Saturday photo

Lorelai and Rory:
The calm before the storm... as history takes aim at repeating itself.

It's amazing how life sometimes takes a 'sharp turn', takes you by surprise as it does... and then stuns you with a gentle force that wakes you up from your deep slumber in blind acceptance of what you believe is your fate in the confines of your dwindling self-worth. And life does shake you up with what it has in store for you... just waiting at the corner.  And then you feel the caking blanket of acceptance that's enveloping you like a cemented cocoon cracks, and gently falls off, one little dried chip of cemented complacency at a time.  Slowly, you feel that you are able to breathe comfortably again, and the relief is astonishing! And you can't believe how long you have been holding your breath, waiting to exhale.  As the dried cake continues to fall off, you slowly hear, and feel, your heart beat again.  And you feel suddenly alive - again!

***
That familiar sound of witty banter

I had this wonderful chance of re-living the early 2000s - thanks to Netflix, where my pop culture memory is dominated by that epic of a TV series, Gilmore Girls.  It's the only thing that can eclipse the memory of the 'changing of guards' in the tennis world, also in the early 2000s, as Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi were being edged off by that genius Swiss Maestro, Roger Federer, whose brilliance is only challenged by that 17-year-old force of nature from Spain, Rafael Nadal.  Gilmore Girls was one heck of a TV series!  The witty banters - episode after episode, were unparalleled; and the mix of drama and humor is nothing else but a stroke of rare perfection that one would think it was penned from heaven itself!  

In a way, watching the mother-daughter tandem of the single mother, Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham), and her only daughter, Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel), whom she had at the age of seventeen years, unleash their unparalleled wit in brilliant banters was very much like watching tennis.  It was always as if the players were engaged in an exciting rally that, in the end, it didn't really matter who won the point because you were entertained tremendously anyway!  You just felt lucky to see the ball being 'battered' in relentless effort from the players to never allow it to bounce out of the court.  Add to the two young Gilmore girls Lorelai's mother, Emily Gilmore (Kelly Bishop), whose ability to win an argument, even when she was always fighting a lost cause, was outstanding... and, yes, bewildering at the same time, and you got yourself a real treat!  Add to the mix, the snotty concierge at Lorelai's Independence Inn, and later, Dragonfly Inn, Michel Gerard (Yanic Truesdale), and you've got yourself a popcorn-worthy, slumber party TV marathon material -  complete with Mickey Mouse socks!  The banter-filled script was superb - in every single episode!  And yet, what good is a great script if the actors cannot keep the ball flying, and leave the audience either open-mouthed in awe... or bursting at the seams in convulsed laughter?  I say, the casting was a work of a genius, too.

Anyway, after a "hell" of a week, and the week before, too... with only a couple of hours of sleep each night - maximum - it is, indeed, an incredible gift to re-discover an old fave!  I'm in love again! 

***
Wake up call... from the girls

But what made the time with my fave TV girls fantastic was the fact that they led me to a glorious epiphany!

I've been dragging myself from one week to the next, struggling to fuel myself with enough inspiration to keep going... trying to convince myself every single morning, when I wake up, that the struggle, while painful, is worth it!  It is a good thing that I have these beautiful kids that I love to bits who give me enough reason to keep smarting off from the painful struggle, giving meaning to what I do in my workplace - every single day.  Whenever I begin wishing to be anywhere else but in my workplace, I think of them... and the thought that they might just be outside my Office, and seeing me not giving my 100% scares me because I never ever want to be a bad example to them.  And, so I gather whatever little scraps of inspiration I can find, and move the day to productivity.  With prayers - lots of it, and the good people around me, I always manage to have a satisfying day... never mind that, some people see us in my Office as their workhorses that they can kick around to perform stuff for them.  Indeed, people can be very demanding and incredibly arrogant like that sometimes!

And yet, it makes me think... why do I feel that what I do, while important and meaningful, and my Team and I were able to accomplish unprecedented things in the history of our Institution, is becoming more and more of a burden rather than a joy?  Perhaps, with all the varied challenges we face, the bulk of work has become physically impossible to perform without enough assistance.  So, the joy that I used to get from reflecting over our work vanished because there hardly is time to pause and rest these days, leaving a time for reflection to be next to absolute impossibility! 

