Fulfilling a promise...

...because some promises are worth-keeping.
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by PAM

For many years, my heart had been peacefully 'dormant'.  It did some flip-flopping when my youngest nephew, Lucas Antonio, was born more than three years ago, and it felt very good.  He literally lit up my world... well, our family's world, actually. And yet, for some reason, my heart still felt 'tired and old' from beating as steadily as an efficient clock's monotonic tik-tok. The familiar warmth from the love of family that envelopes the heart is comforting and reassuring, but it does not bring the world in a sweet 'chaos', sending the heart a-fluttering as thousands of colors burst before one's very eyes.  The fascination of God's gifts manifested in a rewarding life, both personal and professional, had been heartwarming, too... but it was miles away from the sweet dizziness that one feels as one's world swirls fast, getting thrown off in breathtaking spins that only being in love can bring about.    

***
And love came around...

Almost two years ago, something caused the gears to click in my heart... they just did.  And before I could even figure out what sparked that lovely sound of churning 'engine' underneath my chest, there I was, being spun around by a whirlwind of a variety of emotions, mostly sweet and exciting kinds - and it felt good.  Ah, the world - my world - was alive again.  The dark skies were suddenly bursting with colorful a-twinkling lights... so cheerful and lovely, my heart raced like a frenzied llama. A realization struck me, I knew what it was... it can't be anything else. I was in love!   

About two years ago, I fell 'in love' again - with these kind, sweet and extremely lovely kids...

...those lovely faces and, oh-so-pleasant personalities - just irresistible.

After four-and-a-half years of hard toil and stressful daily grind in the Office that made my world oh-so-incredibly-dull, the sun finally shone again in my sky!  These kids brought sunshine into my world... with their kindness and sweet nature, the sincerity of most of them, and their desire to do well whatever the circumstance.  As I get to know many of them... and as they shyly share their thoughts, the more endeared they become to me.  Their sense of humor is irresistible, it just brightens up my day. Their sense of community and solidarity is impressive and inspiring. Some of them are trusting and sincere enough to allow me to take a peek at their souls... those beautiful, beautiful souls! They 'push' me to the 'edge' each time... helped me to see the beauty beyond the four walls of the Office that enslaved me for so long now... and I jumped - fell... fallen... in love.     

***
This, I promise you...

One of the highlights of a graduating Class's final year in the University is their week-long International Educational Tour in a country of their choice.  As a show of solidarity with them, last year, I promised to join them, and be a part of this important milestone in their college journey. They chose to go to S. Korea, and they chose to go last week.  Even when I was totally harassed by so many pressing issues in Office that week, I endeavored to free up three days in my calendar - their last three days in S. Korea - but without them knowing it.  They left the country without me, and many of them, including the parents of some, were very disappointed.  

On their third day in S. Korea, after a full work schedule in Office, I went on a 'red eye' flight, which I booked merely 36 hours prior to departure, from Manila to Incheon.  I Arrived in Incheon International Airport at 4:40 am the next day, and travelled for an-hour-and-a-half by bus to Seoul to catch them there on their fourth day in SoKor.  I arrived in Seoul at 7:00 a.m., walked to their hotel from the bus stop with luggage in tow.  I barely caught breakfast in the hotel... and I missed their 8:00 a.m. departure for a tour of Nami Island that morning.   Having been up for about 30 hours straight at that point, traveling for five hours on a fully-booked flight with a budget airline, I was totally exhausted... and was hesitating what to do.  But I had a promise to keep. So, after freshening up, I hailed a taxi, and travelled solo to catch them at Nami Island.  After an-hour-and-a-half, my taxi got to the ferry station, going to the island, just 10 minutes before their scheduled return to the ferry station in the main land.  Moving in a flash, I bought my ferry ticket, and rushed to board the next ferry!

***
Promise fulfilled...

They were on their way back when I took the ferry to the island, but their ferry was delayed.  And so, I caught them all at the platform of the ferry station of Nami island!  The moment I got out of my ferry, they were waving, cheering, screaming... just very happy to see me.  But no one was happier that moment than I when I saw them at the gate of Nami Island... fate was very kind to me, it allowed me to fulfill my promise.

