Morning ritual...

...augurs well to a great day!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo

Ritual recipe: some coffee, a lot of Math, a little bling... and Goo Goo Dolls in the background!


It was another one of those days when a lecture heavy on Math was to be delivered, and the best way to make it look delicious to the students was to discuss an application in Food Processing. The topic was the Permeate Flux Model based on the Film Theory in Pressure-Driven Membrane Separation. The application? Ultrafiltration of milk and whey, of course! :)

While the lecture preparation can become gruelling sometimes, answering the tough question of how to garnish those prime cuts of technical meat with artistic touches via Powerpoint for an effective knowledge transfer, mine slides quite nicely with some Goo Goo Dolls lubrication. :) My mind stays alert throughout the cook-out by the periodic sips of that "stay-awake" potion called café and headache is shooed away by breathing air saturated with the potion's aroma. And to soften the all-tough task, I turn the fashionista volume in me a few notches up with a little bling! :) And so, the lecture becomes a fabulous concoction of all things tough, delicious and beautiful - absolutely irresistible! :)

For a while now, I have been happily savoring the sweetness of multilingualism in the Scientific World, speaking the ultimate language of Engineering - Math, the alphabet of Natural Sciences - Chemistry, and the fuel of human life - Food Science and Technology. It is a professional arsenal that is defined by the equation: Chemical Engineering + Food Science and Technology = Food (Process) Engineering, which basically is the yummy application of Math, with a huge serving of Chemistry - on the side... and I love it! :)

Life is good... finger lickin' good! ;)

***

Sisterly bonding... shopping + eats

Girls just wanna have fun... and when sports won't do, shopping + eats certainly will! :)
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


So, after almost a couple of months, I finally spent a Saturday afternoon not glued in front of the TV tuned in to the Sports Channel - watching either tennis or soccer, relaxing. :) The US Open wrapped up last week... the Davis Cup is on, and the UEFA qualifying rounds are on, too... but I wanted a breath of Mall and Restaurant air for a change - so to the Mall and restaurant I went with two sisters - in our house clothes, too! Talk about "relax"! :)

***
Shopping

So, on an older sister's suggestion, we went to check out the "Homeworld Warehouse Sale" at the SM Megatrade Hall together with a younger sister! Older sis "abandoned" her husband for the weekend to go bargain hunting with us! :) We found good items... I invested on some wooden furnitures - beautiful and artsy ones... and more than 50% off on their sky-high prices, too! So, I got a very good deal! :) That's the great news... the not-so-great news is that I will have to wait 10 days to have my purchases delivered. But that's fine 'cause I requested the manufacturers to give the pieces a retouch here and there to get rid of a few indiscreet scratches - maybe the reason why they were on sale. And, I think between me and my two sisters, we bought a gazillion of curtains! =) We got 50% off on most items - quite nice, too. So, yeah... we went a little crazy. :) But hanging our finds on our windows later made us feel that all five hours of squeezing ourselves through that intimidating "mob" of "ferocious" bargain hunters was worth every single hour! :)

***
Eats

We originally planned to dine at some fancy place at "The Podium" - some plush place at the Ortigas Business Center. However, after depositing our purchases in the car, we were just too excited to see how the curtains would look like on our windows. :) So, we decided to just go ahead and eat at a nice restaurant close to our Village... and so, we drove home. And then, approaching Quezon Avenue along EDSA, we passed by the new "Eton Centris Walk" with all the glowing "mushroom heads" around - looking as if a space craft landed there! Hardcore Trekkers that we are, the place intrigued us, and we decided to check it out and eat there instead.

There was a limited choice of restaurants - Italian, Vietnamese, Thai and a few other chains. After experimenting on an Italian dish in my own kitchen last weekend, we were open to other options. So, we decided to eat at "Asya", a Filipino-Asian Restaurant. The ambiance was quite nice and the service was good. It was unique in that the head of the backrest of one of the chairs at every table was a drawing of an Asian person - Arab, Indian, Chinese, Filipino, etc. We chose a table with an Arab man's drawing - my younger sister's idea. :)

The food was good. We started with my younger sister's choice of crushed crispy catfish appetizer, garnished with thin green mango sticks, a variety of chopped nuts, chili and lettuce. It came with a vinegary dip with chili mix and chopped spring onion. The catfish was on the salty side... but when mixed with the garnish, wrapped in lettuce and soaked in the dip, it tasted heavenly! The texture was perfect, too! We then continued to titillate our taste buds with prawn Tom Yum soup. I thought I knew Tom Yum well... but the way Asya made theirs was interesting - the spicy spikes were delicately balanced by the rich flavor of coconut milk and the sourness of chunks of red tomatoes. The surface of the soup was lined with a thin membrane of coconut milk where finely chopped chilies were adsorbed. Sipping it was in itself a wonderful experience, with the sour taste, spiciness, and the coconutty flavor all blending in my taste palate in an interesting swirl - it was so good, I didn't realize I finished three servings! :)

My sisters and I then chose a dish each to share... I chose Pad Thai, my younger sis chose breaded Lemon Chicken, garnished with crunchy greens, and older sis chose Bagoong Rice, which came with unsalted scrambled eggs and smoked fish cooked in a sweet marinade, and garnished with chopped lemon grass, green mango strips, caramelized onions and crunchy garlic.

