Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Blogging…

… without the bludgeoning of circumstance!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


Some people ask why I don’t blog more about work-related stuff.

Why, indeed? Well, it’s because I am against thinking about work whenever I sit in front of my “personal computer” to blog or to visit my favorite social networking site – Facebook – to relax, unwind, and connect with friends in the cyberspace.

Not so long ago, after learning how my health was being adversely affected by too much stress from work, I resolved that I will give myself relaxation time EVERYDAY and it will NOT involve work in any way! I will work hard every single day, but when I leave my workplace for the day, I leave work right there and will be back to it in the morrow. I will not bring it with me at home, and if I did - for some compelling reasons, I certainly would not sleep with it! :)

Blogging for me is a much needed break from the pressure at work – it’s a relaxation activity, therefore, it shouldn’t involve work. It’s a way to disintegrate myself from the “professional harness” for a little bit and think more freely… and even loosely, like a “normal” human being, and still trying to be responsible that what I blog about would not be detrimental to my professional life. In other words, when I blog, I’m just “Philip” and not Prof. Philipina A. Marcelo, Ph.D. - yes, I am putting a distinction between those two, too... no matter what the Education Law says! ;)

In the classroom, while I enjoy talking about Daniel Bernoulli’s equation in my Fluid Mechanics lectures, usually allowing myself to go on an inviscid "academic trance" - allowing my soul and parts of my heart to show themselves - while discussing its applications using a few episodes of Star Trek as illustrations... in my blogs, I’d rather talk about Yiruma’s music and how it is beautifully punctuated with the glory of falling in love! In the lab, while the various functionalities of whey proteins continue to leave me in awe that they usually make me lose my sense of time, I’d much rather talk about prayers and wishful thinking in my blogs – they keep my ideals intact and renew my positive views on things, which are always in danger of erosion given the enormous "shear stress" at work. In the University, while I am very vocal about my opinion that teaching and research must be pursued with equal sense of responsibility, and that I believe that those who insist that a profession in the Academia only involved coming to class from 7:00 AM to 4:00 PM, teaching with 20-year old lecture notes - and that’s it - are underserving of their tenure... I’d much rather talk about Bella Swan’s one true love – the beautiful Edward Cullen – in my blog! Why? Because there are things, like love and hope, that I’d rather feel more abundantly in my private life… which are scarce in the workplace. And, maybe they should be, too, actually?! :)

Come to think of it, perhaps it's only the admin part of my job that really constitute the irritating harness, and the rest constitute natural inclinations. And yet, while I try to fulfill my responsibilities in the workplace with much reverence for my profession and for sincerely caring about people and institutions that depended on it, it isn’t the same professional experience that I'm looking for. Nevertheless, I stay where I am right now - for now - because I love my profession and the university that I serve, especially the students - they are brilliant, but most of them cannot afford the more expensive places that promise cutting-edge education. And because luck has afforded me such an experience, I thought I could bring it to them. I’m still hoping that change would come in my present workplace - for the students' sake, and for the country's sake... and when it finally does, I know it’s going to be a meaningful one. In the depths of my soul, I know that that is going to be soon enough. And then, I will move on... freedom will finally be mine! In the meantime, the contradictions make up the “professional harness” that can sometimes drain one’s energy... but I don’t have to let them drain my energy. This is why, when I leave my workplace, I choose to surround myself with the emotional sustenance and joy that one only gets when he or she is “normal” and carefree, not restrained by the harness. And so, I write about other things... the more substantial things, which my soul yearns for – in earnest - to strengthen my shield against frustration!

Some may argue that if you liked, or loved, your profession then whatever you do would never be about (hard)work. While that is generally true, it may not necessarily apply to everything about work – there’s always a few exceptions, even trade-off, I think. For instance, I love teaching… it brings me indescribable joy to see how my students’ faces lit up everytime something seem to make sense for them in my lectures - it makes all the hardwork of preparing for a lecture so worth it… but grading papers is a torture for me, and having to deliberate whether a kid fails or not is an unbelievable torment! Also, while it brings me happiness and sense of fulfillment to be envisioning a great future for my workhome, making plans to make it happen, and executing the plan – no matter how hard, and sometimes against all odds, too – and seeing it through to the finish line together with wonderful colleagues, it annoys me to be dealing with smug, uncooperative, narrow-minded and complacent people, especially when they wouldn’t even explain themselves… they just wouldn’t cooperate, and that’s it! I try very hard to remind myself, convince myself even, that all the negative attitude is nothing personal, and merely due to lack of exposure and experience to draw wisdom from... making them fall into the ugly pit of complacency without realizing, in uber smugness and utter ignorance, that they did! This shouldn't bother me too much, except that when they go down, they bring the whole workplace down with them! And therefore those who knew better should keep striving to be extra patient... and keep going, just to balance things out and keep the place afloat. But sometimes, frustration gets the better of me, too...

Oops, aggravation! STOP!

See? This is precisely why I don’t blog about work! ;)

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Thursday, April 1, 2010

The river flows in...

...YouTube!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo



No, I don't live in a cave or something... in fact, I live right in the heart of a modern and among the busiest Megacities in the world today! I'm some kind of a techie, too, but for some reason, I haven't really caught the YouTube fever until recently... I guess, I simply wasn't the YouTube kind of a person, and I can't explain why not either when (almost) everyone who has a computer and internet access is hooked to YouTube somehow these days... and I have two laptops and a netbook, and am usually on-line, too! =) Although it's the lamest excuse, I'd say, it's probably my crazy schedule... or my aversion to anything where respect for intellectual property rights and/or privacy is not crystal clear? But I came across a video of the extremely talented Yiruma playing "River flows in you" on YouTube, and it turned me to an instant YouTube believer. Hot, hot... hot!

