At Dove Dr., Ithaca, NY; East of Cornell University campus in Ithaca
I feel like I only took this photo a few days back. It's incredible that it's been almost four years already since I took this photo! That's right, four and I am seeing it again only just now.
I once vacationed at my sister's place in the US. She and her husband took me with them in their winter vacation around The Rockies. We went on a long drive, stopping here and there... and it was exhilarating! I remember my brother-in-law commenting about the 'tons' of photos that I took wherever we went. I just can't help myself... I felt the need to document the experience, and the quickest way to do that is through photos. After taking 'tons' of photos, I usually get so overwhelmed that I am unable to make up my mind about which ones to keep and which ones to discard. I end up keeping all! And in our trip around The Rockies, it drove my sister and her husband crazy!
Ithaca, NY is an extremely beautiful place! Well, the Fingerlakes Region where Ithaca is located is, indeed, a beautiful place! And whenever I come for a visit after graduation, I usually stay at the Eastern part of the campus where Filipino friends lived. I usually stay with a family whose house is located up a hill, right next to the Equestrian facilities of Cornell, overlooking the planes of Cayuga... and where the sunset is mesmerizing!
The skies seem to be just a few meters above your head, and the clouds make a dramatic transition as the sun sets in the horizon, and the skies begin to darken... but only after it explodes in countless colors of utter beauty. It takes my breath each time. And it makes praying the Angelus all that meaningful and all that impassioned.
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Image credit: The photo in this post belongs to me. I took it.
'The Tree' is up, and it radiates warmth and coziness. đź’–
And so, here we are... well, almost there, anyway. We are closing in, almost locking it in - locking in the holidays. First, 'the Angel' took its rightful place at the receiving area of our home, and so did the deers.
Across them, stood our 'mini' Nativity Scene. And then, amid the twinkling lights, the recreation of the Christmas Star that led the Three Wise Men to the Manger where the King was born shone by our door, illuminating the little Nativity. Then the Advent Wreath took its place. At this point, all the major spiritual aspects of the celebration were taken care of. So, it was time to put up the symbol of 'merrymaking'. It was time to put up the Christmas Tree!
Just like last year, I was in-charge of Christmas decorations in our 2nd home. I like this 'assignment'. Therefore, I accepted it with open arms and with much delight. And, when it was time to put up the Christmas Tree, I took my sweet time. I decided to string the lights first and maneuvered them around the Tree. Then, all the usual ornaments that define the theme of our family's merrymaking took their place around the Tree followed. They are followed by the 'special' ornaments, which have deeper meaning for the family, slowly dotted the Tree. And then the gifts started to appear at the foot of the Tree... which heralded the spirit of giving, and receiving, too, in this Season of Joy, Hope and Love. I hope to post something regarding Christmas gift-giving one of these days.
I really love the warmth and coziness that Christmas as a family-centered occasion brings. For our family, it's an occasion where seeing and being with family members is guaranteed. I always look forward to it. And, in challenging times through the year, I have Christmas to hope for and to inspire to keep going. Of course, we are aware of the 'commercialization' of the occasion... and, ironically, this is connected with
gift-giving, which is a major basis of the spirit of Christmas: love... giving love, that is. I do believe that how we design our Christmas decorations can set the tone of our desire to celebrate the birth of Christ, our Savior - the greatest gift of all to humanity. And this is why, no matter how challenging in terms of finding time to carry out decorating tasks, I always do my best... and I always enjoy, too!
This year, to add to memories of Christmas, I added Christmas Tree ornaments from one of my favorite stores: Flying Tiger (FT). I am happy that there is one FT store close to our home. And, I have to confess that one of my favorite 'me time' is spending long periods just browsing the cute but practical items that they have. It's fascinating! So, naturally, FT becomes a part of our Christmas this year in terms of our Christmas decor. I am sure that it will add to how wonderful this season is for all of us!
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Image credit: All photos featured in this post belong to me. I took them all using my own camera.
Sunday is the day of putting faith front and center. Sunday is the day when we spend at least an hour in the Church to partake of the Word for the sustenance of our souls. And after that soulful celebration of the Word of God, it's time to nurture the body with healthy and delicious food.
