Music trip...

...because the rain continues to pour relentlessly.
==========================================================================
by PAM


I know I have been wishing for more 'rainy mornings', just to enjoy some blissful moment of solitude... away from work, and it all!  But, after spending the whole day, working from  home with the constant pouring of torrential rain, it got boring, too. So, I run to my trusty refuge - from torrential rains... and boredom as a whole: music.

The first one is a great find... a pretty stimulus that brings out the real 'rocker chick' in the hopeless romantic moi! Hahahaha.... 

🎶 "More than words is all you have to do to make it real..."🎶

It's "More than Words" by Extreme, but interpreted by the indomitable frontman of Aerosmith with incredibly ageless voice, Steven Tyler, and the brilliant guitarist of Extreme, Nuno Bettencourt. What a collaboration this was!  Tyler made effort to put restraint to his usually eardrums-piercing high-pitch voice, and the effort resulted to a different sort of energy being injected to the already 'perfect' song, making it a completely different sort of emotional concoction, spread over a beautiful melody.  The guitar accompaniment, provided by Bettencourt, is excellent per Bettencourt's standard. And his singing of the chorus with Tyler and a few lines in the verses was, oh, so lovely.  Swoon!

And, it's true... "more than words is all you have to do to make it real...".  How so very true.  Don't we normally tend to lean on those who make us feel comfortable, welcomed, and, yes, loved?  They may not say the words, and yet, you know that they will be there to catch you if you fall... and it gives you the confidence to dare accept the most intimidating of challenges, to attempt the impossible, to reach for those stars.  No, true love does not need words... maybe, once, just to be sure.  But what makes us feel loved are the little things... the little gestures that convey caring, a cup of steaming coffee waiting for you after a long day in the rain, ham and egg sandwich with warm bun that makes you think that you're smelling delicious aromas from the kitchen of heaven itself, those little bite-size chocolates, energy bars and a jar of nuts beside your laptop in those long days when you have no time at all to rise to grab lunch or dinner, some sweet wishes of good night that comforts you warmly all night long, and those cheerful greetings of good morning that start your day in positive light. Those are more powerful gestures to convey love than just saying "I love you".

I think that music tripping against rain as background will not be complete without Goo Goo Dolls (GGD) howling "Iris" in the rain. 

🎶 "When everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am." 🎶

John Rzeznik's voice is just awesome, rain notwithstanding!  I don't play guitar myself, but all of rock music world knows that Rzeznik's guitar tunings give that distinct sound to GGD's music. They have that irresistible formula, and it always works!  This is why, GGD is one of my 'go-to' bands when I feel like having a 'quick shot' of rock music to keep me going. 

The odd thing is, everytime... and I mean, everytime, I listen to GGD, Matchbox Twenty (M20) comes to mind, too.  And it simply is not possible to listen to, at least, one M20 song. 

🎶 "Well, everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking 'bout somebody else...

...But it's over now, and I don't know how, guess it's over now...

And there's no getting back to good." 🎶

Yes, it's for people who got played for a fool, became someone else's doormat, got humiliated and got terribly hurt... and yet, they still hope something good to come out of that terrible experience.  In the end, when there's nothing else to anchor one's hopes on, because one should have moved on eons ago, then they admit that "there's no getting back to good".  What good that belated realization is for?  Well, not much, really... but when Rob Thomas of M20 sings about it, somehow, such grim scenario feels good.  And I can't help myself, I wish for more.

So, here's more...

  

🎶 "If you're lost, you can look - and you will find me

Time after time...

If you fall, I will catch you - I will be waiting

Time after time..." 🎶

I thought I'd post something that ties up with the first song above I thought M20's version of "Time after time", originally sang by Cyndi Lauper, fits the bill.  I do have mixed feelings about this song though. It isn't as clear as "More than Words".  I'm not sure if such extreme self-sacrifice is romantic love, or if the songs is suggesting friendship... about being there as a friend for someone to rely on.  To me, what is most striking about this enigma of a song is this verse...