These kids are love - the sweetest of all!

The next 36 hours after that were spent exploring soulful Seoul - with my kids.  It was truly special, I've never been happier in years!

A year ago, I made a promise... a week ago, I fulfilled that promise - no matter the circumstance.  And, it felt absolutely good!  I thought it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in so many years.  Love?  There cannot be another reason.  Of course, it is love!

***
Photo credits: 
Photo 1:  Loaned by Miss Alyssa Tadeo of UST ChemE Class of 2019.
Photo 2:  Loaned by Mr. Jethero Abesamis of UST ChemE Class of 2019.

***

Saturday photo(s)...

...on a Sunday because the sweetest of memories won't wait.

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by PAM

'Love begets love'... 

...from which, hope floats, and kindness springs eternal.

Kindness can be very stimulating. It nurtures the heart's 'soil' to sustained fertility from which love springs... and flourish to a breathtaking beauty.  Such is my experience with these kids - my kids.  Eversince I met them, they have been my constant source of inspiration and joy.  They augment my daily supply of love from my family and old friends, and they make me feel so blessed, indeed.  

They may not be the most 'accomplished' kids among their peers, whatever the definition of 'accomplishment' these days may be, but they have the purest of hearts. They are honest, sincere, kind, humble, peaceful... and very loving. That is why, just being around them brings so much joy.  While their kindness and their being unassuming may be viewed by some as 'weakness' and lack of motivation to succeed, they are wrong.  These kids have the strongest of characters while always seem laidback rather than intense in what they do. They are resilient. Even in the face of the worst adversary in life, they stand proud and strong... but with the most disarming candor at the same time. They have the most beautiful dreams and vision of their future, not just for themselves but for their loved ones as well... and they set out to accomplish these in the best way possible - with honesty and integrity... just 'fair and square'.  They don't cheat, and they don't step on other people's toes.  They don't think ill of other people - even those who did them wrong.  Their faith in God is seen not through praying loudly and flamboyantly, nor by posting religious stuff on their social media pages, nor by seeing to it that they are visible in places of worship.  Their faith is seen through the goodness of their hearts, manifested by how they treat others - which is with kindness and respect. 

One day, when the influence of schooling starts to fade, when grades are no longer the sole basis of one's worth... when their characters are the major wind that blows on their sails in their respective professional practices, their true greatness shall shine forth.  And I will be the proudest of all of them! 

In the meantime, I pray that they'd have very good reasons to keep smiling about... and giving each other reasons to stay optimistic and happy.  May God bless them - always.

***
Photo credit: Taken by a staff at Shakey's Pizza Parlor - Vertis North. Thanks!

***  

IWD2019

It's not just about being fearless...
...it's also about being true to one's passion,
being real to one's true love no matter the impediment.

When I start feeling like I'm doing what I do for the sake of keeping myself from being idle is when I know, I'm just spinning my wheel rather than getting anywhere, really. The extreme case is when I feel like I'm merely toeing a routine... just surviving day after day, not really living. And yet, that isn't the worst possible scenario. The worst is when I know I could do more, but my surroundings limit what I'm allowed to render to accomplish the task... just because I'm a woman. And the ultimate worst is when I am prevented from venturing into the 'unknown' because men patronize me, believing I am not strong enough to handle what 'danger' might be up ahead. And when I choose to go ahead anyway, it's mightily annoying when men just watch, and wait for me to crumble and give up rather than working alongside me, treating me as a worthy teammate who can carry a significant weight of the 'load'. What a waste of precious time, energy and emotion to have to prove my worth before these unbelieving men give me the time of day. 

Then again, perhaps, these very same men are not to blame. They might have experienced dealing with women who resort to hysterics, or  worse, break down to pitiful pieces, when things are tough or rough. And so, they stereotype.

Whatever the limitations set by the society on what women can do, it should not stop us from chasing our dreams... because anything that our mind can mold to a vision will always be doable. And if it sets our souls 'on fire', I believe that's God saying, "it can be done... because it is my will".

