"Hail, Mary, full of grace
the Lord is with thee..."
If only all mothers were like you... full of love, lives in humility and selflessness rather than self-centeredness, then this world would be a better place.
These days, many mothers use their kids as "accessories" - only diamonds, the size of a dice, and poreless face are of higher value. In this age of social media where people can invent their lives in a parallel on-line world, they flaunt their kids as the kids' very existence is 'just a part' of their personal achievements - making a pretty profile pic on social media... which 'should' be far greater than any 'successful' single woman's around. Single women, or married but childless women, are very poor losers whose existence will never be 'complete' - according to our society. They have no one else to continue pursuing and fulfilling their unfulfilled dreams - according to society. And that's the way it is, the way it must be in a world where women should 'spawn' kids, in whatever and however way, to become 'complete' - according to them, 'wonderful mothers' in this society anyway. And yet, do they know their kids at all? Do they know what makes these kids laugh... or cry? What just broke their hearts? What just made them all pink and giggly? What fascinates them? What are they passionate about? What makes their hearts beat fast out of exhilaration and awe? What sends them breathless in admiration? What they dream about at night, and what they dream of every single day? What just offended them and made them lose their cool? What kind of music they listen to, and whose... and why? What disappoints them? What frustrates them? Who just hurt them... just now? Do they have time for their kids? Do they even pay attention?
I remember what Khalil Gibran wrote in "The Prophet", a book I reviewed back in High School - when I didn't know any better:
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows through which your children as living arrows are set forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Some points are worth pondering, some are too tentative in referring to God as the giver of the gift of children, and of life itself. But I do agree that children must be cherished as the most precious gifts from God as they are... and that Mothers, or parents for that matter, should serve as a 'steady bow', the vessel of love, through which these 'arrows' are sent forth to their mission in God's plan. Wasn't it the Master Himself who gave Mary to us to be our mother, looking upon us from the cross where he redeemed us all (and I mean, 'all', not just what this society refer to as the 'lucky ones' who have been blessed with children) from the bondage of sins? If God sees all of us as equally deserving of His love, and the love of a mother, why can't we do the same with one another?
Holy Mary, mother of God... where's your Son? Did He leave our hearts? Can He not stand the filth anymore, all that self-centeredness that makes us to look at ourselves to be better than others? Pray for us, sinners... because we need it.
Too many wishes - for ourselves... when we should be giving you 'gifts' because it's your birthday. Accept our love, our imperfect humanity... but the very imperfection that your Son came to mend, so we can be worthy again of the Father's love. Hold our hands, dear mother... and lead us to the way of your Son. May we learn His ways, may we be one with Him in the Truth... the Truth that is God's Love, the Truth that is God. Amen.
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