🎶 "Sometimes you picture me--

I'm walking too far ahead

You're calling to me, I can't hear

What you've said

Then you say-- go slow--

I fall behind

The second hand unwinds." 🎶 

What does it mean?  Why should one, pictured as walking too far ahead, go slow?  In the first place, why is the other one falling behind?  What kind of relationship is this?  Is it a relationship at all when the two people involved are not shoulder to shoulder with each other as they journey through life?

Uhm, yeah... blame it on the rain! ⛈

***
Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

***

Rainy morning...

...therefore, time for some 'sappy' love songs.
==========================================================================
by PAM


It's one of those rainy mornings, and work is suspended in the University... so there's time to stay lying in bed, passing the time... just plainly enjoying the blissful 'extra time' in bed - doing nothing, not thinking (too much) about work, and just giving one's self to indulge in daydreaming... and not feeling guilty about it either. Such moment calls for music... something to wrap the moment around with, and shield it from external factors that may shatter the moment. Music makes the moment last, lovelier and more enjoyable.

This came to mind, a suggestion from my 'love song buddy' from a few months ago...

🎶 "...when the world seems so unfair, you can count on me to stay

just take some time to lend an ear

to this ordinary song..." 🎶

It's "Ordinary Song" by the Filipino folk singer, Marc Velasco. It's one of those songs that you don't normally think about, but if you look wider and deeper, you'll find it... sitting inconspicuously on top of a pile of overplayed love songs.  It's beautiful in its simplicity and honesty... so unpretentious and devoid of hype, a lovely serenade - from the heart. This is why, once you find it, it stays in your thoughts... it's almost haunting - but in a good way.

Speaking of 'haunting' - in a  good way, my own addition to this morning's love songs galore is another unforgettable one once heard.  It was sang so beautifully by the British singer and song writer, Beverly Craven, in her most emotionally 'haunting' voice... rendered with the heart-gripping melody in her own superb piano playing as backdrop.    

🎶 "When I go away, I'll miss you

and I will be thinking of you every night and day

Just promise me, you'll wait for me

and I'll be saving all my love for you

and I will be home soon..." 🎶

Aaaww... goodness me, how beautiful!  "A gift to the ears" is how one of Craven's fans call it. I do agree completely. It just makes me want to laze in bed for the longest time, and just enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the wonderful moment! And Craven herself is such a beautiful woman that watching her perform her own song is just so utterly mesmerizing. And her impressive talent and beauty do not fade with age... she is as stunning as ever after all these years.

Ahh, these rainy mornings... don't we wish we have more of them?  I know I do!

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

***

Saturday photo

Birthday greeting... the sweet old fashioned way. 

Still on turning fifty, and receiving presents... I can't help but for my heart to be warmed so sweetly in receiving a lovely birthday card from my former classmates - my "gang" - in college.  The outer cover was a cheerful collage of cute and colorful drawings and 3-D birthday icons: gifts that are wrapped in colorful papers and bows, flowers and butterflies, hearts and twinkling stars. It was a festive piece of artwork, reminding me of my girlish sentiments

A colorful suprise that touches a fifty-year-old heart. 

in those good old days of fantasies and make-believes... just beautiful, it warms the heart.  

And I thought that the sweetness ends there. I opened the card, and my eyes were treated once again to a collage of warm sweetness and pretty colors, but this time, they are accompanied by fun little messages of encouragement and hope on turning fifty years old!  And the colorful backdrop was adorned with names of people that I love from so long ago... my College friends: my friends, my "gang"!  It was impossible not to crack into a smile... the kind that originates from the heart, and goes full circle to touch all possible positive emotions and reside in the heart, burning with a warmth that felt incredibly good.  

In my sweet reverie, I failed to focus on the music that played cheerfully in the background as I reminisce the good old days. I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me... until my gaze fell on twinkling red letters that said "happy birthday". The timing of the cute twinkle seemed to sync with the tempo of the cheerful monophonic tune that plays in the background... 🎶 "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you... "🎶 I can't help myself... it made me smile happily and hummed along.   

And then, it struck me so warmly. It was a musical birthday greeting card!! Hahahaha... who sends these things anymore these days? So very thoughtful!  And I was flooded so warmly by some lovely nostalgic feels, and it was awesomely beautiful! Yes, I did feel loved, and cared for... suddenly, the age does not matter at all. Only this... only this feeling of love is all that matters. 