The Pad Thai looked too pale for me, but tasting it... the flavor was definitely not pale! The blend of Thai and Filipino spices balanced the fish sauce, it was hard to tell if it was even there, which was perfect for me because I do not really appreciate it whenever fish sauce becomes overpowering in a dish. The mix of bean sprouts and chopped nuts provided a crunch that complemented the noodle texture, which was just perfect. The chicken was excellent - very tender and tasty underneath a thin breading... and the lemon sauce was not overly sour - it has pale sweetness to it that eases down the palate just when it was about to scream "SOUR"! And chewing on the greens and the thinly sliced cucumber washed the palate - getting it ready for more tastes experience. The Bagoong Rice gave just that - the fermented fish ("bagoong") posed a salty challenge, but was balanced by the neutral taste of the unsalted scrambled fried eggs and the band of garnish that also provided a variety of textures and defined tastes. Together - the "bagoong ensemble" made an exotic taste that was absolutely irristible! :) Needless to say, we were totally satisfied that we even skipped dessert! :) The servings were so big, too, that we needed brown bags to take a considerable amount of left-over home.

Later, we walked off the carbs around the Centris Walk - watching the "mushroom heads" turn green, yellow, blue, purple, pink, and then back again! We had fun people-watching, too... and figuring out what the Eton Centris developers have in mind with the place's Zen facade, a carousel right by the entrance, and a Trekker touch at the square where the restaurants are... and, oh, a kiddie train rounded the square, too! The Asya staff shared that there will be bump cars at the square soon! Hmmm... interesting! :) We made a note to come back when the bump cars are up and running.... :)

So, yeah... time well-spent indeed! We did have a great time... not sure about my brother-in-law though who ate lunch left-over for dinner! =)

***

Sports fan... what fun!

by Philipina A. Marcelo
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These days, the working equation in my life is:

2010 FIFA World Cup + 2010 Wimbledon = superbad productivity

I am almost ready to feel guilty... but then, the World Cup comes only once every four years... and Wimbledon is a tennis fan's tradition that's painful to miss - too painful! So, I have been converting most of my sleep time to sports time... and so I walk around like a zombie in my workplace these days... but you know, the sports fan in me couldn't be any happier! =) So, I guess, spending the days like a zombie isn't too bad after all... not if you see the likes of Diego Forlan, Xavi Hernandez, Lionel Messi, Kaka, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal at least once a week - you may as well put "Zombie" as my middle name! Go right ahead, thank you very much! :)

Aaah, how could I feel bad when I am able to watch those beautifully graceful Spaniards, Brazilians and Argentines running like they're one with the wind... kicking the soccer ball with so much ferocity like their own mothers' lives depended on whether or not the ball was sent to the goal in a sharp thin path across thick walls of goal defenders?! It's like they're showing the world that there is another way to dance the Spanish Flamenco, Argentine Tango and the Brazilian Samba. Hmmmm... delicious!

Just a few hours ago, I saw Uruguay progressed from the Round of 16 after out-goaling South Korea, 2:1. It was beautiful to watch how the South Koreans fought to the finish - refusing to go down without a great fight! When the referee blew his whistle to signal the end of the match, with Uruguay having one goal more than South Korea, the jubilation in triumph among the Uruguay warriors was beautiful to watch... and yet, there was joy in watching the South Koreans weep on their knees in defeat... joy because their tears confirm the hard battle they fought until the very end. And this is the beauty of sports, when played with passion, skill and camaraderie, some beautiful souls shine in the playing field... and it's just awesome to behold!

***

A final quarterfinal... for now = turning point

“They all come to an end at some stage. You hope they don't happen, but they do. It was a great run...."

- Roger Federer, after being overcome by the rising tennis superstar from Sweden, Robin Soderling, in the 2010 French Open Men's Quarterfinals, right at the center stage of Roland Garros' red clay.

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by Philipina A. Marcelo


I think I know what RF means... yeah, I really think I do!