The music is absolutely beautiful... I love the varying melodic texture and the swing of emotions that it invokes. It's just lovely how the melody starts with some sort of uncertainty and doubt, going back and forth... and then somehow finds its rhythm and picks up to a seemingly unstoppable surge of powerful emotion... and flows beautifully to an astonishingly sweet melody that I'm pretty sure can only be inspired by love... and falling in love. The melody then rushes to amplify the feeling and the sweetness in the air where its waves touched it. While the sweet melody brings you achingly close to touching love with the very tip of your finger, feeling it, tasting it in the air around you, the melody slows down so painstakingly... once again doubting - to a point of vulnerability... looking for answers to unknown questions, asking for reassurance. And then, with another surge of energy, defiance and musical emotion, the doubt is overcome... and the music again flows towards the sweetness of loving... and then it turns tender and peaceful, but so full of conviction... so sure of its course, so sure of its intentions, its wants and its very existence... the fervor to carry the melody home to its sweetest conclusion is almost tangible, the rush almost sweeps you off your feet - absolutely exhilarating! Like the sincerest of whispered prayers, the music then slowly plays, as if one is professing love and devotion to a beloved. And then it picks up to a joyful cadence of victory... and then slowly, solemnly, it winds down to a breathtakingly tender and oh, so beautiful finish. It just leaves you breathless and wanting for more, and you just can't help yourself - exactly like falling in love!

Yiruma is such an incredible talent! Watching him play "River flows in you" via YouTube, made me think it's so ridiculously sweet how his unlined face still contorts - obviously, emotionally taken - at various points in the piece when he must've already played it a million times by now! As if the beauty of his music wasn't enough, how he throws his body backward, or leans forward, or tilts his head to the side until it touched his shoulder to contain the towering waves of emotion as they impact his soul is just totally beautiful to watch! Hmm... if one could only embrace a melody. Oh, well....

Alright, Steve Chen, Chad Hurley and Jawed Karim... here's an extremely late confession: I hate you for your extraordinary genius that makes most of humanity - especially my kind - feeling like idiots ;), but thanks for your vision, and your boldness to turn it to reality that is YouTube. Now, I can watch Yiruma anytime of the day... and savor the sweetness of falling in love again and again, too! :) And, if only for that, I think that in spite of my hatred for you, I'm a big fan! :) I don't know how that could be possible, but hey, you guys are the genius ones, so go figure! :)

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Photos: (1) "Two for the Lake", taken at the Seneca Lake (Geneva front) in Geneva, NY (October 2005); (2) "Sail-fish", taken at the Cayuga Lake in Ithaca, NY (May 2007).
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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Power retreat...

...is a bliss!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


Who was it who said that 'sometimes the most beautiful places we can find are in our minds'?

I love it when I could just retreat to a far away place in the middle of a crazy day, shielded from the glare of dark thoughts and ill vibrations around... recuperating from the deep stabs of disappointments with comforting little sighs of prayer... pausing for a moment just to savour the sweet embrace of dear silence... blocking the chaos, allowing the mind to go momentarily numb from frenzied, energy-zapping glee... resting the mind in one precious moment of peace... gently rocking back and forth to the peaceful rhythm of calm heartbeat, delighting quietly in sweet memories... tasting serenity with clean, crisp air... a thoughtless stare on a blank space, or better yet, closing the eyes and letting the gentle rays of the sun caress the face, renewing life with their warmth... clear sky, just listening to the murmur of the wind as it dances and swirls around the fine feathers of a bird's wing on a flight... gulping the sparkling bliss of rare tranquility – priceless!

Annoyance, why do you exist? Sincerity, where do you hide? Freedom, why are you so elusive? Retirement... what is taking you so long???

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Photo: "Target" taken at the Seneca Lake (Geneva front) in Geneva, NY (October 2005).

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Milestone...

...how exhilarating! But how fleeting....
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


I have a thousand and one deadlines to beat... but today, I decided to devote a few minutes to write something about a remarkable experience from last week, specifically last March 10, 2010, before all the excitement fades to oblivion.

By some stroke of luck and a lot of help from the Director of the University of Santo Tomas (UST) Research Center for the Natural and Applied Sciences, Prof. Cristina A. Binag, Ph.D., I seem to have slipped through the “Dangal ng UST” (Pride of UST) Board of Judges eye-of-a-needle scrutiny, and found in my hands that beautiful wooden trophy decorated with the seal of the University and the bronze statuette of the Dominican friar, Rev. Fr. Miguel de Benavides, O. P., who founded UST in 1611. The trophy was designed by J. D. Delos Santos, the former Dean of the UST College of Fine Arts and Design. It was definitely a milestone in my career as a faculty member of UST. It sent my spirit flying to the beautiful tropical summer skies and got my soul singing magnificent tunes of joy. All of a sudden, all the pains of the past how many months from my fierce struggle to keep things together and sane for myself in my workplace vanished... replaced by an awesome feeling of exultation of the purest kind!

Looking at the remarkable achievements by those who held the beautiful trophy before me, I was absolutely humbled by the experience, it made me doubt whether the experience was real or just a dream. I haven't ruled out dream, actually! The specific award was the “Gawad San Alberto Magno para sa Natatanging Nailathalang Pananaliksik sa Agham at Teknolohiya”. It was given for the chapter I wrote with my former professor and Chair of my Ph. D. Special Committee in Cornell University, Prof. Syed S. H. Rizvi, Ph.D., in the “Handbook of Membrane Separations: Chemical, Pharmaceutical, Food, and Biotechnological Applications". The Handbook was edited by Anil K. Pabby, Syed S. H. Rizvi and Ana Maria Sastre, and published by CRC Press, Taylor and Francis Group. The 35-page chapter was entitled, “Applications of Membrane Technology in the Dairy Industry”. It covered the evolution of membrane utilization in the dairy industry that led to innovative processes and products that revolutionized the industry to what it is today. The host of contributors in the Handbook is quite formidable... from some of the most prestigious academic institutions, industry leaders and research institutes in different parts of the world. Trying to be in the same league was tough... it was a lot of heavy toil. I didn't even come close to being 'almost there', but the pain was absolutely worth it! I am thankful to Prof. Rizvi for helping me take a peek at the world where only the most accomplished men and women in science and technology reside. There is no way that I could deserve a membership card as of yet, but the J. D. Delos Santos trophy is a symbol of hope for me. At least, the little scientist part of me could hope. :)

