ATM...

...I am speechless.
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by PAM

Therefore, let me try to find songs to help me express what I am actually feeling right now.  Almost immediately, this comes to mind...

"Out of the darkness and into the sun...

...I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change, and breakaway...

...gotta keep moving on, fly away, breakaway."

...just because it's the closest song to describe what I am feeling 'at the moment'.  I'm very sorry if that sounded like being 'self-important'.   

There are many interesting opportunities (to serve) in front of me right now.  While they make me quite happy, and just a bit flattered, I am utterly blown away by the excitement they entail.  It seems that these opportunities were rolling on different flashy streets when, all of a sudden, they met 'detour' signs somewhere... making them roll down my little alley, and stopped serendipitously at my doorstep.  Ah, what luck, indeed!  

But yes, all said opportunities are, indeed, very attractive - and by 'attractive', I mean every single one is absolutely challenging and exciting;  they have the potential to effect radical' change of lasting and positive impact on areas and advocacies that I care about very much, and it seems that there's plenty of help if one tried to turn them into positive change; and they have the potential to bring personal happiness

Praying to attain depth and grace - in age... through a maze of
opportunities that sprouted and grew from the daily sprinkling of
committed, honest and selfless service.

and incredible sense of fulfillment as well - whichever way the cookie crumbled.  So, I have one very tough decision to make.  So help me God.

I guess it all depends on what is most important and, given my age and my remaining productive years, with which opportunity can I make the biggest positive impact, and make my borrowed time really and truly productive time.  No, money is not a factor 'cause with me, it's never about the money... and never about personal ambition either.  And that is easy because the opportunities that come my way do not bring riches nor fame and glory anyway... but they make the soul sing, they make one glow from inner happiness - even when they usually bring me down to my knees first.  Then again, isn't that wonderful... they bring me down to my knees - and pray?  They make me more aware that, up there, someone way mightier than any of us all is looking down upon us - with loving and merciful eyes, but with the impeccable sense of justice.  And yet, He has an abundance of hope, too, when we are down on our knees - in frustration, and in desperate search of inspiration. Therefore, why bring burnt offering?  This awareness is my inspiration to commit to the tasks in front of me - with diligence, honesty and compassion, and everything else that make the greatest of offerings that I am capable of.  It's not always perfect, but I am always blessed with equally committed co-servants - colleagues, co-workers and bosses.  They make every second in service wonderful and meaningful.  And we are always blessed with a refreshing sprinkling of little gifts that make us proud, joyful, and always spiritually refreshed.

And yet, on some days, this is how it feels...

"I feel like the window closes oh so quick

Hopelessly, I'm taking a a mental picture of you now

'Cause hopelessly... the hope is we have so much to feel good about."

And we hold on to our seats, close our eyes, dream wonderful dreams, and let them calm us down.  And when the panic subsides, hope creeps in - in cottony soft little steps... and settles inside the heart.  Hope makes the heart plump of beautiful things to look forward to, and beat with the rhythm of a calming breeze.  We open our eyes... and then we begin again.  

No, it's never easy... but we do it anyway - always hoping for the very best, always dreaming of a beautiful ending when our borrowed time runs out, and we are reunited with the mighty but gentle One above.

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Video credit:  Thanks, YouTube, for the video link.

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