But, oh, no, no, no... I'm nowhere near RF's star streaked professional path - not even remotely close... not even in my wildest dreams - oh, no, not at all! But I know what it's like to be pitted right on a track where you're expected to work like an unfeeling human dynamo, delivering the goods to some people's delight without a question, when all you really want to do is enjoy life's gifts and see how far you could reach with all your cylinders fired up and blazing. Of course, in the beginning everything is fun and fulfilling - the adrenalin rush, the excitement, the laughter, the challenge of clearing formidable hurdles... and the conquest! And you keep going, tasting success, savoring it... pushing further - driven by impossible dreams and good intentions, powered by idealism, sustained by prayers and faith.

And then just when you're about to yell your gut out from all the exhilarating run, life suddenly becomes merely about satisfying people's expectations! Sometimes, the expectations are reasonable and worth the efforts, and you feel compelled to commit and go for them... but in most cases, they are just utterly ridiculous! It becomes sad when life is taken over by seemingly compelling reasons to oblige... luring you to wander away from the roots of your happiness - love. And then, when reasons become non-reasons, then the whole experience becomes just a tragedy... and you float like an empty shell with the shallowest reason for existing. And you just wanna get out... the sad thing is, exits are not conveniently accessible - they never are... and so, you grope for them blindly, stumbling miserably, and without any help from people whose gruesome hunger you fed in those days of naivety.

Fortunately, it is during these moments when love comes to your rescue... taking you by the hand, guiding you out of your misery, and out of your nightmares! And then life becomes rosy once again... and you know that's where you want to stay. Of course, you have gone through so much to know that it will not always be as rosy, but it's easier to imagine that it would always be a happier place, therefore, it's worth devoting one's life to. And so, everything else becomes just a memory. The achievements still bring an awesome feeling of rush and exhilaration whenever you think of them just because you have accomplished all of them very well - even under extremely discouraging circumstances - with the best intentions in mind, and with deserving people thriving from the fruits of your labor... but that's all that they ever will be - just memories. And it feels just about right - perfect, in fact!

***

For the first time since 2002, I missed seeing Roger Federer in action in a Grand Slam Quarterfinals - it's a tennis fan sacrilege, I know! Dang! ;) But I had no choice, I had to satisfy a few expectations - not very unreasonable, but they still interrupt living, obviously! :) I had time to listen to RF's interview after his QF match though... and it's amazing to see how relaxed he was (not a single tear fell, hehe...), taking on questions about his unsuccessful QF run against the same opponent who tried and failed to stop him last year in winning his first ever French Open title - the rising Swede tennis superstar, Robin Soderling - the same guy who masterfully ousted the King of Clay himself, Rafael Nadal, last year from his very own kingdom in the City of Lights!

Maybe RF's composure come from being on top of a heap of incredible talents in men's tennis for the longest time now and from earning an iconic place in the tennis world as possibly the best player the world has ever seen. When one gets to a place like that, it must be easier to be experiencing defeat... just because those experiences no longer send questions on one's capabilities. They are mere glitches as a person like El Maestro, whose sublime talent and intrinsic genius is recognized by everyone, pushes his engine to its limits until its mileage is exhausted beautifully and good!

Still, maybe RF can afford to joke and give just a gentle shrug - almost nonchalant - as Soderling marches on to the semis because at the back of his head, with his new role as a father to beautiful twin girls and a husband to an obviously devoted and supportive wife, there is life after professional tennis! And maybe, pursuing such life would be as exhilarating as amassing Grand Slam titles at a rate that no one else could probably surpass in the future... and so, at this point, RF can afford to sit back and watch Robin Soderling battle it out with Rafa Nadal in the formidable red clay of Roland Garros, while he imagines hanging up his professional tennis racquet in a not-so-distant future? While my tennis fan's heart grieves over that, I can only wish RF the very best when he decides to do that... afterall, it has been a GREAT RUN - unparalled in its awesome glory! While that will become just a memory in the future, it will be a great memory - for him and his multitude of fans.

***

Now that an old phase is coming to a close in my own career, I cannot help but wonder about Roger's run. While I certainly do not feel sadness or regret as I watch the end loom in the horizon, it's hard to rummage through tons and tons of memories, throwing away those that will wear my heart down as I move on, and keeping those that will give greater meaning in welcoming and pursuing this new phase that's about to unfold. I can't even lament the lost time when I think about those kids and their loved ones who might have benefited from my years of idealistic idiocy! I'm just too happy to see them all successful and excited about their own careers now... but, just the same, the idiocy has got to come to an end. And it will... and that's that.

Just thinking about the prospects of new beginnings brings immeasurable happiness... it's pure joy just to commence it! I do not only bring with me "awakened idealism", good intentions, faith and the benefits of great experiences as I navigate this approaching new phase, but I also bring wisdom that sprang from wonderful lessons learned... and, more importantly, I know it will bring me closer to a place I have been longing for - that place that will lay down my roots in the soil of this new phase - love. In that place, there will be no sad experience that will tear my heart apart - never again. And that's where I will stay... to take roots, to grow and flourish, until such time when all but love alone perish to mere memories once more.