Dangal’s theme this year is “Gurong Tomasino: Daluyan ng Kagandahan, Tambuli ng Katotohanan at Lundayan ng Kabutihan”, which, in the words of Prof. Lilian J. Sison (Dean of UST Graduate School) who chaired the Board of Judges this year, “extols the hallmarks of Thomasian Teacher – Beauty, Truth and Virtues”. Just like the previous years, the event was held at the San Martin De Porres Cinematorium at the UST Faculty of Medicine Building. And just like the previous years, the faculty members were dressed up nicely – just one indication of the prestige of the event for the Thomasians. And, as icing on the mouth-watering cake, I received the symbolic trophy from two of the most accomplished and most respected women in UST today: Prof. Clarita D. L. Carillo, Ph.D. - Vice Rector for Academic Affairs and Research - and Prof. Binag, who was also a recipient of the award and several other national and international awards for her works as a scientist. Just being on the same stage as these two women, with Rev. Fr. Rolando V. Dela Rosa, O. P. - Rector of UST - and other illustrious members of the Thomasian Community watching from the front seats of the storied Cinematorium, was already a staggering honor for me. Oh, oh... btw, somebody handed me a white envelope, too! :) Truly, there really is such thing as luck! And maybe, out of boredom, fate decided to throw some my way that day... and I can't complain.

I went home that day, physically tired - and painfully so - from trying to endure the unbelievable punches of heavy work for the past how many months, but spiritually energized by the experience. My soul reached out to the One whose mercy is endless and let my soul sang Him a heartfelt prayer of gratitude. I know that this gift is a sign for something... I’m still figuring out what that is, unsuccessfully so far. But I’ll figure it out somehow. In the meantime, I’ll stick to doing what I’ve been doing... a reliable source of constant joy, that one that brought me this prestigious honor so unexpectedly: conscientious service with humility, propelled by passion and good intentions, inspired by love and faith. I am certain that I will keep faltering and failing - hard sometimes, that's for sure - but hopefully, He’d grant me the wisdom to see what He wishes of me this time... and hopefully, with His grace, I’d find the courage to fulfill it.

In the meantime, hmmmm... I know I’ll be having a grand celebration with my family soon, not just for the award but for several other most wonderful gifts that members of my family received... but I wonder, what can I gift myself with the content of my white envelope??? :) For sure, shopping is in order... soon! Or maybe... a spring or summer trip to a place I miss very much, with a beloved one whose company I long for so painfully... that place where my heart resides, where living with heartfelt smile every second of every single day comes as easy as 1-2-3... okay, 1-2-3-4, actually! :) But because of my messed up priorities - that ironically enough brought me a J. D. Delos Santos trophy - I'm not sure if I'm still welcome there though.... :( If I am being honest to myself, I'd say I only have enough room for one trophy of this kind in my life, unexpected as it was... and that's it. Really. And that's precisely why that moment was a milestone for me... because of the realization that came with it. The experience was undoubtedly exhilarating and absolutely fulfilling - both professionally and personally, yes... but absolutely fleeting! Because, alas, while the moment was indeed special, there are things that are far more important and far more filling for the soul as far as I'm concerned... such as heartfelt smiles and the warmth of a place where one's heart resides. They urge the heart to keep beating, inspire hope for better things, and make every moment of this life worth living for... and as easy as 1-2-3-4.

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Photo credit:  All the photos in this post belong to me, although taken by someone else who gifted them to me. I reserve the copyright as owner of the photos, and they may not be used for purposes other than in this blog.

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Saga of Twilight... and the Eclipsed New Moon

…will dawn ever come? I sure hope so!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


I confess… I've been having fun - and I am not sorry! It's holidays for cryin' out loud! :)

Part 1: The Seduction

Edward Cullen may call Bella Swan his “personal brand of heroin” and Bella Swan may call her best friend Jacob Black her “personal sun” when the gloom of darkness sat in after Edward momentarily left… call me shallow if you want, but I'd call this phenomenal “The Twilight Saga” a devout bookworm sucker for romance’s pure ecstasy! Indeed, reading Stephenie Meyer's “The Twilight Saga” is exactly that… and more… even for a bookworm like myself whose sucker-for-teenage-romance circuitry has gone rusty after getting confined much too long in the ‘dark side’ – the ‘grown-up world’! =)

It really was my sister’s fault… she tuned in the TV to some movie channel when that phenomenal vampire flick “Twilight”, which I initially condemned as just another cheesy romance made interesting by some broodingly handsome rebel-looking English guy with a white-as-a-chalk make-up and a dangerously gorgeous go-ahead-and-stare, uhm, stare, was playing… and then hid the remote control!

The second installment to "The Twilight Saga" movie series, “New Moon”, was playing in the cinema that time. And so, I must admit it was a great advertisement ploy: saturate the viewers’ curiosity with the tsunami that devoured the cinemadom in 2008 to a point of surrender… and get them filling out seats in the New Moon–infested movie theaters! Slumped tired on the couch from some painfully boring “grown-up stuff” – a daily sentence in the 'dark side' – I resigned to stay motionless for the next two hours and be entertained by whatever was playing on TV. I let my mind go numb and sat very still and watched… which is the very essence of the “idiot box”, right?

Unfortunately, the movie was already almost halfway through… and so none of the things I was seeing was making much sense. I couldn’t make much sense out of two teenagers lying on a bed of grass and pretty spring flowers in a magical meadow, staring sullenly at each other like there was no tomorrow! A supposed ordinary-looking (but, actually lovely) girl with a pout and blank stare that made one wonder what she was thinking as she focused on the mesmerizingly beautiful creature beside her - yeah, that English guy with a dangerously melting stare - was all I saw. My mind struggled out from the self-imposed coma, which had me sighing deeply before saying disgustedly, “what lunatics! And I thought this was a vampire movie!”

And so, despite my planned surrender to boxed idiocy, I gave up. I summoned whatever strength I had and hauled my butt out of the couch and went surfing the internet instead! I opened my browser… and bam! “New Moon” this, “New Moon” that! I sighed, opened my inbox as fast as I can, and surrendered to the ‘dark side’ once again - work. I thought that was the end of it.