This Sunday, I 'feasted' with a bowl of traditional Filipino comfort food: the arroz caldo. This has many versions. What I had was that warm soupy rice porridge cooked in rich chicken broth with onion and powdered black pepper. The rich porridge was topped with pulled lean chicken meat, halved egg, chopped fresh spring onion, and crunchy browned garlic. A halved calamansi was provided on the side to render citrus flavor to the mix, which heightens the already mouth-watering combination of flavors and aroma.
Each spoonful of Arroz Ecija's version of the arroz caldo tasted not only of that familiar Filipino mindfulness of carefully measured flavors with nutrition, and the intentional joy of eating, but also of nostalgia. As a child, the arroz caldo was my Lola and Mama's warm embrace and love, expressed in delicious food, whenever we were sick. We were spoon-fed with that rich rice porridge, cooked with thinly sliced ginger
A mix of goodness, crunch and freshness
and ground black pepper, and the very tender chicken meat, freshly pulled from the bone - absolutely delicious! It was their 'magic potion' of getting well and feeling loved. Ah, love... we had so much of that as children. And that shaped us into what we are today, and we are grateful.
The 'feast' this Sunday did not end with that tasteful lunch but continued on with another nutritious bowl of goodness but this time a homey concoction of mine: green-and-lean and many more in between. It is my salad bowl for dinner. It has lots of greens, fresh fruits, nuts and slices of smoked ham, tied together by a drizzle of my own version of the Thousand Island dressing. It was delicious: salty and sweet, lots of crunch, colorful and flavorful, interesting and refreshing.
Ah, to be a foodie... on a Sunday - what a joy!
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Image credit: All the photos in this post belongs to me. I took them all.
One of my fave breakfast combinations to prepare (and eat)... easy, healthy, filling.
These days, I prepare my own breakfast... I really have no choice though. It was a big effort in the beginning because it meant that I had to get up about an hour earlier than I need to. I needed time to prepare, cook... and then later, had to wash all the stuff I used for cooking - the hardest part... an ordeal, if I'm being honest. The thing though is, once the dishes and pans were done, I felt like I can take on anything that the day would throw my way, and that is a great feeling!
Now, I still feel harassed... just thinking about washing pans and pots - no, I do not have a dishwasher, and it is not 'a thing' in the Philippines. Lately though, I have developed breakfast menu, some of which lower the energy expenditures in washing pots and pans but do not compromise nutritive quality. An example is the breakfast in the featured photo today - one of my faves, actually. The ham and cheese sandwich has enough carbs, proteins and fats that would last me all morning. The apple slices and greens are loaded with vitamins and dietary fibers as well as minerals, such as the important potassium and calcium. Of course, this breakfast has enough caffeine in the 400-mL coffee. The 250-mL mango juice can seal us with a load of Vitamin C protection. And, by the way, this includes water, too... although not in the photo, sorry. The most important thing is, it only takes about 15 to 20 minutes to prepare (based on my very slow pace in the morning), and the pan almost does not need washing - minimal residue.
So, yeah, I love this breakfast combination... I have many more 'breakkies' that I can share in the coming days. Exciting!
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Image credit: The featured photo is my own, I took it.
Our (first) Christmas Angel in our secondary home is... uhm, Danish.
Perhaps, it is more fitting to categorize this post as a 'Saturday Photo' given how the photo above is featured prominently. I decided not to categorize this post as such since rather than the photo itself, I wish to focus more on the meaning of the photo and its relevance in the coming very important season - the Season of Advent, more popularly known as the 'Christmas Season'.
Yes, we are now at the cusp of the 'most wonderful time of the year'. As soon as the New Year started, we began the countdown to Christmas Day! We started saving to buy presents for our family members, friends and colleagues. We can't wait for the day when we are given the 'season's permission' to hop from one party to another to meet and celebrate with friends and family. Of course, there are birthdays and other celebrations in between. But as soon as Halloween comes to pass, we dash to unearth our Christmas lights and bunch of decor, and we wait giddily for the weekend when we can coax our family members to 'deck the hall with boughs of holly' to the tune of Jose Mari Chan's undying hit song, "Christmas in our hearts" - on repeat.