Fourteen years... hundreds of students... hundreds of engineers, most of them chemical engineers - all successful now! Whew! And yeah, it may have reached the end but it absolutely has been a great run! And with a few more new concepts I'll be leaving behind as I prepare to fly, it will be an awesome finish, too! And, I certainly am all set and fired up for the next lap... so bring it on! :)


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Love is...

... the order of the day!

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by Philipina A. Marcelo


Aaaaww!

I have been a BIG fan - HUGE - of the heart-warming cartoon panel "Love is..." for more than four years now! I usually begin my day by reading the Gospel and then looking at the "Love is..." panel for the day. :) More often than not, my daily mood and productivity are somewhat positively influenced by how cute the panel was. :) It keeps me company all day, like a pretty rainbow behind the clouds of challenges on many fronts as the day progresses. The panel's magic is mostly rendered by its association with a beloved one... the one in whose heart-imprinted abode I used to find solace and immense joy.

I'm really, really busy right now, trying to beat a thousand and one deadlines... but today's panel is extremely cute, I just can't help myself... had to take a few minutes and write about it! :) While I have a number of favorites over the years, what makes today's panel more special and meaningful than others for me is that I have been hoping and envisionng the exact same thing in the drawing for the last how many months now... but I have been wondering whether it's still possible to be "where I want to be" after all these months of putting "the place" under "urgent professional stuff" in my stack of priorities as I ran all day - everyday - trying to beat these sickening deadlines, hoping they were all for keeping the fire of idealism burning... squeezing out what's left of selflessness, to be of service to humanity in whatever way possible... so that love would become even more meaningful in the end. Riding the dizzying professional twister, I did not realize how far away I strayed from what my heart truly desires though. But alas, I've had enough of running around - chasing things that are, at the end of the day, utterly meaningless to me! I know that now... I just hope it isn't too late... that I am not too late.

A few days ago, with my decision to stop this unnecessary wandering, I have been seriously figuring out a way to retrace my steps toward "the place"... only to see that someone else seemed to have claimed my place there. Naturally, the sorrow drained my energy, and it made me float like an eggshell - unfeeling and empty. :( I have been sluggishly moving about, uninspired and without passion... just going through the motion. And then, I saw this panel... and I realized, of course, it IS POSSIBLE to reclaim my place! And you can bet your bottom dollar that I will reclaim it! :) And I'd be where I want to be! So, help me, love! :)


Cartoon panel credit: Love is... by Kim Casali, conceived by and drawn by Bill Asprey. (http://www.gocomics.com/loveis/)

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Something happens… and I’m head over heels!

"Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever..."
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


Tears for Fears Live in Manila!!

After more than a quarter of a century since I first heard them hit the airwaves and saw them sing their hit songs via music video, I finally saw them perform – LIVE - last May 2, 2010 in a soldout concert at the Araneta Coliseum... yes, in Manila… and with my sisters, too! :) It was the most eventful 2010 evening for me so far - awesome!

Straight from memory lane, it seemed, Tears for Fears, or simply TFF to their fans, burst into the Philippine sky and fell right on the centerstage of Araneta Coliseum in front of a TFF-hungry "80's Manila crowd"! As soon as the first note sounded from the keyboard, everybody knew TFF didn't come to Manila just to talk about the weather... or did they??

They didn't run in circles, they hit the ground sprinting with 'Mad World'... naturally the crowd went TOTALLY MAD! And then they followed it up with 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' without leaving a breather... and the breathless crowd almost brought Araneta Coliseum down to the ground! And, there was no turning back after that!

Roland Orzabal then slowed the phase down to say hello to the screaming Manila crowd... and his greeting drowned completely in the thundering noise in the Big Dome. Curt Smith took his turn, greeting Manila with "Mabuhay", and the crowd went wild... all I heard were my sisters screaming, "I love you, too!" Er, huh?? Yeah, both sisters are married - and their husbands were left at home! =)

