad, sad tune is a profundity whose depth and breathtaking beauty is so worth spending our whole lives pondering!  

My goodness, life is good, why waste it?  Why throw it away?  

🎶 "...I kissed goodbye to an ugly youth

leapt off the world and followed you.
...you took my hand and led me to a magic sign
and we found love on a stained glass plate
you touched my head and gave me faith
and said I must be strong in this world of hate.
You kissed my lips and took my breath away." 🎶 

How they can sing about political issues, expressed their views fiercely in an upbeat tune, and made them sound like a love song, too, was impressive.  We used to 'slam dance to "Confession", not knowing exactly how Terry Hall was editorializing the political situation of Great Britain when the song came about.  That's their strength, y'see, when they wish to 'editorialize', they did it in a fun way that left their listeners freedom to disagree with them... and yet, giving enough room to agree - on the dance floor.  They avoided preaching, and were not afraid to look like they were singing with tongue-in-cheek... because they knew they have intelligent enough listeners to know the difference.  

But, yeah, they were at their very best when they offered their listeners a shoulder to cry on.  It was absolutely irresistible then, it's totally irresistible now...

  🎶 "...Why did summer go so quickly, was it something that you said?
Lovers walk along the shore and leave their footprints in the sand.
Is the sound of distant drumming just the fingers of your hand?
Pictures hanging in the hallway and the fragments of a song
Half-remembered names and faces but to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over you were suddenly aware
that the autumn leaves were turning to the color of her hair." 🎶

See, whatever 'misfortunes' I may be experiencing or have experienced before, I guess they are nothing compared to the wonderful experience of finding this band and their music at the height of their creativity.  Their music was inspired... and so, they also inspire.  I didn't always subscribe to the ideas that they offered... but the subtlety by which they stated them manifested respect to their listeners.  And that heightened my admiration.  Every word and note was a treasure... a little pearl that seemed like a tear, the manifestation of sadness... but it was actually a gem - a fortification of the treasures of the seas, hidden in a hard unremarkable shell.  And that further heightened its otherwise understated beauty.

Indeed, 'time flies when you're having fun', thank goodness for classics... and classic memories!

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Video credit: Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

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