Speaking of reflection, almost a decade after the end of the original series, a sequel to the original Gilmore Girls was distributed by Netflix, "Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life".  It was a four-part mini series that updated fans with the whereabouts and goings-on in the lives of our fave girls.  It was surprising to find out that the now 35-year-old Rory, while a success in Yale, was hopping from one 'gig' of a job to another.  And she was without her own place.  Her love relationships were messy, too!  And, while she struggled to put her life together, with the transitions in the lives of Lorelai and Emily in the background, it led me to my own reflection, too. 

I was going to do great things after Cornell!  I believe... I did, too.  At least, that's what the facts and numbers in my workplace say.  And, yet, I do not feel like I have fully utilized the 'tanks and tanks' of knowledge and experience that Cornell loaded me with while I was with them... just like Rory was nurtured to do great things by Yale during her time there.

And now, I am 'restless'... the 'tanks' are about to 'explode' on their own, they want to be 'opened and emptied'... because they want a 're-fill'... perhaps, in another Ivy League Institution, or its equivalent somewhere else.  In the last installment of the four-part sequel of Gilmore Girls, Rory decided to work on her own 'tanks'... had an epiphany on the 'best place' to do so, and she dropped everything to get there!  Once there, 'greatness' just poured out in beautiful waves of delectable brilliance... and the result is bound to become a masterpiece.  So, all was well again for Rory!

I desperately need to be in my own 'best place' to open my 'tanks', 'empty' them... and 're-fill', too.  And that is the reason why what I do has become a burden, it is preventing me from getting to where I should go.  And yet, I understand that my realities are not as simple as Rory's scripted life.  Therefore, I continue to pray.

At the very end of the Gilmore Girl's sequel, just when you think that all is well, Rory revealed a secret to Lorelai that was bound to make history repeat itself. I do not have such kind of secret. Uh, wait... maybe I do have, too?! ;)

***
Image credit:  The photo was a mobile phone shot from the 4th episode of the Gilmore Girls sequel - thanks, Netflix.

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Wednesday Nostalgia

A legendary couple: greying... but not fading in brilliance.
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by PAM

And we thought we've seen the last of Robert Redford and Jane Fonda on celluloid screen sometime back.  But, no, it simply is not possible for these two to rest on their laurel, and watch time pass them by.  They ventured into another film... not a masterpiece, alright, but it's able to spread the warmth that only brilliance in acting can do in a film buff's heart, that's for sure.  The film is "Our Souls at Night", produced and distributed by Netflix in 2017. To date, it garnered 89% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 38 critics' review.

"I just want to live out my day

and then come to tell you about it at night."

While I am not a Netflix sort of a person... until recently, that is, I am thankful that films like this could be enjoyed with just a few clicks on one's laptop, or smart phone, and allow nostalgia to spread its warm blanket around one, especially when the nostalgic feels involve the glorious Sundance kid and the 'original workout queen', Barbarella. 

The film is based on the novel of the same title by Kent Haruf, which I haven't read, so I can't really compare the film and the book. I just know that the film version's plot is very simple and straight-forward. It was about two lonely people of advanced age with tangled pasts that needed undoing, making sleep a bit troubled at night.  Addie (Jane Fonda's character) boldly offered Louis (Robert Redford's character) to share her bed - in platonic company, to make sleep come easier, to which Louis agreed, albeit very reluctantly at first.  Later, friendship developed... and love  blossomed.  The plot was easy enough to follow and rationalize... and the pace was good that, I'm sure, the audience can feel how the bond of friendship was slowly forming between Addie and Louis, and how affection started to precipitate from all the honesty of bearing their souls to each other at night, which eventually bloomed to love and loyalty to each other.