At our home though, the very first Christmas reminder that we put on display is our golden Christmas Angel because, to us, Christmas begins when the "Angel of God declared unto Mary" that she was to conceive by the Holy Spirit. And through the Virgin Mary's obedience and Love of God expressed in her words to the archangel Gabriel, "be it done to me according to your word", and through the faith, obedience and love of St. Joseph, 'the word was made flesh and dwelt among us'. And 'the Word' is Jesus Christ, and his birth is the great act of Love by the Father for us all. Therefore, Jesus is the embodiment of the greatest Love of all. And this is the Christmas Story - a story of Love. We give homage to this Love everyday through our small deeds of love and by reciting the Angelus - our late father's favorite prayer... which became ours, too. And this is why, we always begin the celebration of Christmas by lighting up our Christmas angel.
In our secondary home, we do not have a golden angel figure... but I found a lovely Christmas card at the Flying Tiger store located in a Mall close to our 'Home #2'. The store carries pretty but
Our little friends from the North Pole.
functional items made in Copenhagen, Denmark where the store originated. Having lived in Lund, Sweden for a year, where Copenhagen was just a 15-min boat ride away, the vibrant Danish capital has become one of my favorite Scandinavian cities. And so, when I was looking for new Christmas decor, I had to check out Flying Tiger. And, true enough, I immediately found what I was looking for - a Christmas Angel, beautifully rendered in a greeting card!
In front of the olive green card is an image of an angel clothed in a cream paper mache against white flat paper. Its wings are made of red paper mache against flat white paper, too. It is a beautifully artistic angel in Christmas colors of subdued tone - very Danish. I found a nice white frame and a pretty string of lights in the same store. And so, in an instant, I found our Christmas Angel for our 'Home #2'. As a bonus, I also found white-tailed deers in Santa hats... and, right there and then, I knew that our Christmas this year will have a touch of Scandinavia... and it's cool!
We are excited about Christmas, and we are excited about celebrating it at our 'Home #2'. We hope for the best in this Season of God's Great Love to all of us. Specifically, we hope for the best for our country, the Philippines... may we all conquer the towering challenges in front of us through our faith and the magical Christmas Season!
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Image Credit: All photos belong to me asI took all of them.
As my sister and I try to work on our new little secondary home to transform it to a place of some coziness that nurtures the soul and feeds creativity and good vibes, I have been checking out a few YouTube channels on sustainable living in 'tiny' homes. When I think about purchasing a piece of furniture or the smallest of kitchenware for the house, I usually ask myself, "will this help me attain my goal towards sustainable and meaningful living?" And, it's amazing how a simple question like that leads me to re-thinking my spending, consumption... and overall priorities. Most of the time, I end up simplifying my needs (and wants) and assessing whether such needs (and wants... again) can be addressed by what I already have at home... and I think that's meaningful.
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Simplicity, creativity, peace, mindfulness... joy
One of the things that I am learning these days is that simple living is not about choosing the 'boring path'. In fact, it is the exact opposite! We live simply in order that our resources can be spent on experiences that are meaningful and memorable... and this usually is a great adventure! The mere act of simplification, is an adventure in itself because it is about learning new things and using these things to design a more 'integrated' life where everything is a part of a whole, a whole that fits the wholeness of one's being. Each time one uses a furniture or an appliance at home, it is not a mere act satisfying an immediate need - a need to lie down, a need to sit, a need to boil water... but it's a deliberate step towards sustainable living. And I think that, over time, that develops to mindfulness. And when one is mindful, every step brings inner peace... and joy. And because joy is infectious, one can plant a seed of 'shareable' joy that, over time, can transform the world... hopefully.
So, how does one begin a less wasteful, more integrated life of simplicity that is abundant in adventure and joy, and definitely not lacking in style and elegance? I learned that it all begins from a 'decluttered' life. After listening to many lectures and vlogs on YouTube on the joy of decluttered
At the receiving room, a splash of colors.
life and trying to actually live what I listen to, I am learning that abundance in life does not necessarily mean having tons and tons of material possessions... limited edition this, limited release that, deluxe edition this, and what have you! It's all about being creative in maximizing the use of the few but high-quality things that we have, and drawing joy from the results of the effort. Therefore, choosing our material possessions should be thought of with care, creativity and imagination... bearing in mind that 'we only need one', and we choose that one with the most potential of becoming a classic - in functionality and elegance.