Ah, to be fifty! 

***

Saturday photo

It's the little things... made with gigantic and sincerest of goodwill and love...
that are the most special things.

It's been a beautiful day... and the most perfect of all evenings in my life!  I should love to write about this evening here in this little corner of mine some other time.  What's the occasion?  Actually, it's my 50th birthday celebration - the fulfillment of a promise.  There I said it... I just turned 50 years old!  In the meantime, I wish to express appreciation of this little present that I received from my little 'minions'. 😊

It was very surprising, to say the least. You'd expect these kids to try to act as grown up, and choose to give a present that shows how smart they are in figuring out what you wish to have... all expensive and pretty.  But not these little minions of mine.  They chose to

The simplest but sweetest of presents... made with thoughtfulness,
the deepest of affection and kind understanding. 

give the smallest of panda stuffed toy, fitted in a whole young coconut with empty shell, hence, calling it "buko panda", reminiscent of their favorite dessert, "buko pandan".  Clutched by the little panda in its short arms and legs were sweet hand-written messages, expressing the minions' wishes for me... as I approach old age! 😜

Not inside the buko was a little 'black accordion book' of memories, covered with a print of vintage stamps (who uses stamps anymore these days?).  Each panel of the little accordion book was adorned with photo/s of the minions in groups... all smiling adorably.  The little minion who made the book of memories said, "when you're sad, just have a look at our photos. Hopefully, they would make your heart happy and bring  smile to your lips," or something to that effect.  This minion knows how stressed out I could get sometimes... how frustrated I feel sometimes... and how 'angry' I get over silly things that are blown out of proportion by many absurd people with absurd agenda.  Yes, 'grown up stuff'... but they are made light and bearable by the sunny perspective of these adorable young people.  They bring the rainbow to me on rainy days... and I feel incredibly lucky!  What's not to love?  

I've grown old, yes... in age, and in emotions, but not necessarily in wisdom - I'm still working on that.  Yes, I've grown old, but I remain 'work in progress'.  But I do feel that I've become 'calmer'... kinder, happier... and definitely more capable of love - the simplest, least complicated, and sincerest of love.  It's all thanks to these 'minions' of mine.  They bring out the best in me... it may not be that side of me that wants to 'win everything', but that side that wants to be a good person.  That side that wants to be better every single day... the side of me that wants to continuously journey in God's blissful will, propelled by genuine happiness, inspired by love, and fueled by hope and joy.   And that side is fast becoming all of me... and it's all thanks to these adorable 'kids'. 💖

Yes, I am fifty years old... and I am absolutely content, and truly happy!  Thanks be to God!


***

Saturday evening music...

...because a sweet inspiration came rushing in.
=================================================================
by PAM


It's that wonderful season again... a season that comes only after every four years: FIFA World Cup!  Naturally, my days and nights (mostly, nights and wee hours of mornings) are full of World Cup 2018 (WC18) thoughts... and musings. 😊  It's exhilarating... disappointing sometimes, surprising most of the time, but overall, it's too beautiful!  I just love it!

But tonight, my heart is totally devoid of WC18 excitement... but I'm excited just the same. One person reminded me of my inclination towards love songs, and the beautiful feelings that they evoke. 💓 Some songs are sappy and oozing with  cheesiness... and yet, for a heart beating devotedly for someone special, only the beauty of the melody, which beats in synch with one's loving heart, is all that matters.  It's like being surrounded by all that refreshing fragrance in a magical garden where flowers bloom in unison with one's love for someone special, and fill the air with scents that match our loving feeling... and it's beautiful, indeed!

When the same person wanted to know what comes to mind when asked about a favorite love song, my mind automatically pointed to "Feels like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk, after scanning years and years of avid fandom of love songs in my head... and heart.

🎶 "If you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought I'd love anyone so much.

It feels like home to me... 

