QOTD #32: On fear, courage... and love.
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by PAM
"Man, I was... I was terrified. I tried drinking, you know, make it all go away, but... it didn't work. Nothing did. Then I realized a good Marine doesn't act in the absence of fear. They act in the face of it. So, I did."
- Jack Sheridan (Martin Henderson), 'Virgin River' S6:E3
Yep, it's one of those weekends when there is so much to digest and reflect on because the whole week has been a 'colorful collage' of many important events, many of which were challenging, a handful were stressful and tiring, and some quite sobering.
So, yep, I had a week of emotional roller coaster filled with intellectual 'adventures' and leadership puzzles, and personal realizations. Unlike Jack Sheridan - the lead character played by Martin Henderson in the Netflix series, 'Virgin River', though, who was also faced with a colorful barrage of dangerous encounters as a Marine captain and thereafter, I didn't try drinking - I never will. I do understand the fear - the unsettling awareness of the danger that lies ahead, and how it can strike at any moment. It doesn't help that I tend to overthink things sometimes...
When I was younger, I was usually unafraid to take on 'fearsome matters' just because I believed... no, I knew, I knew then that the more fearsome the challenges were in front of us, the greater the learning - whether the challenge was surmounted or not. Therefore, 'acting in the face of fear', and acting with the best possible decision under the circumstances, always brought the most satisfying outcome - win or lose.
These days, after learning so much from previous experiences, I have been losing my appetite for facing danger and all the monstrosity that comes with it. Not that I am afraid... I remain unafraid. Let's just say that I am more in touch with my mortality these days... and given all the time I spent in facing danger and the excitement of 'acting in the face of it' in a thankless job, I am now more inclined to the quiet, 'less exciting' life. I guess the thankless nature of my job is the biggest factor of danger that I usually faced (and still face), and the biggest reason why the 'appetite' dwindles and it inclines somewhere else. I now enjoy getting home before the sun sets, cooking and savoring freshly cooked meals, watering the plants and almost literally watching them grow... and just enjoying a quiet evening without so many things racing in my head, and keeping me awake all night. Many people say, I'll get bored and will soon crave the 'dangerous life'. So far, my interest keeps inclining somewhere else.
These days, spending 'busy' weeks are so unbelievably stressful for me even when such weeks are actually just a 'walk-in-the-park when compared with my pursuits back in the days when I was the equivalent of Jack Sheridan's Marine captain in my Academic Unit in the University. I guess my passion for dangerous pursuits has dwindled... or, I may need a new scenario to rekindle my appetite for slaying danger and all the monstrosities that come with it. And just exactly how will I do that? Okay, now... that might just be the equivalent of 'acting in the face of danger'. And my pulse quickens.... 💓🙏
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Image credit: The image in this post is from Netflix through Entertainment Weekly - thanks both.
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