I'm not quite impressed with the quality of direction courtesy of Ritesh Batra, a young Indian film Director from Mumbai. I think that so much of Redford's and Fonda's genius in acting were not quite 'optimized'... those long shots, for instance, when the visibly ambivalent Addie came to Louis's home to make the 'sleeping together' proposal, did not help. Fonda obviously tried to conjure the perfect blend of courage, daring and weirdness that led her Addie to Louis's door to pop the odd 'proposal'. Considering that that was the 'trunk' from which all the interesting 'branches' of the story sprang from, it was weak and almost unremarkable. How I longed to see all the facial muscles and expressive eyes of these great actors convey the depth of their feelings... and emotions that the scene was so worthy of!  The long shots wasted the supposed profundity of the scene and the incredible depth of the actors to lend the needed genius to make the scene something to celebrate about by film lovers in the many years to come. Batra missed the opportunity to make that happen, and it was almost heartbreaking!  And yet, the Redford temper and self-control, conveyed so vividly through facial expressions that didn't need a single word, was so beautifully captured in that scene where his Louis was being made fun of by his men friends over the 'sleeping with Addie' gossips. His jaws just tightened... he sighed, stood up, and walked away - taking with him all that angst, a supposed perfect blow on one of his man friends' gloating face, and the eruption of bottled outburst to express protective instinct for and loyalty to Addie.  Just genius!

Yes, if only to watch Redford and Fonda shine acting greatness, this film is so worth those 103 minutes of a film lover's life.

Review Summary: Go for it!


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Image credit: Screen capture from the IMDb website - thanks!

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Saturday photo

Kicking off shoes for a bit...
...to reflect and appreciate life - how beautiful, how precious it is. 

There are times when life surprises you with a teriffic beauty... leaving you breathless in incredible awe! When such luck presents itself, the response is clear and simple: give in! Kick off your shoes, and just allow yourself to be lost in the beauty in front of you... let your senses depart as you dance in complete abandon... barefoot!  And as you do, it is best to just enjoy the moment to the fullest... like it will never come again! 

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About the photo: The photo featured in this post was taken at the Spanish Bay in 17 Mile Drive in Carmel, California on my most recent visit in August 2018.

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Something different...

...just because they 'can' feel good, too.
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by PAM


No, I am not tired of listening to the songs in my playlists on Spotify (I have a few). 

When I add songs, I usually ask myself if I'd still love the song in five or ten years' time. My mind... heart and soul... would do some iteration, and when the answer is 'yes', then I add the song. Uhm, nah, I'm not usually this extremely dorky... just a little bit... but I try to be as reasonable and as accurate as possible.  And then, the rest of the time, I just let go... let my 'gut feel' do the job.  I am a fierce believer of that faithfuls' sentiment that if you pray hard enough every single day, God would usually speak with you through your 'gut feel'! I know that sounds a bit like 'Catholic smug', but if you're demanding honesty from me... then honesty, I give you!

But I digress.... I was talking about my playlists on Spotify. Recently, I created a new playlist, which comprised of songs of artists that I don't usually listen to, but strike my fancy in those moments of sheer openness to 'something different'.  Today, it's this song, "Georgia" by that talented Australian artist, Vance Joy.

🎶 "You build me up like steps

eyes innocent and wild...

I never thought your love was worth its wait

Well, now you've come and gone

I've finally worked it out...." 🎶

I'm not sure that I understand what the song meant... what's it about and what for.  It's just way too melancholy to be ignored... with hope and despair haunting the listener alternately. Well, at least, this listener. And, in the deeper layers of the song, you sense hopeless romanticism desperately pushing its way through the thick cloud of brokenness and uncertainty. In the end, reason still prevails... and it just "worked (it) out". How a songwriter can do that... and how a singer can interpret it with such accuracy as the songwriter envisions it to be is simply amazing! It's a very interesting piece of pop musical art, indeed!  

Would I still love the song in five or ten years' time?  Not sure... therefore, add in "something different' playlist.  We'll see if it gets pushed one notch higher to "love songs" or "ultra romantic'... or "good stuff" at some point... and "classic" in another.  For now, it's "good listening".

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video link.

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When you say...