With one foot in the past, the duo treated their fans with 'comforting and familiar' as well as brand new TFF songs. Roland and Curt each played songs from their solo ventures as well... you can totally hear the distinct boldness and metaphor in Roland's music and the melancholy quality of Curt's, wrapped in an endearingly soothing voice... and the crowd can't get enough of both! By the time they played the intro to 'Sowing the Seeds of Love', Araneta Coliseum was roaring, and it totally shook the Big Dome. Roland Orzabal did the slow version of 'Billie Jean', as in Billie.Jean of Michael.Jackson, in his signature booming angry voice. That drove one sister crazy! And she's always composed, so you can just imagine how that went! =) Something happened... and I think I COMPLETELY DIED somewhere between 'Pale Shelter' and 'Head Over Heels'... yeah, they sang those two hallmark TFF songs, one after another - relentless! Curt and Roland didn't have to sing much in 'Shout' or 'Woman in Chains' - we did most of the shouting, er, singing! =) We completely let it all out! The crowd was INCREDIBLE... the bottled up excitement for TFF music that got unleashed with a vangeance after more than a quarter of a century was dizzying - in a good way!! So worth the wait! =) Naturally, Curt and Roland were overwhelmed by the response. Roland wondered aloud why on earth haven't they traveled earlier to Manila when they traveled so many times to the Americas and countless European cities to perform, and here was this mob of TFF fans waiting for them to give some love, but getting only pale shelter for nearly three decades! But that evening of May 2, 2010, the performers and the audience were lost in admiration for each other - and no heart was broken either!

My 20-year old niece who just saw Justin Timberlake perform at the Mall of Asia arena went to watch the TFF concert with us and she was rendered completely speechless by the crazed crowd of mostly thirty- to forty-something, with tears fillin' up their glasses, singing with TFF with absolutely flawless lyrics! Her mouth fell open and stayed like that the whole time, shaking her head, not understanding. She's a music enthusiast, too... but I don't know... maybe one has to be an 80's person to have a real appreciation of the profound lyrics and unique sound of songs in that glorious era - TFF's lyrics are, without a doubt, among the most brilliant and thought-provoking in the 80's. The danceable tempo of TFF sound and the unique moves that went with it are simply one of a kind (check out the video of 'Mad World' for instance). In fact, I yelled their songs a lot and danced a lot in their concert - can't help myself there... I tried, but no dice! But hey... 300,000 calories spent and 6 lbs. gone in two hours... maybe more - nope, not complaining!!! =)

Before going to the concert, a friend of mine warned me about how one entertainment writer called a recent concert by TFF in the Bay Area as "disappointing". So, I didn't have great expectations. My sisters and I were just too keen to see two of our music heroes in the 80's, and we didn't really care if they faltered and messed up a few notes here and there. But surprise, surprise! They sounded almost exactly the same as we remembered after more than 20 years of absence - just AWESOME! I can't imagine 'disappointing' and 'TFF' in the same sentence after seeing them perform like that! :) Pure fun - absolutely unbelievable! :)

We went to grab smoothies in our favorite coffee shop after the concert to cool down and rehydrate. It was like coming out of the gym from an exhilarating workout... only that one had our brains working out as well... what with TFF's timeless metaphor - no need for gentle persuasion. And, because Roland and Curt taught us a long time ago that nothing ever lasts forever, we made the most of our momentary freedom from grown-up responsibilities, and allowed ourselves to get totally eightyfied! And, it felt good! Oh, sooo good! :)


Photo credits: Photos 1, 3, 4, 5, 6: Janzen Poala Marie Marcelo (the niece...she's not in any of the photos, of course! Hehe...); Photo 2: Grace Marcelo-Go

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Blogging…

… without the bludgeoning of circumstance!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


Some people ask why I don’t blog more about work-related stuff.

Why, indeed? Well, it’s because I am against thinking about work whenever I sit in front of my “personal computer” to blog or to visit my favorite social networking site – Facebook – to relax, unwind, and connect with friends in the cyberspace.

Not so long ago, after learning how my health was being adversely affected by too much stress from work, I resolved that I will give myself relaxation time EVERYDAY and it will NOT involve work in any way! I will work hard every single day, but when I leave my workplace for the day, I leave work right there and will be back to it in the morrow. I will not bring it with me at home, and if I did - for some compelling reasons, I certainly would not sleep with it! :)

Blogging for me is a much needed break from the pressure at work – it’s a relaxation activity, therefore, it shouldn’t involve work. It’s a way to disintegrate myself from the “professional harness” for a little bit and think more freely… and even loosely, like a “normal” human being, and still trying to be responsible that what I blog about would not be detrimental to my professional life. In other words, when I blog, I’m just “Philip” and not Prof. Philipina A. Marcelo, Ph.D. - yes, I am putting a distinction between those two, too... no matter what the Education Law says! ;)