Sleep-deprived for the past five months from all the preparations for the 16th ASEAN Regional Symposium on Chemical Engineering (RSCE) – my Department’s biggest project as of yet – while teaching full-time and taking my Department’s driver’s seat, I came home dead tired once again. My sister was munching some chips in front of the TV with her hair down and her feet up… I was so jealous of her relaxed stance that I let myself collapse in a chair in front of the TV and reached for a bag of Cheetos myself. I was too tired to chew, and so I let the humungous cheese coated puffed dough pieces melt in my mouth and focused on the TV screen instead. Not even the extreme saltiness of the puffs could awaken my dead tired senses, and then.... oh, no… not those teenagers in the magical meadow again! But there they were… yeah, staring at each other like there was no tomorrow! And then, the screen moved to another scene before I could summon the strength to get up… whoa, what was that?? The English guy smiled – beautiful, beautiful! I mean, to-die-for BEAUTIFUL! Hmmm… to-DIE-for… this must be a vampire movie afterall! Before realizing what I was doing, my feet were up on the table in front of me, munching Cheetos vigorously, more aware of the salt that assaulted my taste buds! =)

Two more minutes, and I learned that Isabella Swan or Bella… was the name of the expressionless girl. Edward Cullen – that’s the name of the excruciatingly beautiful creature, the one that smiled with an alluring mystery, and talked in a low drawl that left any feeling female tangled in a hormonal frenzy… age notwithstanding – trust me! ;) And, that's only because the creature was a he and he’s the vampire, too. Clink, ting, cling, pling… I can almost hear the rust falling off from my sucker-for-romance circuitry, as it swang to full gear! Two more minutes, and I was gasping, “wait… Edward is a vampire?? But I thought Bella is a normal mortal? Why is he with Bella then? I don’t get it….” All of a sudden, I was on a first name basis with the meadow kids! =)

And then, my phone gave an attention-catching noise – text message. What now? The ‘dark side’ beckoned once again… work. I squirmed at the coercion… but gave in, dang! I stirred and disentangled myself from the trance that the Twilight meadow kids put me into, and went to try satiating the greedy mouth of the monster in the ‘dark side’.

A couple of days later, the 16th ASEAN RSCE finally came to a conclusion – a satisfying conclusion, I must say… there was a reason to celebrate! So, after recovering a little from lack of sleep, I came home one evening with an intention to finish a huge bag of chips… transfat or no transfat, in front of the TV. And I had just the best trance-heavy idea to celebrate! I switched the TV on and hurried to the movie channel using the remote control. There they were… the meadow kids… and the movie’s just started, too. Lovely!

The movie picked up somewhere in a High School building scene. Looking at the beautiful creature, who happened to be the vampire in the movie whose name I found out a couple of days back as Edward Cullen, sitting relaxed in a high school cafeteria with an enigmatic half-smile – vampirishly seductive! Right there and then, I had a sweet feeling that it was going to be a good night… I munched Cheetos puffs as vigorously as I’d never done before! And it’s just about right. Ping, cling, ting… mama mia, of course, I was hyperventilating! :)

Needless to say, I was taken by Robert Pattinson's portrayal of Edward Cullen. He looked painfully handsome enough to be a "seductive" vampire… and his moves, stares, half-smiles and tone are appropriately brooding for a "broodingly handsome" vampire, too. As Stephenie Meyer herself said, "he looks beautiful and dangerous at the same time," or something along that line. I think he is credible for the mysterious Cullen… if not a little bit too camera-conscious in some scenes, and a bit clumsy when he jumped. :) Kristen Stewart, on the other hand, is just a little bit too tentative in her acting in some scenes, and too eager in others, to be entirely convincing. In my opinion, she lacked the appropriate expression for the supposed eternally pondering and serene Bella who usually loses grasp of her wits when subjected to Edward's mere presence. Stewart seemed to equate pouting/frowning to pondering, and blank expression to Bella's ability to keep her thoughts to herself. Her clumsiness, which was supposed to be endearing was distressing, simply because she looked quite athletic, agile and self-assured for a clumsy girl. :) It was hard to believe that Jessica could dare crossing swords with Stewart's Bella at all - she looked intimidating! And, I thought Bella's sarcasm was supposed to be hilarious… didn't come out that way with Stewart's Bella. Don't get me wrong... not saying Stewart wasn't a good actress, because she is... just that her portrayal of Bella didn't come out the way I expected it, based on raves I heard about the books. Her performance made Pattinson own the screen all throughout the film… which was not really a big problem to me, to be honest! :) Okay, to be fair to Stewart, maybe I wasn't paying enough attention - to her. Maybe, that's it, actually. :) Maybe, if I watched the movie again, and paid her enough attention, I'd be impressed by her, too. It's just that Robert Pattinson totally worked the camera... and the director seemed to have totally let him do it. Again, not a problem to me! =)

While there is much to be desired in the direction, overall, the film was decent. There were well-shot scenes that seduced the viewer to go deeper and understand the build-up of emotional connection and mutual attraction between the melancholy mortal girl, Bella Swan, and the mind-reading posterboy of a vampire Edward Cullen. Edward’s interest in Bella started from a fascination for his inability to get to her brain and her blood’s overpowering scent that drew him to her at a level so unfathomably strong. The trust rather than fear that Bella started to feel towards Edward – the deeply mysterious, bordering supernatural for her own human wits to comprehend – and the pull of vampirish lust for blood that later replaced by a wanting so strong, it was almost an obsession by Edward for the self-proclaimed ordinary girl, Bella, were quite absorbing. How these intricate emotions later entwined and blossomed to a love so unique between them, was quite beautifully captured in some scenes.

How such unlikely romance unfolded to a deep connection that can only be true love was not self-explanatory to the audience at all… at least, not to me that time since I haven't read the novel then. And so, it lures one to swim in the mysterious waters that was the movie and try to decipher it… and ending up quite satisfied, too. All of a sudden, the magical meadow scene made sense to me! However, how Bella would not lighten up even under the spellbinding love she and Edward had was quite odd, and the film never offered an explanation either… and so, I made a mental note to read the book. Uhm, actually… the whole series - all four books, yes!