...nothing at all.
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by PAM


I admit, I can unleash a good string of venomous words... but only when provoked - never willingly, only when provoked by an enraging circumstance and/or frustrated by being in the receiving end of a grossly unjust treatment and/or illogical reasoning by one that just offended me terribly regardless whether purposely or not.  I know, that sounds like a 'string' of lame excuses. Let's just say that I have trouble 'turning the other cheek' sometimes, and that I can't stand arrogant idiots (sorry!) who think so highly of themselves and lazy idiots who refuse to make effort to digest and understand what is being said to them and just do whatever is convenient regardless whose feelings get hurt,

Growing in wisdom can sometimes seem like 
a long and winding road; patience, especially
in one's self, is key to achieving success. 

and who gets thrown in the lion's den to be shredded to pieces.  Okay... did I just admit to being an arrogant idiot myself? Uhm... very sorry. 

A few weeks ago, I was in a 'tangle'... because I put my capability to unleash venomous words to work and, indeed, I was 'awesome' at it!  Bitter sarcasm, hurting words that pierce the heart, insulting words that smash ego, and a dash of 'fancy' words that hinted desire for a closure in a once valued relationship... name your 'fave venom', and I got 'em all in there in a perfect 'cocktail' of bad, bad judgment in the form of well-organized venomous metaphor! Of course, I was 'hungover' the following day!  And when the dizziness subsided, and good judgment illuminated the mind again, then my own heart broke, seeing those pools of tears, drops of blood from a badly wounded heart, and fragments of shattered ideals all over the floor of my 'house of relationships'. So, I had to make amends... in perfect humility and contrition, stripped completely with all sorts of pride. That was possible because love made it so. 

That very moment when contrition was being expressed, my mind got refreshed again of what love truly meant... and what the song "Only love can break your heart" was actually about. And, after taking an agonizing but much needed break from that beautiful bond of perfect love, the pool of tears slowly faded, the wounded hearts slowly healed - hopefully, restored to how they were. Or, better still, yielding brand new hearts that are more

Love is an explosion of colors, amazing 
in variety and intensity, blended in a 
tapestry of breathtaking beauty. 

resilient, more understanding and yielding to the beloveds' happiness, and with room for indiscriminate acceptance of the imperfections of the ones loved... much like the characters of the genius, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Vicky Krieps in the brilliant 2017 film, "Phantom Thread" (91% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes)... but not necessarily in a romantic sort of love narrated in the film, but love of deep friendship between kindred spirits who feel mutual happiness in seeing the other find and enjoy personal happiness.

A few days ago... I was at it again. Burdened by physical and mental fatigue - from all the deep thinking of what to do next after turning 50 years old, and from all the physical activities that were meant to offer a little distraction from all the staggering thinking and weighing of pros and cons of various options, I failed to connect with the 'playful' expression of love and affection. I mistakenly interpret the 'playfulness' to an insult, a sarcasm that belittles what I thought was sincere love - distilled to purity by the ups and downs shared, slamming it to a mere toxic gaseous product of digestion gone bad. So, the venoms floated in my head... but, learning from previous experience, even in extreme frustration and pain, I managed to 'dress up' the

Love is as refreshing as the morning breeze.

venoms with benign words that almost sounded like carefully distilled wisdom - concise and to-the-point.  And, I think, the message reached the other heart in a dizzying blow, but without wounding it nor bruising it.  And, it was its turn to make amends. No words were said... just complete silence that was more profound than any word could ever express.  But I felt the tenderness of the expression of sincere contrition. And, when words were finally spoken, it was like blowing the dust from a plank of wood, revealing words of love carefully engraved on it.

Now, I truly believe, when words are no longer urgently needed to express the profundity of various beautiful and intense feelings... then there is love, and it's real and true. And, it's so utterly beautiful.


***
Image credits:  I own all the photos, which were (1) taken at Glasgow Botanic Garden in Glasgow, Scotland, (2) a piece of my bed cover, and (3) taken at the Spanish Bay in the scenic 17 Mile Drive, along the Pacific Coast in California.

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When the end...