...it feels like I'm all the way back where I come from." 🎶

I absolutely love the lyric!  That sweet realization of how incredibly joyful it is to find 'that one perfect match' whose heart beats in unison with yours... in contrast to the edgy feeling of restrained desperation as one waits for 'the one' with much anticipation... a perfect metaphor for 'home'.  This song captures a multitude of intense emotions... but, they all converge to a peaceful, blissful feeling of loving... and being loved. Beautiful!

But my 'love song buddy' pressed for more!  And, at the very bottom of my heart, I found this one song that has been sitting there for three decades now, burning quietly a light of persistent hope... for a love that will burn an 'eternal flame'.

🎶 "I used to have a wish

one day I'd feel like this

Now I know love exists

'Cause it's standing right next to me." 🎶

It's "Standing right next to me" by Karla Bonoff.  It's too beautiful, it just melts the heart in sweet surrender... to love, isn't it?  While the lyric does not match the passionate tapestry of emotions conveyed by "Feels like home", KB's voice has that hypnotic quality about it that surrounds one with that incredible bliss of being in love, and getting one's strong feelings reciprocated in equal intensity.  It conveys the beginning of a union made in heaven... with a promise that it will last - forever. 💕😍   

So, yes... it is a beautiful evening, indeed - a time well-spent with a kindred spirit who never fails to inspire heartfelt reflection... with lots of humor, and shared interests and beliefs, on the side.  I am absolutely grateful for my 'love song buddy'! 😇💖

***

Video credits:  Thanks, YouTube ("Feels like Home") and Daily Motion ("Standing right next to me"), for the video links.

***

Sunday morning music...

...to soothe an aching soul.

=============================================================================

by PAM

"Take my hand and gently close your eyes so you could understand

that there's no greater love tonight than what I've for you.

So, if you feel the same way then let go...

...life is short, my darlin', tell me that you love me...

...I'll be by your side, forever by your side."

Those days when things get 'too much', and I just need a 'safe and quiet place' to 'rest'... a place where I can try to find meaning in all the chaos around... those are difficult days.  And, well, today is one of those days.  So, here I am, in my 'safe place'... may God keep me company.

It has been an extremely difficult 45 days.  I felt like getting caught up in a whirlwind... and feeling really helpless and out of breath.  I was just moving back and forth from sadness to happiness in an eye-blinding speed.  The emotions swing from extremes, so far apart and contrasting... but mostly sadness.  Yesterday, sadness just tipped the scale in ferocious 'violence'... and I got thrown off track. It was like hitting a hard wall while moving on great momentum, and flying off the ground like a weightless feather, helpless, desperately trying to find something to cling to, and finding nothing... nothing at all!  It was 'painful'... it felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest, getting smashed against a solid curtain of high-pressure air, and shattering to small pieces - so extremely painful!  No amount of tears can bring and hold the pieces together.  Now, my head aches so badly... and my heart 'bleeds'... gushing 'blood' of extreme, convulsive sadness... and it hurts so badly.  I cling to hope, holding on desperately... but I am slowly being overcome by sadness, I feel like letting go.

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video link.

***

Word of the day...

'Sadness or displeasure'....

Hmmm... in my case now, it's 'sadness'. Definitely, 'sadness'!  

'Hopes or expectations'....

Hmmm... in this current case of mine, it's 'hopes'.  It's definitely 'hopes'!  I had very little expectations... but I was hoping from the depth of my soul and from the bottom of my heart that, one day, these 'little dragons' under my care who see themselves as mere 'bugs' in a fragrant garden of intellectual haven will finally realize that they can soar up in the sky, and not just hover around a little garden patch... and that they can magically 'spit fire', too!  It's been a grueling endeavor to mend their battle scars and get them to a point when I can finally say that they are ready to own their gift of dragonesque greatness.  I was hoping that that day was today! 

I did my best. I truly, truly did... and I thought I had enough reason to hope for something, uhm, 'reasonable' - a reasonable outcome. No, I wasn't even hoping for anything 'grand', nothing extraordinary, just the most minimal. A sense of responsibility... a little effort to show that the tremendous support received was well-deserved. That this faith that I have in these lovely 'little dragons' is not unfounded... and that the purest of love that I so painstakingly distilled and packed in great density - just for them, was given not in vain.