In curating our home with simple possessions, one of the things that satisfy the 'we only need one' mindful mantra is multi-functionality... well, for obvious reason. The other is the integration with other pieces in the house. And one of the most fun in the integration process is blending textures, colors, patterns and forms or shapes. Say, a wooden chair in classic Scandinavian minimalist design with a cushion in the color of sage green, matched with a throw pillow with a cover of playful colors and design, and the chair located against a background of understated but refreshing grayish green curtain with an inner layer of sheer panels of minimalistic design, letting in light from the windows that amplifies the calming but playful harmony of the integrated design. Form, patterns, colors, texture... a harmony that fills the home with joy and optimism. Everyday, when I sit on that chair to sip my morning coffee while checking messages from my family on my phone, I cannot help but smile at the pretty colors that seem to greet me and wish me a good day. And, indeed, the joy from every word that I receive from my family is amplified by my surroundings.
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And among them all, texture...
As I continue to learn about integrated designs, and keeping the pieces at home embrace one another through colors, patterns, forms and textures for harmonious vibes, I find texture as the
At the TV/family room... cozy, colorful and pleasing... but inexpensive.
most fascinating. I am discovering that even when we have the same color in one place, just in varying shades, the design can remain interesting rather than predictable, and fun rather than boring and monotonous, by blending different textures. This is the theme that I have been experimenting on in our small family/TV room. I have most of the pieces in predominantly sage to grayish green with little surprises of yellow against white. And yet, the varying textures seem to give the room a character... an inviting vibes that encourages one to relax and just enjoy... and let the various textures provide harmony, and fun, too.
These days, I do not only see the interesting effects of texture in the items and plants in vases of varying shapes found in the interior of the house. I also see it outside the house, in our small garden at the front yard, and plant patches around the house. The velvety texture of the petals of flowers against a lush background of gently spiky leaves that seem to explode from the coarse branches that playfully extend here and there, restrained only by the roots held tightly by the healthy and giving soil... they all constitute a most interesting blends and layers of textures. Just watching the plants sway with the gentle breeze in a lazy afternoon, the flower petals occasionally allow the breeze to take them in a most graceful dance in the air can give so much calm, contentment and joy.
Outside, a butterfly is having a 'field day' while a bright orange flower 'smiles' broadly.
Ah, joy... this is what a simple and 'decluttered' life is all about. We become more aware of the 'textural beauty' around us, and it fills our hearts with joy. I guess this is what it means to live joyfully in a decluttered environment at home, we become focused on what is more important, beautiful and worth our while.
It's been 'raining cats and dogs'... again. Big drops of rain are pouring out of the sky, escaping the swollen thickness of air like desperate prisoners unleashing that unquenchable thirst for dear freedom. Thunderbolt and lightning echo the rains' desperation to drench the land left feverish by summertime.
In all those waves of mother nature's emotion, what called my attention was this little sulfur cosmos (cosmos sulphureus) flower at our backyard that was gracefully braving all that deluge of nature's anguish. One might think that after hours and hours of rain, the poor little flower would be falling apart from carrying the weight of all the raindrops on its petals... but it did not. It stayed upright, it remained pretty. It swayed with the wind, sometimes dodging a gigantic raindrop in the process, but it held on steadfastly. Its color remained sunny and cheerful... all eight petals unruffled and the pretty orange disk floret remained intact, punctuating the cheery color of the petals in contrast of their own that was quite fiery. And the flower is surrounded by the lush green leaves of the cosmos plant.
This resilient little flower is a beautiful reminder that no matter what the situation is, no matter how harsh and challenging, one's natural goodness can remain intact. And, when we focus on that goodness, we can remain good... no matter the relentless waves of emotional challenge around us. This is because our goodness is from God... God who is the being of goodness.
And, as we embrace our goodness - God's goodness, we can be beautifully delicate and vulnerable... but beautifully resilient, too... amid harshness.
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Image credit: The photo in this post belongs to me. I took it using my old Samsung Galaxy Note 9.