There were "extras", too. The scenes when Edward let down his vampirish guard – to the point of almost vulnerability – showing Bella his vampire
abilities and "vegetarian" way of life, not to mention, formally introducing her to his family (what vampire does that??), and Bella’s unwavering devotion to Edward despite the unsettling details of his dark secret were quite engaging… the shots could have been a little bit better though, I must admit… and if Stewart had the right expressions, it would've been perfect.

The baseball game played by the Cullens during a thunderstorm, where their adversaries appeared for the first time, was quite fascinating - one of the best parts of the movie, made even more engaging by Muse's music in the background… vampires having ‘clean fun’ – so extraordinary! Then again, the Cullens were "vegetarians"… if that wasn't extraordinary, to begin with, I don't know what else is. With all the endearing closeness of a family, not to mention, urbanity and sense of style, like Bella, you’d start feeling strongly for the Cullens as well… maybe, to the point of desiring to be one of them. For Bella though, becoming a Cullen is just a plus… the real gift is being with Edward. Can we blame her? Not really… no, not at all, if you ask me! :)

Towards the end of the film, overcoming their adversaries, and even their very nature that made them and their worlds so different from each other, tested Edward and Bella’s devotion to protect each other and stay with each other… forever.

Part 2: Bitten

After watching the “Twilight” movie in its entirety, quite naturally, my sister and I found ourselves in the cinema the next day watching “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”... and quite naturally, it was my treat! :) I was even prepared to pay her to come with me actually! Not that I might have needed to offer her either... she made me, turned me into an "overaged" fanatic - introduced me to the meadow kids, for cryin' out loud! =)

“New Moon” is a different story altogether… well, in terms of pace and absorbing mystery, or the lack of it, compared with “Twilight”. So what was it again… after Jasper's not being able to contain himself when Bella bled after sustaining a paper cut during her 18th birthday celebration at the Cullens', and attacked her in a moment of frenzy, Edward and his family left Forks to protect her? That in spite of their love for each other, they belong to two different worlds that wouldn't reconcile - at least, in Edward's immortal mind… and that nothing, not even their love for each other can make their lives come together? That his presence constantly put her in danger, and that he wanted nothing else but for her to be safe and happy? And that means him removing himself in her life? Hmmm… (yawn).

After Edward left, (the cinematic) Bella’s tendency to be melancholy was pushed to the limit… it was unbelievably, uhm… melancholy!! :) I guess anybody (or, should I say, any female, or female at heart?) who had seen “Twilight”, whose biggest draw, let’s admit it, was Robert Pattinson's Edward Cullen, can empathize with Bella though… hell, I can! Edward was on screen for less than half of the movie’s length for crying out loud… it was almost distressing! I found myself, shifting uneasily in my seat, waiting for his return! I was almost pushing Bella to go for those “extreme adventures” that seemed to get Edward talking in her head just to see Edward’s face on screen… it was torture, I tell ya! It made me dread reading this book in the four-part Twilight Saga series!

The Jacob-was-a-werewolf bit was, of course, interesting despite its seemingly abrupt unfolding… but for some odd reason, I was craving the urbane Cullen family on screen, especially their best looking posterboy. And, it was almost torture that with 2/3 of the film rolled, my craving was not being fed! Insanity! The Bella-Jacob romance angle seemed to go on and on and on for me, and wasn’t even taking a nice shape either! Although, of course, Jacob had a nice shape (woot-woot)! Obviously, Bella needed someone to lean on after Edward left. Still, it was hard to believe for me, even for friendship’s sake, that Bella could actually replace Edward with Jacob - the guys are (supernatural) worlds apart… unless, of course, she’s decided that the werewolf anomaly is more appealing than the mystery of the vampire world. Sure, sure… Either way… dang, what’s wrong with this supernatural-magnet of a chick? She loses a vampire boyfriend, and the next thing you know she's in the arms of the nearest werewolf??? Seriously! Anyway, I still thought it wasn’t fair to Jacob to be the spare tire or a brace to Bella's crippled heart… but then, wasn’t he asking for it though? Uh, ooo-kay, it’s either I have become a diehard… or maybe the film was effectively affective afterall! =)

Hmm… okay, I know that by being constantly on-the-look-out for Edward Cullen's every appearance on screen, I wasn't being fair to the people behind the film. Come to think of it, I really think that the direction and editing were quite good and that the werewolf/vampire effects were quite cool, especially the chase scenes between Victoria and Jacob's pack of wolves - a lot of nice shots and great color mix actually, and very good music, too. The post-production crew was obviously paying better attention to details, compared with that in "Twilight" as well. For instance, that part when Edward, Bella and Alice were being led by the Volturi guards to see Aro, Marcus and Caius - the royals of the vampire world - along a snaking hallway... whenever Edward steps into tiny little spaces where the ray of the sun peeped, his skin would glitter in split seconds. Although I'm pretty sure that not everyone would notice if it didn't, the post-production guys were obviously obsessing on tiny details. I like the lighting, too... it constantly emphasized the varying emotional textures in the film... and it brought and connected the characters together in the scenes that their cinematic interactions were very effective. Nice touch. But I think that the big problem was that the Director seemed to have concentrated more on making an obra maestra, forgetting about the "pop mob" that the Twilight series was supposed to satisfy. I, for one, didn't go to the cinema to see a Chariots of Fire-ish movie - there's another time for that... I was there to see some vampire cuteness and grin-inducing wolfy bravado for cryin' out loud! Of course, you can't go wrong with some great cinematography and editing, which "New Moon" thankfuly had. But discounting Edward altogether was not a good idea, I think. To be fair though, Kristen Stewart did a great job with her facial expressions in "New Moon" - she got most of it right, this time - absolutely impressive... even in her most melancholy state... or, maybe I paid her enough attention this time. But then did I have a choice though considering Edward Cullen was missing in action half of the time?! Taylor Lautner took himself too seriously though as Jacob... he wasn't as half funny as the supposed funny Jacob based on excerpts of the books that I managed to look at before going to the cinema! Okay, the abs con biceps situation was unbelievable... but, hey, so what?? He's too melodramatic for the supposed funny Jacob!

