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by PAM
When you dread getting out of bed in the morning to spend the rest of the day in a place that has become more and more suffocating, constricting, restricting and limiting your supposed steady growth...
When you feel that you need to keep 'sneaking out' of your space to catch air lest your lungs collapses, and to find a grain of inspiration and love to keep going because there isn't any in the said place...
When you feel that the expectations are way too staggering and sometimes humanly impossible, and that you are judged very harshly by some self-righteous individuals who pretend that they know your heart and assume the worst in you based on your weaknesses without asking - ever - how you are, and why you are in pain...
When you feel that, when 'forced' to be productive, you'd rather work late at night - alone - because the day is just way 'too crowded' for you, forcing you to see too many faces that you'd
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| When the sea beckons, should you set out and sail... away? |
When you feel that, no matter how you persevere what you do no longer excites you because they don't spark joy, they don't inspire optimism and the heartfelt desire to serve sincerely and earnestly; they don't stir your passion, they don't seem relevant or important in the greater scheme of things...
When you feel that many desire what you have - the very same thing that you've never desired in the first place - and it's painful to keep it because you know it is killing some of them, thinking that you are happy with what they believe you 'possess' when you merely are keeping stewardship...
When what you do feels more and more like a 'thankless job' - which should never be okay - in a place that seems to merely use you, squeezing out the last drop of passion from
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| When the road bends to an exhaustive curve, do you follow it to find out what it reveals... or do you change course? |
When where you are makes you feel that you'd rather be somewhere else - just serving in peace, and joyfully, too; serving in a place where you are enabled to be the best you could possibly be rather than just getting reduced to play the role of a submissive slave who is expected to please and feed others' fat ego and cater to their whims; and be in that place where you are compensated enough, not with money but with very good reasons to stay...
When your environment makes you feel that you'd rather be with someone else who fill your heart with joy, who make you feel loved and appreciated, who accord you with mutual respect, and that your happiness is important to them, too...
When you feel that, perhaps, God is calling you somewhere else where you can thrive, and where you are enabled to multiply His wonderful gifts...
...then, it probably is time to go.
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And yet, wise and loving individuals who sincerely care remind you not to make critical decisions when things are at their worst, and that annoyance with one or a couple of individuals should not avert your attention from the task given to you by God in the very beginning. The truth is, it is between you and God - no matter what others feel... and no matter how you feel either. If He chooses to close this chapter in your life, then accept and be thankful because, for sure, He has prepared something greater somewhere else.
In the end, His will be done... and He wills the very best!
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