And so, we persevere, we venture into the 'unknown'... we trust our instinct and ourselves. We jump in, and we hope and pray for the very best!

***
Image credit:  The featured photo was taken by one of my sisters during our family's summer escapade this year at the Bogus Basin in Boise, ID.    

***

Throwback Thursday...

...because the time calls for it.
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by PAM

Oh, boy!  February is about to be over, and March is about to settle in!  And yet, here I am, still working on January-February stuff... even when I sleep very little, and rest has been more scarce these days!  And yet, it's a case of "so, what's new", really! 

All the sleepless nights have been messing me up... I've been getting sick, I feel I'm getting uglier by the day, and looking so much older than my actual age - seriously.  And I've been losing my sense of humor, too... not that I have considerable sense of humor to actually lose though.  But that's the trouble, y'see, whatever little sense of humor I have is disappearing - fast.  It's been quite miserable, sad and funny all at the same time!  But, of course, I am capitalizing on the 'funny' part... and thriving on it - well, as much as possible... and focusing on the faces and voices of the people around who matter more.

To reverse whatever can be reversed, and convert misery back to happiness, I wish to remind myself of what I was like ten years or so ago... of how optimistic I was of life and its beautiful surprises, and how exciting every single day was - because that was how I chose to view it!  This set of photos from ten years and two months ago kind of mirror that indefatigable positive outlook...

...when life's curve balls can't throw you off.

     
There was always enough reason to smile happily about... regardless of the prevailing situation.  I bet there's plenty of reason still today to smile about.  I just need to use the right lenses, take the right perspective, and adopt a constantly positive attitude. And I need to pick out grains of wisdom from the sea of 'junks' around, especially in the social media... focus on the meaningful goal in front of me, be inspired by the joy that their attainment would bring to many people, and set out to conquer them - powered by prayers that are uttered sincerely and wholeheartedly, and propelled by sense of mission and the heartfelt desire to serve... and serve well!  

I think all of this is called love... and being hopeful and faithful to God.  I'm glad that I have kindred spirits among my family and close friends, and these kids whose goodness inspires this sweet inclination to the beauty of life.  


***
Photo credit:  Thanks to my sister, Beng Marcelo, for these photos. 

***

Joy...

...there is nothing but joy!
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by PAM

Sometimes, no matter how bad you feel - physically, because of sickness, when your heart

is happy and full, and your mind is filled with nothing but beautiful thoughts, despair has

'Love begets love'... or so they say.

no place in your being.  Your body fails, but your spirit keeps soaring... coaxing the mind to ignore the pain, and surge in fruitful activity instead, constantly willing the heart to beat in unison with the pulsing of the brain - happily, joyfully... alive and well!

Such is my experience over the past two days. The body is on its way to an unstoppable decline, suffering from unquenchable thirst - for rest, for respite no matter how brief.  And then, warm messages, so loving and thoughtful, fly in... they are a reflection of the exact same affection that I feel for those who sent them.  And, it feels real and true. 

I became certain then that sickness will be beaten... and that life goes on - for now.

*** 

Valentine's Day 2019...

...is a 'sunny' day! 
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by PAM

Happy Valentine's Day to all! 💘😊🎉

The day is filled with the warmth of sunshine... and that beautiful feeling of loving, and more so... of being loved. Ah, Valentine's Day, you are, indeed, worthy of all the hype!

What makes the gift special are the people who give it, and...

...most especially the shape of their hearts. 

Sunflowers are rarely given on Valentine's Day. Well, at least, sunflower is not the 'classic' Valentine's Day flower gift... although, I must admit that, in my book, it is one very special flower - for all seasons... and reasons. But as a Valentine's flower... perhaps not. First of all, it is yellow, rather than red, which is the color of the

Thanks be to God for Happiness!

heart, passion... and love.  And yet, when there is so much optimism and good cheers in the love - of any kind and form - that binds people together then the sunflower is the most suitable one to symbolize heart's day. Scientifically speaking, sunflower seeds contain mono- and polyunsaturated fatty acids that are good for the heart. 😜😅 In the same way that a 'sunny disposition' symbolized by sunflower sustains true happiness that makes the heart 'swell' and more capable of loving, and accepting love. As such, I feel absolutely blessed to receive sunflowers on Valentine's Day from the very same 'kids' whose love brings out the best in me; from whose love my days thrive over the past year-and-a-half or so... at least, they give me enough reason to keep going these days - no matter how difficult to put one foot  in front of the other to keep moving forward.  No, I have not been counting the days really, because when love is true, it knows no boundaries - real or imaginary... not even time nor place. It just is. And, it's sweet, and it's absolutely beautiful! 