Speaking of melodrama... one thing led to another, and Edward was made to believe that Bella committed suicide. He himself didn't see much reason to go on and decided to end his existence. He set off to provoke the Volturi to destroy him. I started paying full attention to the movie once again when Alice - Edward's endearing adoptive sister - and Bella took off for Italy to rescue Edward from the hands of the Volturi. And then, lo and behold… Edward Cullen was back on the screen with a vengeance – shirtless!!! =) Gasp… his royal hotness was back! All of a sudden, the cinema was on fire! Didn’t I say, affective?? I knew it… the Twilight Saga’s attraction is all about ‘EC the vampire’… embodied in that beautiful English thing called Robert Pattinson! But, dang, what was Chris Weitz doing, making the terrible Felix thrash Edward like a pillow??! Like Edward didn't have the littlest vampirish fight in him?? Obviously, Weitz had no love for Edward! Just look at how uhm… when the vampire, the werewolf and the distressing damsel were together on screen at the end of the film, the usually self-asssured Edward looking like a weepy wimp and oddly unattractively pale beside the hulking Jacob, even when Bella already shooed Jacob away by choosing him, Edward? Hmmm… seemed like the "New Moon" film people were desperately trying to keep the fandemonium away from a single character, and focus instead to the story and how the three main characters' lives will be entwined more beautifully in the next installments of the Saga…. It looked like they were trying to even out the playing field between the vampire and the werewolf, which was tilted deliciously in favor of the vampire in "Twilight"... to the point of making Edward appear like a wimp! It's almost obvious, Chris Weitz is with "Team Jacob"! =)And, naturally, this made me more curious about the books.

And this, my friends, led to my strengthened resolve to read "The Twilight Saga" four-book series by Stephenie Meyer! And so, I did… averaging 32 hours per book during the holidays… and, yeah, I did eat, showered and slept like a normal human being, too, within those hours. In less than a week, I was done… bitten without a doubt!! I mean, incredibly, totally, happily bitten!

Let's get on to "Eclipse" now, shall we? I've got this feeling that it's going to be so much better than "New Moon".

Part 3: "Twilight": the euphoria of being a 'Newborn'

"Twilight" is a beautifully written romance novel, in spite of the tone of pop lit that rang all over it. Call me old fashioned, but I still think that beautiful romance novels should be written with the subtlety of the classics - passion on fire in the inside, subtle utterance outside - stirring all sorts of emotions in the reader. Anything less (or more?) than that is Mills & Boon to me. :)

Nope, it wasn't a chick lit, uh, in the traditional sense, not that I have anything against chick lit either… it wasn't just a teenage angst-filled all-cutesy story either. The charm of "Twilight" lies on the very personal tone that Stephenie Meyer used in her narration… a true classiclike tone without trying very hard. No excruciating overanalysis of conflicting emotions that spoonfeeds and numbs the mind of the reader either. It sounds rather spontaneous and sincere. As Robert Pattinson himself described it, "it was written in a very personal tone, it sounded almost like it wasn't meant for publication." Count on the English artist - that one who breathed life into Edward Cullen himself - to break it down for us so beautifully like that!

To be continued…

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Bizarre Triangle

...on a bizarre day.
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by Philipina A. Marcelo

The day that just ended was rather bizarre for me. I’ve been sick, so I spent the day at home. I was planning to take it easy and sleep all day… but, instead, I was drawn into a dramatic three-way tug-of-war among my favorite me-time activities: watching sports (most of the time tennis), reading philosophy, and admiring photography.

On the blue corner: Rogers Cup was on… World #1, Roger Federer - the newest dad in the tour - was not exactly just working out in the second round; two former World #1, Juan Carlos Ferrero and Lleyton Hewitt, were battling it out to advance to the third round; the 2007 Rogers Cup champ, Novak Djokovic, was hanging on to dear life in the second round; UK's #1, Andy Murray cruised to the third round while Nikolay Davydenko struggled to get past his opponent; and defending champ Rafa Nadal began his much awaited comeback in the tennis scene since falling in the semis in Paris this year through the men’s doubles. Bizarre that seven of the very best of today's men’s tennis were out there, on the blue hard court of Montreal, doing their thing - drama por drama - so early in the tournament!

On the white corner: I’ve been so mesmerized by my former student Michelle Pangilinan's photographs of the white sand beaches of the Philippines. From the nearby Puerto Galera beaches of Mindoro, to the cheerful clear waters and dramatic sunset of Boracay, to the enigmatic and captivating beauty of Camiguin Island beaches, to the crystal clear waters, nestled in beautiful green islets, of Coron, Palawan – totally drowning! It was bizarre that, out of 493 friends, my mouse should take me to her Facebook photo albums... when my eyes were watering from intense fever.

On the gray corner: Ah, those gray alleys of philosophy coming to an intersection with economics and social issues… there could only be one point of intersection: Amartya Sen! There he was, in his quiet and dignified Nobel Laureate form, sitting on the set of "HARDtalk" no less, talking about his new book, "The Idea of Justice". Hah... so that was what it was like to watch philosophy... I've always wondered. Bizarre that one of the people I've appreciated from a distance and now beginning to admire as an Academic role model should come for an interview on one of my favorite talk shows on a day when I can actually watch it with undivided attention! But what's bizarrely upsetting was that Stephen Sackur, Sen’s fellow Cambridge alumnus and Harvard guy, was not interviewing him! Where's the joy in that?

Speaking of bizarre… people have been wondering all day about a Russian cargo vessel that left Finland en route to Algeria that “seemed to disappear on the face of the earth”, as per BBC news anchor's amazed declaration. Before this, I was lulling myself to sleep on Discovery Channel's Extreme Engineering feature story on "aerodynamic (cable suspension) bridges"... reiterating structure reinforcement to withstand wind. I heard keywords (or catch phrases?) like "natural excitation limit" and "synchronous lateral excitation"... uh, yes, pertaining to bridges.

Bizarre day, I tell ya!

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Photo credits: (1) Roger Federer: I grabbed from the Rogers Cup website (2) Bulabog Beach, Boracay, Philippines by Michelle Pangilinan.


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Thursday, August 6, 2009

No words...

... only enormous and innermost grief.
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Thank you, Madam President. You were a woman of courage, love, steadfast faith, unwavering commitment to democracy and moral leadership... and we are your people. We will never forget.