In the classroom, while I enjoy talking about Daniel Bernoulli’s equation in my Fluid Mechanics lectures, usually allowing myself to go on an inviscid "academic trance" - allowing my soul and parts of my heart to show themselves - while discussing its applications using a few episodes of Star Trek as illustrations... in my blogs, I’d rather talk about Yiruma’s music and how it is beautifully punctuated with the glory of falling in love! In the lab, while the various functionalities of whey proteins continue to leave me in awe that they usually make me lose my sense of time, I’d much rather talk about prayers and wishful thinking in my blogs – they keep my ideals intact and renew my positive views on things, which are always in danger of erosion given the enormous "shear stress" at work. In the University, while I am very vocal about my opinion that teaching and research must be pursued with equal sense of responsibility, and that I believe that those who insist that a profession in the Academia only involved coming to class from 7:00 AM to 4:00 PM, teaching with 20-year old lecture notes - and that’s it - are underserving of their tenure... I’d much rather talk about Bella Swan’s one true love – the beautiful Edward Cullen – in my blog! Why? Because there are things, like love and hope, that I’d rather feel more abundantly in my private life… which are scarce in the workplace. And, maybe they should be, too, actually?! :)

Come to think of it, perhaps it's only the admin part of my job that really constitute the irritating harness, and the rest constitute natural inclinations. And yet, while I try to fulfill my responsibilities in the workplace with much reverence for my profession and for sincerely caring about people and institutions that depended on it, it isn’t the same professional experience that I'm looking for. Nevertheless, I stay where I am right now - for now - because I love my profession and the university that I serve, especially the students - they are brilliant, but most of them cannot afford the more expensive places that promise cutting-edge education. And because luck has afforded me such an experience, I thought I could bring it to them. I’m still hoping that change would come in my present workplace - for the students' sake, and for the country's sake... and when it finally does, I know it’s going to be a meaningful one. In the depths of my soul, I know that that is going to be soon enough. And then, I will move on... freedom will finally be mine! In the meantime, the contradictions make up the “professional harness” that can sometimes drain one’s energy... but I don’t have to let them drain my energy. This is why, when I leave my workplace, I choose to surround myself with the emotional sustenance and joy that one only gets when he or she is “normal” and carefree, not restrained by the harness. And so, I write about other things... the more substantial things, which my soul yearns for – in earnest - to strengthen my shield against frustration!

Some may argue that if you liked, or loved, your profession then whatever you do would never be about (hard)work. While that is generally true, it may not necessarily apply to everything about work – there’s always a few exceptions, even trade-off, I think. For instance, I love teaching… it brings me indescribable joy to see how my students’ faces lit up everytime something seem to make sense for them in my lectures - it makes all the hardwork of preparing for a lecture so worth it… but grading papers is a torture for me, and having to deliberate whether a kid fails or not is an unbelievable torment! Also, while it brings me happiness and sense of fulfillment to be envisioning a great future for my workhome, making plans to make it happen, and executing the plan – no matter how hard, and sometimes against all odds, too – and seeing it through to the finish line together with wonderful colleagues, it annoys me to be dealing with smug, uncooperative, narrow-minded and complacent people, especially when they wouldn’t even explain themselves… they just wouldn’t cooperate, and that’s it! I try very hard to remind myself, convince myself even, that all the negative attitude is nothing personal, and merely due to lack of exposure and experience to draw wisdom from... making them fall into the ugly pit of complacency without realizing, in uber smugness and utter ignorance, that they did! This shouldn't bother me too much, except that when they go down, they bring the whole workplace down with them! And therefore those who knew better should keep striving to be extra patient... and keep going, just to balance things out and keep the place afloat. But sometimes, frustration gets the better of me, too...

Oops, aggravation! STOP!

See? This is precisely why I don’t blog about work! ;)

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The river flows in...

...YouTube!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo



No, I don't live in a cave or something... in fact, I live right in the heart of a modern and among the busiest Megacities in the world today! I'm some kind of a techie, too, but for some reason, I haven't really caught the YouTube fever until recently... I guess, I simply wasn't the YouTube kind of a person, and I can't explain why not either when (almost) everyone who has a computer and internet access is hooked to YouTube somehow these days... and I have two laptops and a netbook, and am usually on-line, too! =) Although it's the lamest excuse, I'd say, it's probably my crazy schedule... or my aversion to anything where respect for intellectual property rights and/or privacy is not crystal clear? But I came across a video of the extremely talented Yiruma playing "River flows in you" on YouTube, and it turned me to an instant YouTube believer. Hot, hot... hot!