Yup, it's been quite confusing lately. We have a second home in a place outside Metro-Manila that is also within "MegaMetro-Manila", and which is close to my workplace 'annex'. So, I have been spending most of my time in the second home. Whenever I need to be in the main workplace, however, I go back to our first home. And when I need to shuttle back-and-forth between the old and new home, when people ask, "are you going home," I would not know exactly how to answer.
So, where is home, really? I guess, this song has the answer...
🎶"But don't think of me not being around
Just listen for the sweet, sweet sound
of the taxi pulling up the driveway
I'm coming home soon..."🎶
I guess it's about where your presence is awaited and welcomed... and where you feel awaited and welcomed. Home is where you are surrounded by love - in many forms, through many forms. Sometimes through the presence of family members, sometimes through the bits and pieces that evoke warm memories shared with loved ones, sometimes its the delicious smell of fresh cooking or that smell of cleanliness and freshness that seems to hug you to rejuvenation... many forms, indeed. All lovely, cozy forms.
Therefore, whether I was in our place in Metro-Manila or in Mega-Metro-Manila (or even in Pangasinan where I was born... or in New York where I studied and where I became the person that I am now), I'd be home. And I am glad.
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Oh, and about the song...
I came across the song "Coming Home Soon" (CHS) by Adam Woodall by binge-watching the Hallmark drama series "Chesapeake Shores" (CS) on Netflix while I was convalescing from a bad, bad case of flu, and it's all I can do not to go insane from boredom and frustration. CHS is the theme song of CS.
"Chesapeake Shores" is a Hallmark series that started to air on Hallmark Channel in 2016, and streamed internationally on Netflix. I've heard so much about it then but I just can't be bothered. I was a 'woman on a mission', and paying attention to fiction-on-TV was not my cup of tea that time. Well, unless it was Star Trek... and the likes. Well, of course, knowing what I know now, I should've enjoyed life more then... and didn't give too many pieces of myself... to the carnivorous vultures that pretended to be gentle doves of peace. Now that I can no longer retrieve those little pieces, I had to learn to grow more of myself within to fill out the voids and be stronger than ever. It's not easy but it's only a matter of time now and the 'new version' of myself should be ready to roll.
And so, the lyrics of CHS fit how, after living a 'life on the road' for so long, Trace finally returns home to Chesapeake Shores to fulfill a dream that was mostly inspired by his love and early relationship with Abby. They broke up when, after High School, Abby moved to New York without saying goodbye. Trace followed his dream to New York but found her involved with someone else - the person she married, and with whom she shared two daughters. He moved to Nashville where he found success. Meanwhile, in New York City, Abby became successful in her career at Wall Street, but got divorced. As she became a single Mom and was forced to resign from her position of power at work, she sought solace with family at home in Chesapeake Shores. She found Trace rebuilding his life, after a tumultuous fast life in Nashville, and retracing the root of his music's inspiration.
Abby and Trace came home to Chesapeake Shores... and, as fate would have it, they came home to each other. It was sweet... beautiful and touching. Until the story went this way and that... and beautiful it no longer was. The theme song remained beautiful though... a good reason to keep binge-watching.
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Alright, so... Chesapeake Shores
I liked Season 1. Seasons 2 was a decent follow-up for Season 1's success. However, into Seasons 3 and 4... it started to feel drab... and exhausting as binge-watching goes, especially that storyline on Abby and Trace... and Jesse Metcalfe's one-dimensional portrayal of Trace's character. It became agonizingly boring towards Season 4, and it almost brought the whole series down the drain. Well, for me. Add to that Emilie Ullerup's overacting portrayal of the queen of overthinking, Bree O'Brien - too annoying. Everytime she was on screen, I felt that my energy gets zapped by all the facial expression and tone somersaults, argh. Also, the back-and-forth emotional turmoil of Jess O'Brien (Laci J. Mailey) was quite unbearable... it was almost painful to watch David Peck (played by Carlo Marks) fall for her and put up with all that waste of emotional energy... he deserved better. But, my goodness, Jess was so ethereally lovely though! She had the most exquisite pair of eyes. So, it's almost easy to forgive the mushy character. Not that Ullerup was not beautiful because she was... just overacting, that's all. Still, by Season 3, I almost gave up on the entire Series! Thank goodness for Abby and Mick O'Brien, portrayed very well by Meghan Ory and Treat Williams, respectively, there was some respite from all the poorly acted melodrama. By Season 4 and into Season 5, aside from Ory and Williams, I believe it was Andrew Francis (Connor O'Brien) that did most of the heavy weight lifting in the acting division. Francis' Connor just shown through and just made his way to the surface of strength of character - very good character development and acting there. The sweet and low key story subplot about Kevin, and Sarah, who became his wife, was also kind of easy to watch. Brendan Penny is such a reliable actor. He did a very good job, and he managed to make his character interesting without awkwardly 'stealing' the limelight like... yeah, Bree O'Brien.