But no... they chose to be 'small'... little unremarkable creatures with wings flip-flapping miserably like bugs instead... and it's heart-breaking!  

'Sadness'... sadness is what I am feeling right now.  'Sadness', most definitely!

***

Image credit:  Thanks, Google Dictionary.

***

(Belated) Happy VDay...

...to ALL!
=============================================================================
by PAM


I have to admit that Valentine's Day is truly a special day... forget the 'commercial' aspect of it, and just focus on the warmth that one feels from one's toes to one's head just imagining those cute little red and pink hearts that 'fly' around us on 'VDay'... like electric

Roses are red, er, pink... violets are blue.
It's Valentine's Day, therefore, happy Vday to you!

current flying around, occasionally touching us, and making us 'giddy' with teenage love feels.  It seems that the day warrants heightened loving and the feeling of being loved... and that's just beautiful!

Having said the above, I truly do not understand all those 'anti-Valentine' sentiments... and I'm single!  Okay, I wasn't about to join the bandwagon of smug 'in-a-relationship' peeps who cling to their partners in rather scandalously conspicuous manner just to get the best selfie to be posted on all sorts of social media platform on VDay season... just to be "in".  I do believe in being proud of one's loving feelings for someone... but I don't believe in deliberately flaunting it - for no apparent reason. Furthermore, I do believe that Vday is not exclusive to celebration of love between couples.  There is enough space on Valentine's for love of family and true friends, love between spiritual parents and kids, and love between kindred spirits... just because sometimes these kinds of unconditional love are the ones that get us through life's complex twists and turns... those unfathomable mysteries that can only be uncovered and conquered by love.

And here's one song that somewhat captures that warm feeling of loving... and being loved... at whatever age, under whatever circumstance, in spite of distance and time zones, no matter how painful sometimes, through all the good times and bad... 

🎶 Oh, you can fit me

Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul. 🎶

Oh, boy, so beautiful! So, yes, Happy (belated) Happy Valentine's Day to all... of us! 💘😍

***
About the Photo: Thanks, from the bottom of my heart, to the UST Engineering Student Council (ESC) for this gorgeous bouquet of flowers. 

***   

Hello 2018!

You're just in time! 
=============================================================================
by PAM


Oh, what a year 2017 has been!  

Just think about the leaders of many nations whose 'craziness' reached despicable level in 2017, and see if you don't gag!  But then, there are grains of feel-good news, too, such as Prince Harry finally finding the love of his life... and she's a

Toasting the coming New Year....

commoner; and the 'Mighty' Thor himself breaking away from his brooding mood with a delightful sense of humor while he saves the universe... and outwits Loki in a funny way. It's a form of escape, of course... but what does one do when the current President of a

superpower 'tweets' like a mad man in the wee hours of night, provoking craziness in another mad man in the East who threatens to vaporize one island after another in crazy retaliation?  This craziness happens as the 'Czar' of a fallen superpower rendezvous with the owner of the iron fist of the 'true' superpower these days to divide the world's wealth between themselves. What else can you do other than turn to your 'comrades' in the creative make-believe world where good triumphs over evil? Of course, in our current reality, it's "evil vs. evil"!  Therefore, 'escape' is necessary!

Personally, many battles were won in 2017, and I feel like many of the 'good seeds' cultivated in very hard toil are finally springing to yield the 'good fruits', and I can't describe the happiness that I feel. It's too beautiful for words!  It's too 'grand' a feeling especially when I think about the benefits to the younger people around me whose dreams will be fulfilled, and whose families will be better off because of the very good education that we helped them achieve. 