The music is absolutely beautiful... I love the varying melodic texture and the swing of emotions that it invokes. It's just lovely how the melody starts with some sort of uncertainty and doubt, going back and forth... and then somehow finds its rhythm and picks up to a seemingly unstoppable surge of powerful emotion... and flows beautifully to an astonishingly sweet melody that I'm pretty sure can only be inspired by love... and falling in love. The melody then rushes to amplify the feeling and the sweetness in the air where its waves touched it. While the sweet melody brings you achingly close to touching love with the very tip of your finger, feeling it, tasting it in the air around you, the melody slows down so painstakingly... once again doubting - to a point of vulnerability... looking for answers to unknown questions, asking for reassurance. And then, with another surge of energy, defiance and musical emotion, the doubt is overcome... and the music again flows towards the sweetness of loving... and then it turns tender and peaceful, but so full of conviction... so sure of its course, so sure of its intentions, its wants and its very existence... the fervor to carry the melody home to its sweetest conclusion is almost tangible, the rush almost sweeps you off your feet - absolutely exhilarating! Like the sincerest of whispered prayers, the music then slowly plays, as if one is professing love and devotion to a beloved. And then it picks up to a joyful cadence of victory... and then slowly, solemnly, it winds down to a breathtakingly tender and oh, so beautiful finish. It just leaves you breathless and wanting for more, and you just can't help yourself - exactly like falling in love!

Yiruma is such an incredible talent! Watching him play "River flows in you" via YouTube, made me think it's so ridiculously sweet how his unlined face still contorts - obviously, emotionally taken - at various points in the piece when he must've already played it a million times by now! As if the beauty of his music wasn't enough, how he throws his body backward, or leans forward, or tilts his head to the side until it touched his shoulder to contain the towering waves of emotion as they impact his soul is just totally beautiful to watch! Hmm... if one could only embrace a melody. Oh, well....

Alright, Steve Chen, Chad Hurley and Jawed Karim... here's an extremely late confession: I hate you for your extraordinary genius that makes most of humanity - especially my kind - feeling like idiots ;), but thanks for your vision, and your boldness to turn it to reality that is YouTube. Now, I can watch Yiruma anytime of the day... and savor the sweetness of falling in love again and again, too! :) And, if only for that, I think that in spite of my hatred for you, I'm a big fan! :) I don't know how that could be possible, but hey, you guys are the genius ones, so go figure! :)

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Photos: (1) "Two for the Lake", taken at the Seneca Lake (Geneva front) in Geneva, NY (October 2005); (2) "Sail-fish", taken at the Cayuga Lake in Ithaca, NY (May 2007).
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Power retreat...

...is a bliss!
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


Who was it who said that 'sometimes the most beautiful places we can find are in our minds'?

I love it when I could just retreat to a far away place in the middle of a crazy day, shielded from the glare of dark thoughts and ill vibrations around... recuperating from the deep stabs of disappointments with comforting little sighs of prayer... pausing for a moment just to savour the sweet embrace of dear silence... blocking the chaos, allowing the mind to go momentarily numb from frenzied, energy-zapping glee... resting the mind in one precious moment of peace... gently rocking back and forth to the peaceful rhythm of calm heartbeat, delighting quietly in sweet memories... tasting serenity with clean, crisp air... a thoughtless stare on a blank space, or better yet, closing the eyes and letting the gentle rays of the sun caress the face, renewing life with their warmth... clear sky, just listening to the murmur of the wind as it dances and swirls around the fine feathers of a bird's wing on a flight... gulping the sparkling bliss of rare tranquility – priceless!

Annoyance, why do you exist? Sincerity, where do you hide? Freedom, why are you so elusive? Retirement... what is taking you so long???

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Photo: "Target" taken at the Seneca Lake (Geneva front) in Geneva, NY (October 2005).

Milestone...

...how exhilarating! But how fleeting....
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by Philipina A. Marcelo


I have a thousand and one deadlines to beat... but today, I decided to devote a few minutes to write something about a remarkable experience from last week, specifically last March 10, 2010, before all the excitement fades to oblivion.

By some stroke of luck and a lot of help from the Director of the University of Santo Tomas (UST) Research Center for the Natural and Applied Sciences, Prof. Cristina A. Binag, Ph.D., I seem to have slipped through the “Dangal ng UST” (Pride of UST) Board of Judges eye-of-a-needle scrutiny, and found in my hands that beautiful wooden trophy decorated with the seal of the University and the bronze statuette of the Dominican friar, Rev. Fr. Miguel de Benavides, O. P., who founded UST in 1611. The trophy was designed by J. D. Delos Santos, the former Dean of the UST College of Fine Arts and Design. It was definitely a milestone in my career as a faculty member of UST. It sent my spirit flying to the beautiful tropical summer skies and got my soul singing magnificent tunes of joy. All of a sudden, all the pains of the past how many months from my fierce struggle to keep things together and sane for myself in my workplace vanished... replaced by an awesome feeling of exultation of the purest kind!