...is a new beginning.
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by PAM


To look to the horizon is very exciting... and yet, as you approach the end of your journey, suddenly, you get hit by sadness.  And you slow down, even pause from your brisk walk towards the 'finish line'.  All of a sudden, you are gripped by an irrepressible longing - for those sweet moments along the way, and you can't help yourself from taking a full stop to reminisce, to go through the memories in your head... as your heart opens up to reveal those beautiful tapestry of emotions - weaved by experience with the thread of love as you walked your path that leads to the horizon.  And then anxiety strikes... and the 'what-ifs' come in full 'attack' to scare you out of your wits, and you coil in sadness, clutching all the memories to your heart.  And yet, where you stopped is not your destiny... albeit comfortable and peaceful.  You look to the horizon once again... and you see the sun setting. And you know, it's now or never!

🎶 "You are my soul satellite, I'd be lost in space without you...

...and I will never lose my faith in you."🎶

And so, you pull yourself together, and let hope overcome sadness and anxiety.  While what can be found at the end of the journey is unknown to you now, that's where the sun sets... and so, there will always be light... and where light is, happiness resides there, too.  

Therefore, with the beautiful memories making your heart happy and excited, you go on... in pursuit of the 'last dot', the 'last piece of the puzzle', the key to constantly reliving the beautiful memories, where you rest in blissful peace... where every emotional ending means a joyful beginning of something more beautiful and happier... but only because it is shared with someone truly special - your 'soul satellite' in this very journey of yours.  

So, you go on... you move on.

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video clip.

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Music trip...

...because the rain continues to pour relentlessly.
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by PAM


I know I have been wishing for more 'rainy mornings', just to enjoy some blissful moment of solitude... away from work, and it all!  But, after spending the whole day, working from  home with the constant pouring of torrential rain, it got boring, too. So, I run to my trusty refuge - from torrential rains... and boredom as a whole: music.

The first one is a great find... a pretty stimulus that brings out the real 'rocker chick' in the hopeless romantic moi! Hahahaha.... 

🎶 "More than words is all you have to do to make it real..."🎶

It's "More than Words" by Extreme, but interpreted by the indomitable frontman of Aerosmith with incredibly ageless voice, Steven Tyler, and the brilliant guitarist of Extreme, Nuno Bettencourt. What a collaboration this was!  Tyler made effort to put restraint to his usually eardrums-piercing high-pitch voice, and the effort resulted to a different sort of energy being injected to the already 'perfect' song, making it a completely different sort of emotional concoction, spread over a beautiful melody.  The guitar accompaniment, provided by Bettencourt, is excellent per Bettencourt's standard. And his singing of the chorus with Tyler and a few lines in the verses was, oh, so lovely.  Swoon!

And, it's true... "more than words is all you have to do to make it real...".  How so very true.  Don't we normally tend to lean on those who make us feel comfortable, welcomed, and, yes, loved?  They may not say the words, and yet, you know that they will be there to catch you if you fall... and it gives you the confidence to dare accept the most intimidating of challenges, to attempt the impossible, to reach for those stars.  No, true love does not need words... maybe, once, just to be sure.  But what makes us feel loved are the little things... the little gestures that convey caring, a cup of steaming coffee waiting for you after a long day in the rain, ham and egg sandwich with warm bun that makes you think that you're smelling delicious aromas from the kitchen of heaven itself, those little bite-size chocolates, energy bars and a jar of nuts beside your laptop in those long days when you have no time at all to rise to grab lunch or dinner, some sweet wishes of good night that comforts you warmly all night long, and those cheerful greetings of good morning that start your day in positive light. Those are more powerful gestures to convey love than just saying "I love you".

I think that music tripping against rain as background will not be complete without Goo Goo Dolls (GGD) howling "Iris" in the rain. 

🎶 "When everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am." 🎶

John Rzeznik's voice is just awesome, rain notwithstanding!  I don't play guitar myself, but all of rock music world knows that Rzeznik's guitar tunings give that distinct sound to GGD's music. They have that irresistible formula, and it always works!  This is why, GGD is one of my 'go-to' bands when I feel like having a 'quick shot' of rock music to keep me going. 

The odd thing is, everytime... and I mean, everytime, I listen to GGD, Matchbox Twenty (M20) comes to mind, too.  And it simply is not possible to listen to, at least, one M20 song. 