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Saturday, July 25, 2009

The day of the birth

A celebration of life…
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By Philipina A. Marcelo


July is a special month for me… because it’s my birthmonth! :)

On my birthday this year, I felt very fortunate and so blessed to have received a number of very touching messages… the kind that I wish I’d get as eulogy. It seems sweeter to get them while I’m still up and about, trying to run the last miles to the finish line. They make the final dash to the finish line all the more exhilarating!

Although all messages were very special, I received one that I just know will serve as my rally chant while I try to complete this painstakingly beautiful, absolutely marvelous, insanely hilarious... and sometimes painfully sorrowful... but definitely joyful marathon along this scenic path called life:

God is life

Forever is measured
not by years nor months
but by moments that inspire life’s unfolding.
And moments are bounded
not by space nor time
but by meanings too fragile for human knowing.
To live and love
each present moment
in its utter meaningfulness,
only then can one be immortal
and hold close to one’s heart
the secrets of eternity.

Happy birthday!

And I had one, too, thanks... especially that Roger Federer won his record breaking 15th singles Grand Slam title on the day I celebrated my birthday with my whole family (see photo)! :)

Indeed, it feels like I have been re-born, given a new set of spectacles to view life from a new and refreshing perspective... while I marvel on the finish line emerging in the horizon.

So... race you to eternity? :) Naah, I prefer a leisure walk... but I'll see you at the finish line. All roads seem to lead that way anyway....

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

It’s human nature…

A grief-stricken fan say goodbye to a legendary artist that helped define her teenage life.
======================================================
by Philipina A. Marcelo


Just a week ago or so, I was watching cable news with a story about Michael Jackson’s 50-performance “This is it” tour, which was set to kick-off at the O2 arena in London in two weeks time. Just like all news about MJ these days, it was peppered with all those pedophile and extreme weirdness tales, plus a good serving of stories about his supposed gigantic debts and personal troubles… very little on his music and his phenomenal achievements. If I weren’t following the Iran story, I would’ve pressed the “off” button in my remote control! I winced and sighed through the whole story.

On Friday, June 25, at 8:17 AM (Manila time), I was still trying to get a good night’s sleep off my eyes when I received a text message from my sister saying, “Hey, you know what, Michael Jackson is dead!” Recalling the “weirdness stories” on cable news some days back, I waved the text aside with a sigh and jokingly texted my sister back with, “Good for him! Now his troubles are over!”

I got up and automatically switched on my computer while I did my morning rituals and made myself coffee. I sat down in front of my computer and went on-line… my browser automatically took me to MSN. A banner of a headline dominated the page. It was about the passing of a pop icon. Somewhere in the headline, I saw “Michael Jackson”! I blinked and gulped my coffee in one go – this might be a nightmare! The hot liquid burned my lips and throat, and I yelped, “aaaaawww!” All of a sudden an “Aaaww”-peppered music that accompanied me from childhood to adulthood filled the room, and my hands started to shake. At that point another sister stormed into my room and said in an I’ll-be-damned panicked voice, “you gotta see the news – quick!” I followed her blindly to her room and flopped on the seat in front of her TV, which was tuned in to CNN. I saw the grim look in the usually composed, if not cheerful, face of Anjali Rao and my heart started to beat fast. And then, I saw images of grief-stricken people frantically running around the UCLA hospital, and a current photo of Michael Jackson in a box on the corner of the screen… below the photo, it read, “1958 – 2009”. I froze. Cold crept from my toes to the tips of my hair, and all I heard was the loud thumping of my heart.

* * *

Michael Jackson is gone.

I felt my lungs constrict and a huge bubble blocked my air passage and my throat, it made breathing such a labor. I swallowed hard to clear it, but it sat there and plugged my throat painfully. It must have been more than an hour after I realized that my sister already left for work and I was alone in her room staring absently at the TV screen. In my head Michael Jackson’s songs were narrating my life….

“Happy” – the very first record I ever owned in my life – single, in vinyl disk. I learned the word “concert” through The Jackson 5 concert in Araneta Coliseum in Manila where, at six years, I instantly fell for that cute teen with a sweet voice and groovy moves called Michael Jackson when he sang “Ben”. “Don’t stop ‘til you get enough” and “Rock with You” from his “Off the Wall” album veered us away from the cheesiness of “disco” music to a different kind of dance tunes and dance moves – the very ingredients that gave birth to “pop music” as we know it today. These were the songs that catapulted MJ to gigastardom. The same songs that my siblings and I used to dance to while growing up, copying MJ’s moves and trying to compete as to who had the fastest and fanciest foot works. That kept us away from all those trouble-inducing teen and pre-teen rebellious activities – a good reason why even my late Mom was a big fan of MJ’s. Indeed, "Off the Wall" was a fulfilment of the magnificent promise of Michael's brilliant star as a solo artist. And the world craved for more!

* * *

In the 80’s, when my siblings and I were teenagers, “Thriller” came out. It was such a phenomenon! Michael Jackson grew from this prodigy to this phenomenal artistic force that was bound to capture every single individual whose soul responded to music. Michael’s soul, embodied in his music, was a consuming fire that caught the whole world. His performances revealed the powerful passion for musical artistry that defined every note he sang and every single move he made… and it set the whole
world ablaze! Those energetic yet graceful spins halted by a fancy foot work and a pose, those signature waist-high kicks accompanied by arm and head movements that went fluidly with the tempo of his music, and that moonwalk, oh yeah, that Michael Jackson moonwalk – awesome dance moves that put a signature on Michael’s performances, and copied by many until now. He was a performance dynamo on stage – totally elevating music concerts from a mere 90-minute entertainment to an unforgettable experience.