Looking at the remarkable achievements by those who held the beautiful trophy before me, I was absolutely humbled by the experience, it made me doubt whether the experience was real or just a dream. I haven't ruled out dream, actually! The specific award was the “Gawad San Alberto Magno para sa Natatanging Nailathalang Pananaliksik sa Agham at Teknolohiya”. It was given for the chapter I wrote with my former professor and Chair of my Ph. D. Special Committee in Cornell University, Prof. Syed S. H. Rizvi, Ph.D., in the “Handbook of Membrane Separations: Chemical, Pharmaceutical, Food, and Biotechnological Applications". The Handbook was edited by Anil K. Pabby, Syed S. H. Rizvi and Ana Maria Sastre, and published by CRC Press, Taylor and Francis Group. The 35-page chapter was entitled, “Applications of Membrane Technology in the Dairy Industry”. It covered the evolution of membrane utilization in the dairy industry that led to innovative processes and products that revolutionized the industry to what it is today. The host of contributors in the Handbook is quite formidable... from some of the most prestigious academic institutions, industry leaders and research institutes in different parts of the world. Trying to be in the same league was tough... it was a lot of heavy toil. I didn't even come close to being 'almost there', but the pain was absolutely worth it! I am thankful to Prof. Rizvi for helping me take a peek at the world where only the most accomplished men and women in science and technology reside. There is no way that I could deserve a membership card as of yet, but the J. D. Delos Santos trophy is a symbol of hope for me. At least, the little scientist part of me could hope. :)

Dangal’s theme this year is “Gurong Tomasino: Daluyan ng Kagandahan, Tambuli ng Katotohanan at Lundayan ng Kabutihan”, which, in the words of Prof. Lilian J. Sison (Dean of UST Graduate School) who chaired the Board of Judges this year, “extols the hallmarks of Thomasian Teacher – Beauty, Truth and Virtues”. Just like the previous years, the event was held at the San Martin De Porres Cinematorium at the UST Faculty of Medicine Building. And just like the previous years, the faculty members were dressed up nicely – just one indication of the prestige of the event for the Thomasians. And, as icing on the mouth-watering cake, I received the symbolic trophy from two of the most accomplished and most respected women in UST today: Prof. Clarita D. L. Carillo, Ph.D. - Vice Rector for Academic Affairs and Research - and Prof. Binag, who was also a recipient of the award and several other national and international awards for her works as a scientist. Just being on the same stage as these two women, with Rev. Fr. Rolando V. Dela Rosa, O. P. - Rector of UST - and other illustrious members of the Thomasian Community watching from the front seats of the storied Cinematorium, was already a staggering honor for me. Oh, oh... btw, somebody handed me a white envelope, too! :) Truly, there really is such thing as luck! And maybe, out of boredom, fate decided to throw some my way that day... and I can't complain.

I went home that day, physically tired - and painfully so - from trying to endure the unbelievable punches of heavy work for the past how many months, but spiritually energized by the experience. My soul reached out to the One whose mercy is endless and let my soul sang Him a heartfelt prayer of gratitude. I know that this gift is a sign for something... I’m still figuring out what that is, unsuccessfully so far. But I’ll figure it out somehow. In the meantime, I’ll stick to doing what I’ve been doing... a reliable source of constant joy, that one that brought me this prestigious honor so unexpectedly: conscientious service with humility, propelled by passion and good intentions, inspired by love and faith. I am certain that I will keep faltering and failing - hard sometimes, that's for sure - but hopefully, He’d grant me the wisdom to see what He wishes of me this time... and hopefully, with His grace, I’d find the courage to fulfill it.

In the meantime, hmmmm... I know I’ll be having a grand celebration with my family soon, not just for the award but for several other most wonderful gifts that members of my family received... but I wonder, what can I gift myself with the content of my white envelope??? :) For sure, shopping is in order... soon! Or maybe... a spring or summer trip to a place I miss very much, with a beloved one whose company I long for so painfully... that place where my heart resides, where living with heartfelt smile every second of every single day comes as easy as 1-2-3... okay, 1-2-3-4, actually! :) But because of my messed up priorities - that ironically enough brought me a J. D. Delos Santos trophy - I'm not sure if I'm still welcome there though.... :( If I am being honest to myself, I'd say I only have enough room for one trophy of this kind in my life, unexpected as it was... and that's it. Really. And that's precisely why that moment was a milestone for me... because of the realization that came with it. The experience was undoubtedly exhilarating and absolutely fulfilling - both professionally and personally, yes... but absolutely fleeting! Because, alas, while the moment was indeed special, there are things that are far more important and far more filling for the soul as far as I'm concerned... such as heartfelt smiles and the warmth of a place where one's heart resides. They urge the heart to keep beating, inspire hope for better things, and make every moment of this life worth living for... and as easy as 1-2-3-4.

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Photo credit:  All the photos in this post belong to me, although taken by someone else who gifted them to me. I reserve the copyright as owner of the photos, and they may not be used for purposes other than in this blog.

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