QOTD

QOTD #13:  To be kind is to be unselfish.

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by PAM

"What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.
Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded... sensibly.  Reservedly.  Mildly."

         - George Saunders 
           Convocation Speech
           for the Class of 2013 of Syracuse University, New York 
           published on July 31, 2013, "The 6th Floor", NY Times
           

For Academic people like myself, it is very easy to relate to Mr. Saunders's experience... those 'failures of kindness', and the wanting to be kind and less selfish.  In this profession, there is not a day that doesn't end with us not wondering whether we have done 'enough'... in showing our students the path to unselfishness, kindness - with our own ways as examples, especially in treating them, in serving as their mentors.

But what else really landed solidly on my 'unkind jaw' among the Saunders efficient 'jabs and punches' in his speech is this: "We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separate, and don’t want to be."   

I remember judging one person harshly sometime back, not by what he used to say and do really, but by how he said what he said and how he did what he did.  Like many others then, kindness was definitely not a part of my vocabulary when he was concerned.  In fact, I 

Heartfelt smiles sustain kindness... 
...are sustained by kindness.

was close to disliking him to real resentment.  But these days... now that I am experiencing what he used to experience on a daily basis, I am beginning to understand why he said what he said and did what he did.  I'm still not quite convinced as to the way things should be said and how things should be done... but, I guess, that's only natural, because we are two different people with different ways of expressing ourselves and doing things.  But what I did find out was... we live by exactly the same values and principles in life!  We have the same exact 'grand and ambitious intention' to make things better... for others.  And these days, when things get rough and unbearable, it is usually he - the same person I almost disliked to the apex of resentment - who goes out of his way to quietly lift my spirit with words of wisdom and hope, with touching acts of unselfishness, with endearing sense of humor, with sincere understanding... and, yes, earnest kindness.  And I do appreciate... it helps in staying positive about what's out there... in the immensity that I long for.    

If only I wasn't too 'detached' from the Universe then when he was doing what he did, and saying what he said... there might have been enough opportunities to be kind then, and I could have taken advantage of them all to fulfill a human being's lifetime 'quota' for kindness.  Then again, maybe this is what Mr. Saunders meant by 'some of this “becoming kinder” happens naturally, with age.'  And I just most recently celebrated my 45th birthday.  :)

Therefore, kindness, come... you are welcome!  :)


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