Old hobby...

...is dying.  Surely though, it doesn't have to be that way.
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by PAM


I have been reading again... I mean, reading fiction again.  Going into adulthood, it has been one of my fave hobbies that I take refuge in whenever reality becomes a bit 'unbearable'.  Growing up, it was some sort of 'addiction', the one 'vice' that I used to indulged myself.  It was where most of my money went... and I say it was an investment that was worth every centavo.  It stretched imagination to a vividness that links fiction to a creative reality.  As a result, I feel that the creative side of my brain has always been 'well-exercised', and it helps now as I try very hard to be creative in leadership.  

'Creative in leadership'... oh, God, how I wish that was true!  The only thing is I can only wish for it!

Fiction or non-fiction, I love reading... and writing, obviously.  The past how many months, however, had been grim as far as reading per se is concerned.  Too much work... too many worrying stuff in my head, too many concerns that demand most of my waking hours... and sleeping time, too.  Too much!  Even my metabolism seems to protest... I have been gaining weight, even when I'm usually forced to skip meals!  The extra fat around my tummy is so uncomfortable, so is the extra weight in my arms... they make movements limited - it's utterly frustrating!  I'm very sure the metabolism problem is not just due to age... it's more due to the 'unhealthy lifestyle' that I lead these days in my desire to satisfactorily render a service that's way beyond what is expected of me.  Uh-huh, idealism can lead to obesity, I tell ya! ;)

"It's my feeling we'll win in the end.

I won't harm you or touch your defenses, vanity and security.

Don't you forget about me."

My fave hobby has taken the back seat - way behind many 'priority activities', activities that are supposed to make life worth living for... mostly for others, or so my 'idealism gauge' suggests.

But over the past two weeks, I found myself browsing my cyber library with materials to read where I can get lost in the fragrant garden of creativity in fiction.  In fact I was surprised when I realized that I've read five books in seven days in spite of my heavy schedule!  And I was even more surprised that three of those five books were ones I've read several times already in my teenage days.  I read through, closing my eyes here and there, and realizing that I've almost memorized the words... and that most of my involuntary expressions now were borrowed from the

Letting go, thankful for a full life lived without regrets.

heroines in the books I read while I was growing up.  It should spook me a bit, shouldn't it?  But, nah.  In fact, I think I'm appreciating my childhood... my 'growing-up years' were kinda cool.  My childhood wasn't perfect, that's for sure, but those years were remarkable as they shaped the kind of person that I've become.  And, based on the level of fulfillment that I'm feeling now, I deeply appreciate my childhood.  The wonderful experience that those years held was partly because of the influence of a family member, my uncle, who passed away recently.  Like my old books, he completed my childhood... planted some dreams worth pursuing in my head and in my heart.  And now that I am chasing my dreams with much gusto and incredible feeling of fulfillment, I give thanks to God for gifting me and my siblings with his presence in the early years of our lives, which shaped our dreams and aspirations towards our adulthood.

Sure, I can be happier now despite the many gifts from God that I immensely enjoy.  But hey, isn't that what faith is about?  You let God direct your life... accept His will, His gifts without question and use them productively to praise Him, glorify Him, hoping in his love that He will lead you towards the fulfillment of the most precious dreams you hold closest to your heart.

Sometimes, you just have to hang in there... keep hoping, keep wishing, keeping the faith... keeping an eye on the horizon with hopeful anticipation - the quiet and peaceful horizon where a new day is about to burst in its wonderful glory!  And you calm your restless heart with God's assuring peace and love.

Life goes on.


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Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video link.

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