By Season 5, Hallmark saw the light, and eliminated the character of Trace Riley. Hurrah! Trace was becoming Abby's biggest 'child' that, by the end of Season 4, both Abby's daughter, Carrie and Caitlyn, have outgrown him. Yep, that storyline was all that drab. But the show runners introduced another big mistake though, Jay Ross (Greyston Holt) as a romantic character opposite Abby - man, not again! And then, on Episode 3, Evan Kincaid (Robert Buckley), like a (weird) knight in a shining armor (well, more like Under Armour, actually) came on board to save the entire Series, making Jay Ross fade to oblivion! Buckley's Evan - an eccentric self-made billionaire was a breath of fresh air. His strong and commanding presence, and pushy-without-sounding-like-it-because-he-is-humurous-and-charming ways made Abby bristle, bringing up the very best of Meghan Ory in the acting division. They had a very, very good chemistry - it didn't feel forced. Their banters were so funny with Buckley's well-timed punchlines, and Ory's spirited returns. I felt like I was in the same room, participating in the conversation. I found myself laughing out loud whenever they are on screen together and bantering in high spirits, and especially when Mandrake (Wesley Salter), Evan's enigma of a chauffeur, was also involved. It was beautiful! Mick and Evan had a very good chemistry, too. Their scenes together were easy, brilliant and, at times, surprisingly touching.
See, it worked! Season 5 was like the renaissance of CS. Everybody seemed to be at his/her best in Season 5. Bree was not as annoyingly overacting as she was in the first four Seasons. There were moments when she was actually funny, relatable... and, yeah, loveable. Surely, Luke Tatum (Stephen Huszar) had a lot to do with it. Luke did a very good job taming the wildly emotion-somersaulting queen of overthinking. And if Bree can have that reinvented version of herself, imagine all the rest of the characters! Perhaps, Ullerup went on an acting workshop, huh? Good for her! But I gotta say, Ory was at her best - in acting and in looks - just gorgeous! I can say the same for Connor. In fact, S5E3 was my favorite, not just because Evan was introduced in that episode but because Connor, the awesome lawyer that he became, was unveiled in that episode, too. See? All Hallmark had to do was get rid of Trace. Too harsh? Uhm, okay, sorry!
I will certainly post more about Chesapeake Shores... although the final Season, Season 6, aired from August to October 2022, I am kind of wishing that Hallmark gives us another Season... or better yet, a spin-off. C'mon, Hallmark, we want us more Evan Kincaid here! And we want to see how little Mickey turned out. Let's go, Hallmark!
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Video credit: The owner is indicated in the video itself. Thanks, YouTube, for the link.
the words I never got to say the first time around...
if the whole world is watching I'd still dance with you...
...everything comes back to you." 🎶
I just returned from a trip to New York City after, I dunno... three years... since my last visit? Yeah, that sounds about right... three years. And, as I tiredly lie in my own bed after several nights of sleeping on hotel and guest beds (a story for another post), the song "This Town" by Niall Horan comes to mind.
I gotta say... I missed New York City. It hasn't changed too much since my last visit... it was still very crowded and many parts still stank from tons of garbage and all that... but it remained awesome, so alive, so vibrant, so larger than life!
I hope to visit again at some point... but just to hang out with friends and family rather than to visit for work. Until then, I'll hum along Niall's sincerity with a beautiful tune.
