Saturday photo

PROMISE

Love appears

like a beautifully wrapped gift

under the tree on a Christmas morn –

hoped for... yet still surprising, unexpected.

I said it will last.

You said you’re glad.

And it did feel like it would – last, promise...

until the bow worn out, the colors faded. 

The excitement subsided, the feeling waned.

Questions arose, answers ran out

doubts lingered, assurance retreated...

‘beauty’ disappeared.

Should love, in whatever form, be 'a gift'?

Should its value depend on how beautifully it’s wrapped?

Should its attraction be hinged on such visibly awesome beauty?

Should a promise be made?

Doesn’t promise make love an obligation?

Is it, indeed – an obligation? Should it be?

Really?

Promise?

***

Dedication:  To a friend, and this friend's loss.  May coping be bearable.

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Friday night music...

...and I mean, the good and meaningful kind.
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by PAM


It's been, uhm... "hell week", as what kids these days would call an extremely grueling week - a "festival of challenges"... the kind that leaves you stuck in frustration, feeling clueless and stupefied, and dead tired, too!  Well, it's been a series of "hell week", actually - for me, anyway.  And I need a little respite to revive this fading, dying soul... and get the spirit soaring - again!  

Let me begin with honesty: just honest, bare music - of pure talent and artistry, defined by depth and insightfulness... not made to sound cute and pretty in canned computer-enhanced mere 'mimicry' of music... and definitely, the artists not made to look like something they are not.

"And you give yourself away...

with or without you... I can't live with or without you."

"And you give yourself away..." to the craziness of this life, to the upsetting inconsistencies and lack of conviction in what people do these days; to all the fakery and artificial 'beauty' that abound in the pop world where many kids live in wishful thinking these days; to all the tutti-frutti colored promises that people make on sand these days; to all the devastating traps of dishonesty and lack of sincerity in what people say and/or do these days; to all that selfish personal agenda that drive people to achieve beyond what is necessary and good at all cost including their very soul...; and to all that's not what this life should be and what life actually is.  

No, it isn't the amount of work that makes my spirit sink... it's all that fakery around, heightened by its soundtrack - the pop music of today.  And I thought music can't get anymore cheap and shallow in vulgar rap, lamentably performed by wanksta... until this "tutti frutti" Eastern Asian music dominated the airwaves... including our own supposedly discriminating ears that can (supposedly, that is) distinguish between hype and music from the heart.  The visuals that accompany music these days - of thin young people with "rearranged", "restructured" and "airbrushed" faces, hair colored and held in place by a blend of chemicals and what have you - advertised as "natural and organic" and yet the very way their hair looks is unnatural and can't be anymore remotely related to organic than a piece of moon rock; and clad in clothes that used to be reserved to dolls living in dollhouses... gyrating and blowing fake kisses while they sing in trapped mouse-sounding squeaks that sadly define the music of today mostly.  

Hmmm... if it's true that music is the language of the soul... I shudder in fevered anxiety to think of the state of our souls these days, given how articulate our current "spokespersons" are.  To whom... or to what did we relinquish our souls?  Ah... I finally understand my late mother when she ordered me and my siblings to take down Madonna's and Boy George's posters from our bedrooms' walls!

And because "you give yourself away" to what is unnatural and untrue, life for you is always lacking, wanting, desiring - to no avail.  And then life becomes tiresome and meaningless... not worth anything... and, therefore, could simply be thrown away... to end in despair... as if there is no love left... regardless of the abundance of true love, just hidden by all the fakery where we prefer to mine for joy these days... in utter failure, of course.  And it's sad... very, very sad. Devastating.

***
If it is true, honest and pure... it can't be marred by hype... not even by time.

"And you give yourself away..."  30 years later.

And that's what 'classic' is all about... well, for me, anyway - for this old dying soul, still 'stuck in the jurassic era' as kids these days would say... just waiting for its time to pass on... and be free from all this tiresome fakery! 

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

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Saturday Photo

And the good harvest continues!
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by PAM

Ever heard of 'low melatonin nights'?  The nights when sleep won't come to you no matter how hard you try to black your mind out? Well, I am having that right now, and I tell ya, it ain't pretty.  Good thing I have this to mull over...

Up there... again.
And it feels... awesome!

Ours is Top Performing School in Registered Electrical Engineers Licensure Examination... again - seven years in a row!  How does it feel?  Uhm... good!  It feels good... it's a concrete outcome of all the humongous efforts - but being invisible, in the backstage... behind that  endlessly flowing veil of tears, where no one can see... where all they see is my 'invisibility'... and others' larger-than-life presence, bathe in spotlight - in center stage.  But do I mind?  With this result?  Nah.  Should I break through that veil and claim a little of what is mine... and have worked hard for?  Uhm... nah.  I know so well that it is a thankless job... therefore, I take none.  I do not consider any of this as mine.  But no one can take away the joy in my heart... that is mine, and mine alone.  The knowledge that I have done my very best, and with no personal agenda to protect and to put in front of service... of serving these kids, and of serving God. And it all translated to this - dreams becoming reality, wishes coming true... and many, many more like this.  I couldn't ask for more.  At least, not right now... except for a little sleep.

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