***

Video of the day

Something educational - for a change, even when the headline of this blog reads, "just (almost) never about work", and I work in the education sector.

"...we're seeing large concentrations of carbon dioxide accumulate in the atmosphere
each year.  This is contributing to the long-term trend of rising global temperatures."

***

Video Credit:  NASA via National Geographic website - thank you.

***

Friday Night Music...

...because it's been a while.
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by PAM

It's been an unbelievably challenging week.  Good old plain "grueling" doesn't cut it... it's too 'benign' a word to describe a physically toxic but spiritually fulfilling past seven days.  I don't think that a few hours of not-a-care-in-the-world lie down would do anything to get this poor old shell of mortality back to good-enough-to-go-on state, or to get my spirit that is still soaring up above from incredible state of bliss. Oh, boy!

I need music!  Some rockin' tunes that do not bust the eardrums... fast enough to get attuned to this spirit on cruise mode, with straightforward lyrics but coy enough to keep the imagination going but prevent the mind from overthinking; and soulful enough to soothe this aching shell of a body that's badly beaten and intensely in pain.  There is only one genre that matches my current need for soulful entertainment... and it's country music!  Nope, I am normally not a 'country girl', but lately, my music subconscious has been gravitating towards this storytelling tunes that are so easy to listen to.  And this song caught my attention a few months ago... and I find myself humming it to calm the nerves when the going gets tough.  It's "Play it again" by Luke Bryan... man, I didn't even know who Luke Bryan was until very recently!  I got interested in his songs because they sound like this...

 

🎶 "The next Friday night, we were sittin' out under the stars

You should have seen her smile when I brought out my guitar

She was like, 'oh my God, this is my song

I've been listening to the radio all night long

Sittin' 'round waitin' for it to come on, and here it is'...

...and she said, 'play it again, play it again, play it again'..." 🎶

Isn't that fun?  You can totally imagine how this pretty little thing unknowingly lassoed this guy's heart, and the poor man was an instant captive by his own heart's fall... and willingly, too, in the end!  And it's beautiful that all that lassoing and falling are all within the duration of a song.  It's too good... you just want to fall in love, too!

Ahh... the muscles are untangling, and relaxing now, and it feels ohh, so good!

So, let's do another Luke Bryan, shall we?  How about this... a song that men should listen to... because if they're real, this is how they should be treating their girls, "Crash my party"....

🎶 "If you wanna call me, call me, call me, you don't have to worry 'bout it, baby
You can wake me up in the dead of the night; wreck my plans, baby that's alright.
This is drop everything kind of a thing.
Swing on by, I will pour you a drink.
The door's unlocked, I'll leave on the lights
Baby, you can crash my party anytime...." 🎶

Hmmm... that sounds good, too, isn't it?  But let's move on to something newer... and younger, shall we?  I pick this, "Hello Beautiful" by Noah Schnacky.

🎶 "Hello, beautiful, beautiful...

I got your name, and I got your number

We sat for hours, talkin' to each other

But one night, just wasn't enough

We were all in, fallin' in love...."🎶

And you thought kids should be singing pop songs... but here we are, a young fine man, singing country.  So, yeah, I'm a fan.

Alright, I think my mind, body and soul are all ready for some serious rest... I think the week's worth of work earned me some... and I'm gladly claiming every minute of it! 

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the loan of the music videos.

*** 

Saturday Photo + QOTD + Nostalgia + Foodie...

...to make up for lost blogging time.
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by PAM

On communicating feelings, and the connections we make with other people and places in our travels through photographs...