Seeing Michael’s unbelievable dance moves and impassioned rendition of his songs on screen, the music industry realized the power of music video in taking people’s appreciation of music to a different level. Michael seemed to understand this from the very beginning. Even when he was just this little boy from Gary, Indiana, in colorful matching outfits, he danced energetically with his brothers while singing “Rockin’ Robin” with such infectious gusto that elicited delighted response from his audience. As a solo artist in “Off the Wall”, he started concocting a formula for the now vintage Michael Jackson sing-and-dance performances. Gifted singer and dancer as he was, his star shone even brighter. When another music genius, Quincy Jones, gave him a powerful vehicle to explore his understanding of “total performance” in “Billie Jean” – another big song from the album “Thriller” – Michael took it. And, boy, did he hit home! He sang and danced his way to the heart of every single TV-owning individual all over the globe via MTV. When "Beat it" came out, thanks to MTV, almost every single teenager on the planet was wearing be-zippered red jacket over black trousers, and black shoes with white socks!

* * *

Accompanying MJ’s bright star’s rise to universal level was the boom of music videos, and the (re)birth of MTV as we know it today. Suddenly, music became a visual art, too! And Michael started re-painting himself through unique and colorful, albeit eccentric, wardrobe and bling-blings, such as those sequined gloves and dark glasses that made every single appearance on TV totally interesting to his
fans. But his music and his to-the-max performances remained to be the reason why he was the undisputed King of Pop.

Not satisfied with the blings, he started experimenting on cosmetic surgery, too. That time, his music, which was brilliant, was all that mattered that any such eccentricities were overlooked… or forgiven. He was the King of Pop, he can’t go wrong. His records and music videos continued to dominate the charts. Because of the rise of MTV, partly through Michael’s stardom, the influence of music became more widely encompassing. In fact, when “Thriller” came out, the world was one in singing and dancing to the same song – “Thriller”, breaking all kinds of cultural barriers. And it made Michael Jackson and his music the iconic legend in the glorious days of the pop music era!

Needless to say, I was one of them teary-eyed fans whenever Michael waved his gloved hand.

* * *

He used his gigastar status to help alleviate problems in the world, too. He played an important role in putting together “USA for Africa” to bring about much needed relief from hunger to Ethiopia. Wherever he went to perform, he would visit places of grief-stricken individuals to bring cheers to them through his music and
company. He promoted music among young people as a means of expressing themselves in a positive way. His example was emulated by other artists, putting a humane face to the entertainment business. Young people, like myself then, were all about good music and good cause… and the King of Pop was in the center of it all.

And then, the cosmetic surgery experiments were brought to the extremes. Suddenly, he emerged as a very different person – physically… and yet, he oozed the same Michael Jackson magic when he performed. His music was constantly evolving… a real genius, he kept his music current... because he can! From the fast dance rhythm of his “Off the Wall” songs, to the rock/dance concoctions of the “Thriller” songs, to the angry pop/rock sound he offered in “Bad”, he was brilliant. When his 80’s contemporaries retreated to being superstars of the past, he and his music remained relevant even when a wave of new artists were coming in.

Privately, however, he seemed to be succumbing deeper and deeper to the pit of his lonely existence in the glory of his legend. And, the more extreme the eccentricities went. In the meantime, the pop music landscape was slowly changing, and the pop media became more and more ferocious in its transformation to an industry of extreme sensationalism of celebrity stories. The discrete curbing of celebrity privacy became a complete disregard of privacy – it became almost a human rights violation! And, the King of Pop, was the easy target. Because more and more new artists were emerging and planting themselves in the new pop landscape, the genius of the Michael Jackson artistry was reduced by the overbearing pop media, to a mere laughing matter. More than anything else, they were interested in reporting how many cosmetic surgeries MJ had had within a month… perhaps, there was nothing else to report, too. Or, perhaps… it was human nature?

Then came the child molestation charges… the ferocious pop media had a field day, and Michael underwent a trial by publicity… all the music genius forgotten, all the record-breaking achievements set aside, all the humanitarian activities all throughout his career thrown out of the window, his privacy ignored and disrespected. All the public saw, especially those who knew very little of Michael’s great legend, was the image painted by the pop media of a recluse cosmetically deformed pedophile. At that point, I started avoiding any news story about MJ. I consoled myself with the beautiful music he made and the wonderful things that it did to people in a generation where artistry is most important rather than anything else.

* * *

No, I’m not about to say that Michael Jackson is the greatest pop artist to grace this lifetime as an apology for all the horrible publicities he endured while he struggled to embrace his life on stage. Although some people might say he did it to himself, and it may not be completely untrue, he still deserved so much more than that. It was sad that when he most needed it, the industry that thrived on his genius for a long time couldn’t come up with anything better than calling him Wacko Jacko. If it’s any consolation, at least he could say he had “Music and Me”.

After another hour of Michael Jackson’s death coverage in the news, I switched off the TV defeatedly and went back to my computer. I surfed through my iTunes list of Michael Jackson music… I had so many. But at that moment, there was only one Michael Jackson song playing in my head…

“… get me out into the night time
four walls won’t hold me tonight.
If this town is just an apple,
then let me take a bite.
If they say why, why, tell ‘em that is human nature…”

I saw my childhood, teenage days and young adulthood passing before my eyes, engulfed in Michael Jackson’s soulful voice… my heart was breaking. I tried to
breathe, it was hard. Suddenly, the bubble in my air passage burst, and it sent me convulsing in tears.

I may not have known Michael Jackson the person, but I do have a 'relationship' with his music, like most 80's people do - his artistry totally defined that era. And he taught us how to yelp, “aaawww” with feelings! It's sad, of course, that he couldn't handle the brilliance of his star and, in the end, it sent him to a downward spiral that even him cannot save himself from... not that he knew how to. And people didn't make it any easier for him either.

But what the heck… go ahead, MJ, take a bite, "Don't stop 'til you get enough"… and if they say why, why, I’ll tell ‘em that is human nature.

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Friday, May 22, 2009

The day the stars aligned in Asian skies

====================================================

After seeing those heartfelt smiles on Asian faces because of this article,
http://www.economist.com/finance/displaystory.cfm?story_id=13649520,
Asians have another great reason to rejoice for: the Indian elections (http://www.economist.com/printedition/displayStory.cfm?story_id=13692881). With keywords and phrases like "democracy", "limits of divisive politics", "reformist instincts", and "inclusive growth", it is truly a heartening news.

Not only does it have beautiful traditions and colorful culture, indeed, "India is a land of bright promise."

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