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by Philipina A. Marcelo
I had an important realization a few weeks ago, just before 2010 was coming to a close... and it's all about goodbyes. I realized how fleeting everything truly is in this life... here today, gone tomorrow - everything... and everyone! And yet, some beautiful memories stay with us, especially those life-changing ones, those that touched us in many special ways. They leave vivid images in our minds because they are engraved in our hearts.
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Goodbye to exhilarating victories... and on to more subtle but meaningful ones?
"Variety", "precision" and "grace" are just some of the words usually found alongside the brilliant and high-class tennis that the cool and sublime genius, Roger Federer, plays. For most of the last decade, Roger Federer was the lone and towering wave of enormous force in the world of tennis... not that he no longer is these days. He remains to be a formidable force to be reckoned with in the tennis world... except that, these days, he no longer is the only one.
After years of being on top, he is now a "second fiddler", as mean sports analysts would say, to his long-time former second fiddler, Rafael "Rafa" Nadal. After winning
his fourth Aussie Open Crown - his record-breaking 16th Grand Slam single's title - in the opening of last season in Melbourne, he shocked the world by failing to defend his crown in Roland Garros. He fell in the Quaterfinals from that hungry-for-a-win racquet wielded by the then up-and-coming Swede superstar, Robin Soderling. Because of the glory of his career that left tennis enthusiasts and the legends who made historical achievements awestruck for a decade now, that occurrence in the City of Lights felt like an anomaly! As he staggered his way to the Quarterfinals in Wimbledon... and losing to the hard-hitting shot trickster, Thomas Berdych - in that grass court of the All England Club where he was the undisputed King of his hard-hitting generation, the tennis fandom fell speechless from the shock! And in Flushing Meadows, where he was edged by Juan Martin Del Potro of Argentina in a tightly contested final match in the previous year, he couldn't recover from a self-induced hiccup and exited in the semi-finals as his opponent, the perennial #3 in the world, Novak Djokovic, stared and shook his head in disbelief! While the Swiss Maestro regrouped, picking up a title each in Stockholm and Cincinnati, and capturing the prestigious ATP World Tour Year Ender Crown in London against the other Top 8 players of the world, beating Rafa Nadal in a three-setter final match - to equal the five-win record shared by Pete Sampras and Ivan Lendl - he remained seated behind
Rafa Nadal as World #2. And then sports analysts, damn them, upped the volume of their talks on "Federer decline", "the end of Federer", "Men's tennis without Federer", "Nadal is the New King", etc., and these are the same guys who were swearing a few years back that Roger Federer is the BEST tennis player that ever walked the planet, and will continue to be that for many generations. I'm not sure what was more heartbreaking for Roger, the actual losses or the piercing words. I will not begin to speculate how that made him feel... because it made me feel awful - and I am just a fan! Apart from occasionally shoving back with a hey-get-a-tennis-history-book-and-look-me-up sounding replies to acid questions, he never showed devastation. Instead, cheerful photos of him taking vacation with his young family emerged in the internet... and they were very pleasing and absolutely heartwarming to see. People then began to understand where is Roger getting this calmness and armor from devastation from: wonderful family moments.But there's more....
While his own world - the tennis world - the world that thrived for a decade on the excitement he brought through his brilliance was being unkind to him, Roger reinvented himself and turned the tide once more to the tennis world's favor. In
December, as he was diligently stitching together and firming up his winning form with a more "aggressive" tactic for the next season of tennis, he also organized the "Match for Africa" in Zurich, Switzerland. It is an exhibition match with his so-called rival, Rafa Nadal, organized through the Roger Federer Foundation. The event was aimed at generating funds to send impoverished African children to school. Rafa followed his lead and did the same, and Roger played another exhibition match with his "nemesis" in Madrid, Spain. Even when the tennis world was on a break then, the world was all excited with the wonderful exhibition matches Roger and Rafa played. Needless to say, Roger seemed exhilarated by the impact of his action... using his incredible talent, fame and fortune to extend a helping hand where help is badly needed. With this wonderful trend that he started - forging camaraderie even between "rivals" to make a difference - the tennis world, for sure, will never be the same again. And so, the tennis world assumes a great image of constantly evolving excitement and a care for humanity... once again, care of its El Maestro, Roger Federer. Roger might've started writing his "goodbye note" to the tennis world as an active player just because he won't be young and strong enough to play forever.