"Travel through the five senses....
What if we talk about how traveling - getting outside ourselves, can...
...touch our hearts (through photographs)?"

- Ethan, 'One Winter Proposal', a Hallmark TV movie

             

My first trip to Italy two years ago, around this time of year, was one of the most unforgettable trips I've taken in my life.  I got to visit Rome, Bologna, Florence, and this charming little town called Cesena, nestled in the Emilia-Romagna Region, in 10 days.  I travelled alone... and I met many people along the way.  They made my journey extra-special... and thoroughly enjoyable - absolutely memorable!

One of the people I met was Cristina.  She was the the owner and Chef of that lovely little restaurant along Via Emilia Ponente, Trattoria Zita, where I had my very first meal in Bologna. Of course, the meal was excellent... and so was the service, and the traditional Italian experience of enjoying eating. Clad simply in understated Italian classy style, complete with olive green apron, the beautiful Cristina met all diners at the door with her lovely smile and warm greetings of welcome. She was very helpful... suggesting food gently and thoughtfully on the menu that her diners might enjoy, especially first time Bologna visitors like myself then.  She had that gift of getting people comfortable and at ease - even those traveling and dining alone, like myself then - telling interesting stories about the Trattoria, its history, and some trivia about Bologna. In our little chatter, while she herself served me with freshly baked bread, butter, cheeses and spices, and as I perused the menu, I learned from her that she was the grand daughter of Zita - the namesake of the Trattoria. Most of the classic recipes of the Trattoria was from Zita, and they simply add to the list... sometimes, using suggestions from diners from different places in the world.

Later, having learned that I am a foodie, she took me to have a peek at what goes on in the kitchen.  I saw how they made their own pasta, tortellini and various signature sauces.  For a first-time foodie visitor of the world's food capital, it was an unforgettable experience, of course... and I will always treasure it in my heart.  In the photo above... Cristina's smile is beautiful, freely and very generously given.  She didn't only touch my heart, but she dug a little cozy space in it for Bologna... and I will always guard and keep it beautiful with warm memories.

*** 

As 'good' as Good Friday...

A cry for attention... help? 

"Sometimes, all they really need is just a little hug." 

I remember a doctor saying that when I found myself lying on a narrow bed at the Emergency Room of a hospital, surrounded by a bunch of students in their own narrow hospital beds, in various stages of physical and emotional torment - mostly the latter, judging from how their faces were contorted by pain that no doctor or nurse can seem to repair with their 'magic touch' and 'magic potions'.  It was one of the peculiar experiences that international students such as myself that time contend with... living away from home, family and close friends, and not having enough support system in exploring that 'wild vastness' where knowledge are buried, waiting to be unearthed with sweat, blood and tears!  But I was ancient... and those students were young... fragile and vulnerable, even as they exude confidence and grit.

Kids these days... they tire easily - from what they do, from all the noise around them, from what's demanded of them, from what's expected of them, from all the happy photos that they need to take and post on social media platforms, from all the posts that they're expected to 'like' and affix a heart to just in case they get left out... from 'life' itself. And yet, is this what's life have become now? A story on an e-wall? A story so eye-catching and jealous-worthy of a life... that does not breathe. And in one heave of a desperate gasp for breath - for life... the 'story' crumbles, and its owner unmasked... revealing a death so 'blank' and empty... a death so unworthy of death itself because it did not know life in the first place?!

But what does one do when a cry for help comes howling in the sad silence of night... echoing one's own silent desperation?  How does one reach out to comfort another... when all one desperately needs is the same comforting, too... no matter how little, no matter how meager... just an ounce of comforting touch to lend a spark of life?  What if 'good old sleep' is no longer enough... to mend a life that deteriorated so badly to mere survival... fading so sadly to mere existence?  How does one keep a strong façade to prod others to keep going when, inside, one is so empty from sheer exhaustion, too - physically, mentally, emotionally... while the spirit struggles to keep the heart beating in a fair semblance of life... against one's hollow chest.  

Drowning. How does one stay afloat against the smashing waves and violent current?

Help.  Is there help... at all?

***