🎶 "Well, everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking 'bout somebody else...

...But it's over now, and I don't know how, guess it's over now...

And there's no getting back to good." 🎶

Yes, it's for people who got played for a fool, became someone else's doormat, got humiliated and got terribly hurt... and yet, they still hope something good to come out of that terrible experience.  In the end, when there's nothing else to anchor one's hopes on, because one should have moved on eons ago, then they admit that "there's no getting back to good".  What good that belated realization is for?  Well, not much, really... but when Rob Thomas of M20 sings about it, somehow, such grim scenario feels good.  And I can't help myself, I wish for more.

So, here's more...

  

🎶 "If you're lost, you can look - and you will find me

Time after time...

If you fall, I will catch you - I will be waiting

Time after time..." 🎶

I thought I'd post something that ties up with the first song above I thought M20's version of "Time after time", originally sang by Cyndi Lauper, fits the bill.  I do have mixed feelings about this song though. It isn't as clear as "More than Words".  I'm not sure if such extreme self-sacrifice is romantic love, or if the songs is suggesting friendship... about being there as a friend for someone to rely on.  To me, what is most striking about this enigma of a song is this verse...

🎶 "Sometimes you picture me--

I'm walking too far ahead

You're calling to me, I can't hear

What you've said

Then you say-- go slow--

I fall behind

The second hand unwinds." 🎶 

What does it mean?  Why should one, pictured as walking too far ahead, go slow?  In the first place, why is the other one falling behind?  What kind of relationship is this?  Is it a relationship at all when the two people involved are not shoulder to shoulder with each other as they journey through life?

Uhm, yeah... blame it on the rain! ⛈

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Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

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Rainy morning...

...therefore, time for some 'sappy' love songs.
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by PAM


It's one of those rainy mornings, and work is suspended in the University... so there's time to stay lying in bed, passing the time... just plainly enjoying the blissful 'extra time' in bed - doing nothing, not thinking (too much) about work, and just giving one's self to indulge in daydreaming... and not feeling guilty about it either. Such moment calls for music... something to wrap the moment around with, and shield it from external factors that may shatter the moment. Music makes the moment last, lovelier and more enjoyable.

This came to mind, a suggestion from my 'love song buddy' from a few months ago...

🎶 "...when the world seems so unfair, you can count on me to stay

just take some time to lend an ear

to this ordinary song..." 🎶

It's "Ordinary Song" by the Filipino folk singer, Marc Velasco. It's one of those songs that you don't normally think about, but if you look wider and deeper, you'll find it... sitting inconspicuously on top of a pile of overplayed love songs.  It's beautiful in its simplicity and honesty... so unpretentious and devoid of hype, a lovely serenade - from the heart. This is why, once you find it, it stays in your thoughts... it's almost haunting - but in a good way.

Speaking of 'haunting' - in a  good way, my own addition to this morning's love songs galore is another unforgettable one once heard.  It was sang so beautifully by the British singer and song writer, Beverly Craven, in her most emotionally 'haunting' voice... rendered with the heart-gripping melody in her own superb piano playing as backdrop.    

🎶 "When I go away, I'll miss you

and I will be thinking of you every night and day

Just promise me, you'll wait for me

and I'll be saving all my love for you

and I will be home soon..." 🎶

Aaaww... goodness me, how beautiful!  "A gift to the ears" is how one of Craven's fans call it. I do agree completely. It just makes me want to laze in bed for the longest time, and just enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the wonderful moment! And Craven herself is such a beautiful woman that watching her perform her own song is just so utterly mesmerizing. And her impressive talent and beauty do not fade with age... she is as stunning as ever after all these years.

Ahh, these rainy mornings... don't we wish we have more of them?  I know I do!

***

Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video links.

***

Saturday photo

Birthday greeting... the sweet old fashioned way. 