Of course, because I hate focusing the limelight towards myself, I express my happiness in my usual 'dry humor' + sarcasm that only a few get... and those who refuse to give me credit for anything because they want it all for themselves respond with condescending remarks that is completely off-key.  Others 'pity' me for 'sacrificing' my 'own happiness' - for my work. And, by 'own happiness', they, of course, mean not being married! 😆 It doesn't get old, I tell ya!  And it's really very old fashioned, too! But what else can I expect?  People will always pull you down... bomb your soaring spirit on flight until they see you careening down towards sadness and loneliness. They measure you up based on their limited standard. And, of course, for the life of them, they cannot see what you see... the vision, and the wonderful things that you imagine in your head - planted there and made to flourish by a spring of inspiration coming from answered prayers.  When you don't have what they have that's making them happy, they cannot imagine

Seeing reindeer on New Year's Day! 

you being happy at all. So, you just have to be patient... and understanding.  Of course, when you don't try to explain to them how happy you are, they assume that you are wallowing in sadness. 😊 And they look at you with such condescending pity, it's laughable!

But, what do they know?  They will only know what they assume... and it's sad - for them. They will never know what's inside me... how I truly feel, and how fulfilled I feel because I embraced what God has given me. I am living it... I am living God's will, and I am making the most of it - to His greater glory!  "Mission accomplished, Lord!"  How many people can say that?  Of course, I have battle scars all over... but I got through to victory with the Holy Spirit's orchestration... because I let the Holy Spirit direct me... no matter how difficult the path, no matter how heart-wrenching the consequences of the hard choices I had to make.  In the end, God's desired outcome is attained - for the good of most, not just for the success of one individual.  In fact, never for the success of only one individual. And that's God's will... and that's all that matters.

***
The trouble was not the year 2017 itself, or God's presence in our midst because He is present.  

Here's to you, 2018!  May you be kind to us.

 The choices that many arrogant individuals who believe that they hold the key to the world's success and happiness was the big trouble.  In 2017, many such individuals emerged or re-surfaced... and it was extremely sad for humanity.  And, yet, they do not really hold the key to our happiness... therefore, the choice is still ours. And happiness is still up for grabs!  After all, when you trust in the Lord, when you give everything up to Him... every single day, no matter how difficult, is a solemn sacrifice... and every single thought is a prayer.

So, just when the world is getting sick and tired of the 'experimental antics' of 2017, with outcomes that went from extremely atrocious to extremely delightful, along came 2018! We don't know yet what it brings us but, boy, are we all so ready now for a big change - for the better!  I wish for the world to bloom and flourish to a new life... in the refreshing dew of goodwill, hope and love. I'm keeping the faith! 

Oh, and by the way, I do have a 'strong feeling' about 2018. And, I can't wait to find out why! 💗

*** 

Sunday foodie...

...because I craved Thai food... therefore, grabbed Thai food. 
============================================================================
by PAM


It's been a while since the last time I posted a 'foodie' stuff here, not because I lost interest in foodie-ing but because I can't find the time to write a new post here. Heck, I can't even find the time to visit my own blog for the past how many weeks!  I've become a full-time 'hardcore bore'... how very sad.  But I digress.... 

While on last-minute Christmas shopping, and I mean, Iiterally last-minute... as in a few hours

Pad Thai...  classic taste.

before the midnight Mass, I was dashing for Christmas gifts for my loved ones in a nearby shopping mall. And because the mall was crawling with last-minute shoppers like myself, it was 'cut-throat' out there!  It was so intense that I got dizzyingly hungry, and the first thing to come to mind was Thai food! So, I made a beeline with my sisters to my trusty Thai restaurant, Lemongrass Thai Asian Food Park. It used to be called something else, Sweet Chili Thai Fish and Noodle House, and I wrote a Sunday Foodie entry about it a few years ago, also around this time.  I don't know why they changed the name of the restaurant, and it didn't occur to me to ask.  I visited the place twice already after its change of name, and the quality of food, in my opinion, stayed the same - very good.  So, in a 'challenging moment' that can only be fixed by food, it was my 'go to' place.  

I knew what I wanted, and I ordered it as soon as we arrived - it was Pad Thai. I also ordered a glass of Lemongrass cooler, which was not only refreshing but it also woke the sense of taste to full activity, ready for the main dish.  I also ordered a plate of fried spring rolls, which was also very good - delightfully crunchy on the outside and the veggies cooked to perfection inside.  My sisters and I ended up ordering a bunch of stuff from the restaurant - for our noche buena, and spent the remaining time before the midnight Mass shopping for loved ones instead of cooking.  Overall, it was good.

***