And yet, he is showing the world that a "goodbye" to his old world does not mean a "decline" from his previous status there. After all, how could one be achieving great things - one after another - worthy for the history books one moment, and then being a "second fiddler" to someone else the next moment? Life has stages... and Roger is showing us that we must move from one stage to the next. In fact, a "goodbye" from his old world could be a "hello" to another, which could even be a spawn of his old world, where he could once again generate an exhilarating energy! Only this time, it is more meaningful - not just for himself and his loved ones, but also for a multitude of people. Being able to see that, being brave enough to accept this reality even when you are still at the top of your game, I believe, is the real mark of great achievement and the real measure of a TRUE CHAMPION!!***
Goodbye to Love
For a little over three years, I was hanging on to keep the flame of long-distance love alive for someone special and dear. It's still hard for me to speak about it... even now that it's all died out. Perhaps, it was the way it ended that brings sadness to an otherwise perfect memory.
Distance is not a friend of love - I know that now. It makes love suffer... and suffering erodes love - even the truest kind. I know that I tempted fate by
choosing the difficult situation of being away from the loved one - to feed that "selfish monster" called idealism, but I was faithful... and yet, suffering lingered. While I made all kinds of precautions... using professional preoccupation as a shield from suffering, distance muddled up communication, and a muddled up communication line confuses feelings associated with love. Confusion and sometimes conflicting feelings can inflict torturous suffering, too. Sometimes, even well-meaning friends can add to the confusion... passing on messages with hints of opinion that they honestly believe would help, and yet, they don't. But more than anything else, when honesty becomes an issue, and temptations start to actually tempt, then love slowly slips away. I think I suffered more from the lack of honesty from the other end... perhaps, that was a survival strategy... I wouldn't know 'cause I lost love the day honesty was thrown out of the back door.But love is about forgiving and forgetting... and so, yes, I forgave... and I've forgotten, too! Therefore, goodbye to love - that love! But I'm keeping the good memories and the most wonderful friendship in my heart - both remain to be the very best I've ever had, and will sustain my hope for the right love... next time around.
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The last goodbye: Crossing over to the other side
I fought a number of exciting battles... most of them I won - out of the brute force of struggle and hardwork. I thought all battles could be won like that... until I had to fight the battle of my life.
Death, I found, has no mercy... it knows no boundaries, no race. It does not respect societal status, nor recognize a lifetime of kindness or achievements - no matter how brilliant! When it comes to take you
to crossover to the other side, it does so with cold, unfeeling and impersonal efficiency. It leaves you with no other sane choice but to rise calmly to your feet and follow its lead. Therefore, it is more reasonable to just ask for time - a little time - to take care of the practical things so that no one would suffer as you embark to crossover to the other side.Memories... these are the very best things that you could possibly leave behind - more meaningful and useful than any material inheritance... more lasting, more enduring. Therefore, build as much as you can while you have your "little time"... and share them with as many people as possible - especially those who need them. As others would say, "live today as if it was your last...." I completely agree.
Embrace life with vigor and enthused excitement! Cast away sorrows and worries 'cause they won't buy you time. Endeavor to commune with happiness and love... and when they're not there, persevere to look for them. When you finally found them, stay in their heart and keep them in yours. Live life as if it was your last chance to say goodbye! And saying goodbye begins at every chance you get.
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Photo credits and acknowledgement: All the Roger Federer photos are grabbed from various sites (#1: Roger after winning the Australian Open in 2007, BBC Sports, #2: Rafa and Roger at the ATP Final 2010 from tennisthoughts.com, #3. Roger and Rafa from Roger Federer's Facebook Wall photos, and #4. Roger from live-onlinetennistournament.blogspot.com.) Thanks for the use of the photos. I own all other photos.
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