Still on turning fifty, and receiving presents... I can't help but for my heart to be warmed so sweetly in receiving a lovely birthday card from my former classmates - my "gang" - in college.  The outer cover was a cheerful collage of cute and colorful drawings and 3-D birthday icons: gifts that are wrapped in colorful papers and bows, flowers and butterflies, hearts and twinkling stars. It was a festive piece of artwork, reminding me of my girlish sentiments

A colorful suprise that touches a fifty-year-old heart. 

in those good old days of fantasies and make-believes... just beautiful, it warms the heart.  

And I thought that the sweetness ends there. I opened the card, and my eyes were treated once again to a collage of warm sweetness and pretty colors, but this time, they are accompanied by fun little messages of encouragement and hope on turning fifty years old!  And the colorful backdrop was adorned with names of people that I love from so long ago... my College friends: my friends, my "gang"!  It was impossible not to crack into a smile... the kind that originates from the heart, and goes full circle to touch all possible positive emotions and reside in the heart, burning with a warmth that felt incredibly good.  

In my sweet reverie, I failed to focus on the music that played cheerfully in the background as I reminisce the good old days. I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me... until my gaze fell on twinkling red letters that said "happy birthday". The timing of the cute twinkle seemed to sync with the tempo of the cheerful monophonic tune that plays in the background... 🎶 "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you... "🎶 I can't help myself... it made me smile happily and hummed along.   

And then, it struck me so warmly. It was a musical birthday greeting card!! Hahahaha... who sends these things anymore these days? So very thoughtful!  And I was flooded so warmly by some lovely nostalgic feels, and it was awesomely beautiful! Yes, I did feel loved, and cared for... suddenly, the age does not matter at all. Only this... only this feeling of love is all that matters. 

Ah, to be fifty! 

***

Saturday photo

It's the little things... made with gigantic and sincerest of goodwill and love...
that are the most special things.

It's been a beautiful day... and the most perfect of all evenings in my life!  I should love to write about this evening here in this little corner of mine some other time.  What's the occasion?  Actually, it's my 50th birthday celebration - the fulfillment of a promise.  There I said it... I just turned 50 years old!  In the meantime, I wish to express appreciation of this little present that I received from my little 'minions'. 😊

It was very surprising, to say the least. You'd expect these kids to try to act as grown up, and choose to give a present that shows how smart they are in figuring out what you wish to have... all expensive and pretty.  But not these little minions of mine.  They chose to

The simplest but sweetest of presents... made with thoughtfulness,
the deepest of affection and kind understanding. 

give the smallest of panda stuffed toy, fitted in a whole young coconut with empty shell, hence, calling it "buko panda", reminiscent of their favorite dessert, "buko pandan".  Clutched by the little panda in its short arms and legs were sweet hand-written messages, expressing the minions' wishes for me... as I approach old age! 😜

Not inside the buko was a little 'black accordion book' of memories, covered with a print of vintage stamps (who uses stamps anymore these days?).  Each panel of the little accordion book was adorned with photo/s of the minions in groups... all smiling adorably.  The little minion who made the book of memories said, "when you're sad, just have a look at our photos. Hopefully, they would make your heart happy and bring  smile to your lips," or something to that effect.  This minion knows how stressed out I could get sometimes... how frustrated I feel sometimes... and how 'angry' I get over silly things that are blown out of proportion by many absurd people with absurd agenda.  Yes, 'grown up stuff'... but they are made light and bearable by the sunny perspective of these adorable young people.  They bring the rainbow to me on rainy days... and I feel incredibly lucky!  What's not to love?  

I've grown old, yes... in age, and in emotions, but not necessarily in wisdom - I'm still working on that.  Yes, I've grown old, but I remain 'work in progress'.  But I do feel that I've become 'calmer'... kinder, happier... and definitely more capable of love - the simplest, least complicated, and sincerest of love.  It's all thanks to these 'minions' of mine.  They bring out the best in me... it may not be that side of me that wants to 'win everything', but that side that wants to be a good person.  That side that wants to be better every single day... the side of me that wants to continuously journey in God's blissful will, propelled by genuine happiness, inspired by love, and fueled by hope and joy.   And that side is fast becoming all of me... and it's all thanks to these adorable 'kids'. 💖

Yes, I am fifty years old... and I am absolutely content, and truly happy!  Thanks be to God!


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