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Video credit: The owner is indicated in the video. Thanks, YouTube, for the video link.
"Our quiet approach to life, our need for solitary time, isn't a flaw. It's a gift...
The unique attributes of introverts really are deep, quiet strength."
Introvert from the beginning... is the beginning
I used to live with my maternal grandparents when I was growing up. My grandmother then was so worried about how 'shy' I was, and how I usually preferred going with my grandfather in the fields and watch him farm from under a tree with our dog while perusing my Mother's old picture books rather than play with my cousins and other kids in our neighborhood. It wasn't true that I preferred being in the fields with my grandpa and that I was shy. I enjoyed being in the field, that's for sure, but only because I felt that the silence energized me. I consider those days that I spent with my grandpa to be some of the most enjoyable days of my childhood. He allowed me to be comfortable 'living in my own head' with the most beautiful of imaginations. And, I imagined, he himself enjoyed those moments in the field where he can be alone with his thoughts. When we ate lunch together in those beautiful fields of eggplants and tomatoes at summertime, we usually had quiet conversations. I enjoyed his stories about the years he spent in Guam, USA as a farmer, which he told in his calm and retrospective voice. When I grew up, I realized that those were some of the most memorable and most influential conversations I've had as a child. In fact, I learned my first English word from my grandfather in one of those conversations. The word was "salt"... and he used it in many contexts. My grandpa's sister, whenever she visited from Guam, and saw my grandpa and I walking home from the fields, she usually commented, "there they are, the odd pair of introverts."
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Anti-social vs. Introvert
In my past few posts here, I have been mentioning how I very much enjoy solitude. Yes, I am usually alone these days - both at work and at home (my second home, that is), but I am never lonely. I usually have 'a party in my head', which keeps me stimulated and entertained. In these parties, my brain is at its most creative. It gives wings to my soul as my soul soars in a truly beautiful vision of blue sky and feelings as soft as the gentlest of breeze - something that I never experience when talking (well, listening, mostly) to other people who are convinced that they have the most intelligent and the most important things to say (or write and share on social media). Whenever I have to 'party with others', I often find myself wishing to end the event midway through, and plotting to gun for the nearest exit. And so, I usually dread opening emails that 'require' me to accept an invitation to this event and that. I do enjoy a few gatherings... small ones - safe ones, or ones that allow me to stay with a small circle of like-minded people - a safe company. In most cases, I'd much rather return to my workplace, work quietly, and be more productive... except that finding my center of productivity after socializing or attending a meeting with more than one person usually requires a massive effort, and takes a very long time, too. An agony, truly; one that I do my best to avoid these days.
Many people, myself included, used to think that I was an 'antisocial'... but as I study anti-socialism and introversion, I am convinced that my grandpa's sister was right. I am, indeed, an introvert. And the older I get, it becomes more difficult to recover from socialization to reach a point where I can breathe easy. These days, I crave solitude more and more. Age might have something to do with it, too. In any case, I feel I am at my most creative when I work in solitude -- then and now... more so now. I feel that I can, indeed, 'gently shake the world' with the product of my soaring imagination borne from those 'parties in my brain'. And, as I do, I become more and more comfortable with the person that I am, the work and the role that I am meant to perform, the results that slowly crystallize as I distill my thoughts from all the noise around me, and the outcomes of my efforts from implementing distilled ideas quietly. I truly believe this is wonderful... except that many of my peers, or those who sit higher than where I sit, usually think that I probably believe that I do not have ideas bright enough for them to support, and this is why I avoid tossing my ideas on the table when everyone does with the loudest thud. If they only pay attention to, or muster the courage to overcome their bias and give me enough credit for the actual results of my verbally unexpressed ideas but actually implemented silently with much tenacity, they'd know that I am not as empty and weak as they believe just because I don't participate in their loud verbal sparring that they enjoy so much... but the work that follows, they enjoy - not so much... but I do.
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Soulful introversion
And those 'parties in my brain'... they take place in the cadence of heartfelt, beautiful prayers. And what are heartfelt prayers but silent conversations with God? And that is why I prefer them over those stressful loud verbal sparring where everyone seeks to be the one who had the last word. They tire me to the tips of my toenails.
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